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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271534">Some Say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyrivaille/pseuds/allyrivaille'>allyrivaille</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Some Say [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Reader-Insert</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:26:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>45,938</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29271534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allyrivaille/pseuds/allyrivaille</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jean Kirstein/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Some Say [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2149662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wind whips through my hair as I glide through the wreckage of Trost. Scouts down below count the deceased. I stop on a roof and gaze over the district. Who would’ve guessed this would have happened again. Those two titans showing their ugly faces. Did they not do enough last time?</p>
<p><br/>
  <em>  I scramble out from underneath a broken down building, my trembling fingers unhook gear from a deceased survey corps soldier. Titans grow closer to me as I fight for my survival.    </em><br/>
<em>    I am alone.      </em><br/>
<em>    Parents eaten by titans.      </em><br/>
<em>    City evacuated.      </em><br/>
<em>    Leaving a child behind to fend for herself. </em></p>
<p><br/>
    Jean catches my attention, waving me down to his spot on the street. I drop down and approach him.  <br/>
    He has a grave look on his face.   “I hate doing this…” he pulls down the mask. “I found Marco.” <br/>
    My face falls, the lump in my throat is already forming. “Please tell me he’s okay. He’s in the infirmary right?”<br/>
    He shakes his head. “He didn’t make it. No one saw what happened.” <br/>
    I squeeze my eyes shut trying to fight back the tears. Sucking in a deep breath, I open my eyes and look over at Jean. His eyes hold the same sadness.<br/>
    Life was easier when it was just me, when the only person I had to look out and care for was myself. Since coming here, I’ve made friends with people I would now consider family. It kills me inside to know that they can be taken away in an instant. Especially a person like Marco, who had a heart of gold. <br/>
    Jean puts a comforting arm around my shoulders and I lean into him a little. As much as we butt heads, I enjoy his company, and how he makes me feel. <br/>
    Marco was our friend, he introduced Jean to me after our first day. He brought us together and now here we stand without him.       </p>
<p>   <em>Marco grabs me by the arm, dragging me over to a table with a guy sitting by himself. His haircut is a little strange but it suits him. Forcing me down onto the bench across from the guy Marco gives us a huge grin.</em><br/>
<em>   "(y/n), this is Jean Kirstein. Jean, this is (y/n)." He introduces us.</em><br/>
<em>   Jean and I share an uncomfortable look before I hold my hand out across the table to him. His cheeks flush pink a little but he takes my hand, shaking it tightly.</em><br/>
<em>   "Nice to meet you, Jean." I say with a small smile. </em><br/>
<em>   "Likewise." He answers looking away from me.</em><br/>
<em>    Marco nudges him hard in the side. "Be nice. (y/n) here wants to join the Survey Corps."   </em><br/>
<em>    Jean head snaps back in my direction. "Are you mentally deficient ?"   </em><br/>
<em>    My face drops and I look at him like he's stupid. "Sorry, do you not want to fight for humanity?" I question back. </em><br/>
<em>    "I can do that without getting my ass eaten by a titan." He sneers.</em><br/>
<em>    I cross my arms over my chest and smirk at him. "That will be the only thing that will eat your ass."</em><br/>
<em>    His mouth drops open and he doesn't know to respond to that. Marco winks at me before trying to soothe the situation. </em></p>
<p><br/>
    I slip away from Jean’s hold as much as I don’t want to. “I better get going.”<br/>
    Jean catches me by the wrist. “Please be careful.”<br/>
    “I will.” I give him a forced smile before taking off to my rounds.<br/>
<br/>
    I sit in the Survey Corps barracks dining hall where I have been hiding all afternoon. I stare endlessly into a cup of cold coffee. All I want right now is to vanish into my room and hide for the rest of the night. So many, too many people were lost and there was nothing I could do about it. <br/>
    A tear rolls down my face as I think of Marco and what his last moments were like. I should have been around to save him or help him fight. My body starts to shake as a wave of grief washes through me.<br/>
    Erwin walks in and I wipe the tears from my cheek as he comes to sit across from me. I straighten up my posture but I can feel myself wanting to curl into a ball.<br/>
    “Do you still want to join the Survey Corps?” He asks with a stern look on his face.<br/>
    I sigh and look him directly in the eye. “I haven’t changed my mind. This is something I’m meant to do, this is my fate. I want to help humanity.”<br/>
    He nods in approval. “Good to hear. I want you to stand with me when we address the cadets this evening.”<br/>
    “What? Really?” I say confused.<br/>
     He smiles. “Yes, really. I’m proud of who you’ve become since we took you in. We’ve seen so much growth since you started training.”<br/>
     “Thanks to you and Levi for keeping me under control. I wouldn’t be here today without either of you.”<br/>
     “It was your determination.” Erwin comments.<br/>
      “More like being hard headed.” Levi adds from the corner.<br/>
      I roll my eyes and stand up. “I can always count on you to add your two cents to a conversation about me.”<br/>
      Erwin stands with me. “I will ask you to wait in the shadows until we have our new recruits. You do not need to address them, just simply stand by myside.” <br/>
      “Understood.”</p>
<p><br/>
Hidden in the shadows, I watch my friends and cadets. Exhausted with solem looks embedded into their faces.<br/>
       Bodies of our fallen burn casting a dull light across all. My mind goes straight to Marco, his smile, the way he tolerated Jean and I’s pitiful arguments, how he always knew the right thing to say.<br/>
      Erwin addresses the crowd asking those who do not wish to join the Survey Corps to leave. I look over at Jean and he appears to be having an inner crisis. I fight the urge to leave my spot and be by his side.<br/>
      People turn and walk away, people who don’t want to fight for humanity like I do. Those who want to live in comfort and bliss. Oh, how sweet would it be not to know the pain and suffering.<br/>
      People’s faces stick through the mass of movement, those who have chosen to stay. Connie, Sasha, Ymir, Krista, Reiner, Bertholdt, Mikasa, Armin, and Jean. They all remain behind, regret on their faces yet they don’t leave like the rest.<br/>
      A smile comes to my face as I rest my eyes on Jean. Who would’ve thought that he’d stay and fight with us. All those arguments he had with Eren and I about the Survey Corps being a suicide mission.<br/>
     Once we are left with those who have chosen, Erwin motions for me to come out. I step into the light and stand next to him, my fist over my heart. A few shocked gasps ring around the group but my eyes don’t leave Jean. He’s gobsmacked as I stand before him. <br/>
     Erwin makes one of his speeches and I stand by his side in silence until he is done. He dismisses the crowd and many move off to sleep the terror off.<br/>
      I run over to Jean. “I thought the military police was for you?”<br/>
      He shrugs. “I changed my mind last minute.” He says. “I thought the worst when I didn’t see you here though."<br/>
      “I wanted to be out there with you all but Erwin wanted me by his side.”<br/>
      Jean gives me a funny look. “How do you know the commander?”<br/>
      “He’s kind of like my adoptive dad, him and Captain Levi found me when I was younger. They helped raise me.”<br/>
      “What?!” He shouts.<br/>
      I slap my hand over his mouth. “Be quiet for a minute. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want anyone thinking I have some kind of privilege.”<br/>
      He nods and pulls my hand away from his mouth. “That’s crazy but I don’t think that way about you. I’m sure none of our friends would.”<br/>
      “I’m sure they wouldn’t, it was just something I wanted to keep quiet during training. I have been using 3D maneuver gear since I was 9.”<br/>
       “Explains why you picked it up so easily but your hand to hand combat is terrible.” He laughs.<br/>
       I punch his arm softly. “Hey, you aren’t that great either. Eren really got you the other night.”<br/>
      A dark look appears in his eyes. “I know… crazy how he can turn into a titan.”<br/>
      “To be honest, it kind of slipped my mind that he turned into a titan. I just can’t seem to forget about Marco. It just doesn’t sit right with me.”<br/>
      “He has been on my mind as well. Looking at those bodies burning earlier, I just-” His voice stops and he looks at the ground. “I should be going to bed, see if I can sleep this off.”<br/>
      “I probably won’t sleep well tonight so if you need me, I’m two doors down from Levi’s room. Plus my name is on the door.”<br/>
       He gives me a half smile. “Thanks, I will keep that in mind. Good night (y/n).”<br/>
      “Night Jean.”<br/>
      He turns and walks away from me. I’m left alone beside the burning fire. My eyes feel heavy but not from lack of sleep.<br/>
      Levi walks up beside me, he looks as shit as I feel. He has his arms crossed over his chest as he stares into the fire.<br/>
      “I heard about your friend Marco,” he says quietly.<br/>
      “Jean was the one who found him.”<br/>
      He looks at me from the corner of his eye. “It doesn’t get easier. Erwin and I sheltered you from that. That was a mistake.”<br/>
      I shake my head and look back at him. “It wouldn’t have made this any easier. I don’t want to look at my friends like death sentences but now I don’t know how I won’t.”<br/>
      “You will figure it out, now go to bed. You need the rest, I have Eren to go deal with.”<br/>
      I laugh a little. “Poor guy doesn’t know what’s coming his way with you.” With that I walk back towards the barracks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The third hour passes by and I haven’t moved since lying down. All I can do is look blankly at the ceiling of my room and let the tears roll down the sides of my face. I thought by now the sadness and exhaustion would have put me to sleep. But no matter how heavy and sore my eyes are, they just won't close.<br/>     The emptiness in my soul moves and I roll onto my side, tracing the pattern on my pillow over and over until it’s ingrained in my mind. I could never imagine Erwin or Levi ever feeling or being like this. They always seem so calm and steady.<br/>     A commotion outside my door makes me sit up a little. I can hear voices on the other side of my door. One of the voices belongs to Levi and he does not sound pleased.<br/>     Rising from my bed, I move over to the door. My whole body feels heavy and it is almost tiresore moving like this. Cracking open the door a little to look out into the hallway, I find Levi with a cornered Jean. Both of their eyes snap in my direction, I probably look like a sorry sight.<br/>     “What’s happening here?” I ask, my voice raspy.<br/>     Levi doesn’t back away from Jean who looks terrified. “I found him sneaking down the hallway, he was about to knock on your door.” <br/>     I roll my eyes. “I told him he could come see me if he was having trouble sleeping. Marco was his friend as well.”<br/>     Levi moves away, displeased with my excuse. “Don’t keep her up. She needs to sleep.” He warns.<br/>     Jean nods. “Yes, Captain Levi.”<br/>     Levi returns to his room and Jean darts into my room. I close the door and return to my spot on the bed. Jean sits on the floor across from me.<br/>     “Couldn’t sleep?” I ask.<br/>     “I fell asleep but kept having nightmares. You?”<br/>     “I’ve been staring at the ceiling with no luck.”<br/>     “You know, he would've had something to say about us both being this way.” Jean comments.<br/>     Tears brim my eyes but I smile. “Probably joke that this is the first time we aren’t arguing about something stupid.”<br/>     He cracks a small laugh and leans his head against the dresser. “He always knew what to say. I think he is part of the reason why I joined the Survey Corps.”<br/>     “It wasn’t the appeal of being on death’s front door step everytime we go outside the wall?”<br/>     “No, actually I think it is that and having to spend time with Jaeger pretty much every day.”<br/>     “I knew it!” I exclaim a little too loudly making Jean jump.<br/>     “You’re really something else, you know that right?” He says with a grin.<br/>     “I am reminded everyday by Levi but it’s nice to hear it from you as well.” A yawn escapes.<br/>     Jean gets to his feet. “I’ll leave you to it.”<br/>     I motion for him to sit back down as another yawn over takes me. “Sit down, I’m enjoying your company for once.”<br/>     “You must be because that’s the second time you have yawned.” He comes to sit on the end of the bed leaning up against the wall. “Close your eyes, I’ll leave when you actually fall asleep.”<br/>     My eyes start to close. “I bet you will fall asleep before I do.”<br/>     “Says the girl who has her eyes shut already.”<br/>      “Arguing over stupid shit again.” I laugh softly.<br/>      “Go to sleep already.”</p>
<p><br/>A loud thumping noise comes from my door making me sit straight up. Jean is no longer here and the sun is starting to rise for the day. I wipe the sleep from my puffy eyes.<br/>     Levi swings the door open and scans the room with a glare before finally stopping on me. “So you actually got to sleep last night?”<br/>     “And I would’ve kept sleeping if you hadn’t woken me up.”<br/>     “Get dressed, we are going to Eren’s hearing.”<br/>     “Do I have to go or are you punishing me for something I’ve done?” I ask as I drag my body from the bed.<br/>     “Both, now hurry up. I can’t be late.”<br/>     I groan as he leaves. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve this punishment, maybe it was something to do with Jean but who knows. I pull on my uniform and met with Levi outside.<br/>      “You look like shit.” He comments as we start to walk towards the court.<br/>     A yawn escapes me. “Thank you, I call it lack of sleep and grief.” I answer back.<br/>    I manage to stay awake during Eren’s hearing, thanks to Armin. Levi manages to prove that he isn’t a threat in the most Levi way possible. I shiver at the experience and think back when he used to train me.<br/>  <br/>    <em>I stand panting, holding my ribs glaring at Levi who can barely look at me. I wipe blood away from my nose.</em><br/><em>     “You’re not listening to what I’m saying.” </em><br/><em>    “I’ve never fought in my life, what do you expect from me? I wasn’t raised like a criminal unlike you.”</em><br/><em>     His head snaps in my direction. I’ve hit a nerve. His eyes bore holes in me as he grabs me by the front of my shirt. “What did you say, you little brat?”</em><br/><em>     “I’m not a criminal like you.” I spit at him with a smile.</em></p>
<p><br/>Armin elbows me in the side making me jump a little. Everyone has started to leave, Eren kneels broken and bloody. Levi has saved his ass.<br/>    Outside Levi approaches me. “I need to go and deal with the brat. Hanji wants to do some field training with you and some of the other shit heads. Please show up to that.”<br/>   “Of course, anything for Hanji.”<br/>    He sighs. “The only person you actually listen to and she is just as mad as you.” He mutters before walking away.<br/>    I jog back to the barracks and bump into Jean. When I say bump, I mean I wasn’t watching where I was going and ran straight into him. And like most of the tall people I take on, I just bounce right off him.<br/>    “Morning Jean.” I say rubbing my forehead.<br/>     He gives me a meek look before responding. “Morning, how did you sleep last night?”   <br/>    “Good, thanks to you. Who knows how long I would have stayed awake for if you hadn’t shown up.”<br/>    “Anytime, are you going to that field training?”<br/>    “Sure am but to be honest I wish I could go back to bed. Get a couple more hours of sleep. I really don’t have the concentration for this.”<br/>    “That makes two of us.” Jean says as we make our way to the back of the barracks. “You know you talk in your sleep.”<br/>    “Not that I was aware of. I don’t generally fall asleep in the company of others. Did I say something last night?”<br/>     Jean shakes his head. “Not really, just gibberish. A couple of audible words.”<br/>     “As long as I didn’t say anything embarrassing, you’d tell me right if I did?”<br/>     “Nothing embarrassing left that mouth of yours, trust me.” Jean smirks to himself. "Or I could be saving it for a rainy day."<br/>     "You're lying, Kirstein."<br/>     "You wish."<br/>     I take a swipe at him and miss. He laughs and runs off ahead of me. I groan and chase after him.<br/>     "You're going to get it when I catch up to you."<br/>     "You mean if you catch me."</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Hanji has a grin plastered on her face when we all arrive. As much as I admire the woman, she sometimes frightened me. There is a glint in her eyes meaning trouble as no one knows it apart from me.</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>      “Glad you could make it (y/n).” She cheers wrapping an arm around my shoulders stopping me from catching Jean. “Let’s put these new ones to the test.”</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>      A grin grows on my face as I wiggle my eyebrows at Jean.  “They don’t even know what’s coming their way.”</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>      She moves away from me, clapping her hands together. A couple of people jump at the noise, Jean shoots me a look of concern and I just wink at him.</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>      “Are you all ready?”</strong>
  <br/>
  <strong>      No one answers, this will only add to her crazy fuel. I learnt that one the hard way.</strong>
</p>
<p> <em> “Do you like titans, little one?” Hanji asks.</em><br/><em>      I look from her over to Erwin who is ignoring our conversation and is speaking with Levi. I only just stepped foot back into safety now this crazy lady is asking me if I like titans. She laughs a little at my silence making me jump. There is nowhere for me to go. </em><br/><em>     Hanji lurches forward and grabs my hands with great force. Her eyes glint with mischief. “I think we are going to be great friends.”</em></p>
<p>     <strong>“That’s the spirit!” She yells. “We are going to be training with 3D maneuver gear. I know you went through this as cadets but as Survey Corps members we have to keep on top of our game.” </strong><br/><strong>     She pats me hard on the back making me cough. “(y/n) here will be showing us how it's done.”</strong><br/><strong>     I shoot her a look. “I really thought I wouldn’t be doing anything.” I groan as I walk over to the edge of the forest.</strong><br/><strong>     “(y/n) here has been using this equipment since she was 9 years old. Well advanced by the time she came under our care, better than most of our own.” Hanji announces.</strong><br/><strong>     I take a deep breath in and exhale loudly. “Way to put on the pressure.” I call back at her.</strong><br/><strong>     The grappling hooks fire into a nearby tree and I’m gracefully pulled from my spot on the ground. Swinging through the trees dodging branches as I’m pulled through the air. </strong><br/><strong>     “Anyone of us can do that.” Reiner taunts from the edge of the tree line, his arms crossed over his chest.</strong><br/><strong>     I drop down, hanging so I’m face to face with him. “Fine then. If someone can catch me, I’ll take cleaning duties from that person for the next month.”</strong><br/><strong>     Reiner chuckles. “Easy.” He says getting ready.</strong><br/><strong>     “Prove it. C'mon guys, I can’t be that hard to catch.” I taunt back before launching myself back into the trees.</strong><br/><strong>     Everyone chases after me, I drop and rise as people fly past me. A few choice words slip from their mouths as I glide in opposite directions. I land on a branch as Sasha and Jean come at me. Throwing my weight back, I flip down before swinging to safety. </strong><br/><strong>     This carries on for a good half hour before most are out of breath or simply have given up. Only one remains, Jean. We stand on different ends of a tree branch facing one another.</strong><br/><strong>     “A whole month of doing your cleaning duties for you.”</strong><br/><strong>     His eyes narrow in on me. “You’re fast.”</strong><br/><strong>     I shrug. “Not really, I just know how to avoid incoming advances. Everything I know, I learnt from surviving. Fast doesn’t stop a titan from grabbing you.”</strong><br/><strong>    “Hurry up and get her Jean.” Connie calls from below.</strong><br/><strong>    “She is standing less than 3 metres from you.” someone else shouts.</strong><br/><strong>     Jean laughs and readys his stance. “I hope you like cleaning.”</strong><br/><strong>    “Bring it on.” I drop off the branch.</strong><br/><strong>    Jean chases me through the trees. He doesn’t make any move to catch me, he’s just following after me. I turn mid swing and back track towards him. Out of the corner of my eye, I watch one of his grappling hooks overlap mine. He suddenly moves in the opposite direction and the wires pull.</strong><br/><strong>    “Idiot.” I whisper before being ripped backwards towards him.</strong><br/><strong>    Our bodies clash into each other in a tangle of wires. His body pressed hard up against mine. </strong><br/><strong>    “Looks like you’re taking my cleaning duties.” He says out of breath.</strong><br/><strong>    I shake my head. “You could have caused both of us some serious damage. But fair is fair.”</strong><br/><strong>    The group below cheers even Hanji. I can’t help but laugh. This is not what I expected but it worked as stupid as it was. I look up at Jean’s face and realise he is staring down at me with a smile. My flushes and I feel a little light headed. The heart in my chest starts beating a little too loudy and I hope he can’t hear it.</strong><br/><strong>    Hanji launches herself up to us. “That was pretty impressive, Kirstein. This one didn’t even see it coming.”</strong><br/><strong>    Jean clears his throat looking away from me. “Just used her own equipment and methods against her.”</strong><br/><strong>   “I’m glad titans don’t fly around on these.” I deadpan. “So are you going to cut us down?”</strong><br/><strong>   “Jean, you’re going to have to hold onto (y/n). Her gear is too damaged for her to use.” Hanji explains.</strong><br/><strong>   “Sure,” he says, wiggling his arms around my waist and holding me closer which I didn’t even know was possible at this stage. </strong><br/><strong>    Hanji unclips me from my gear and it crashes to the ground below. Jean tightens his grip on me. She makes fast work of the wires, leaving Jean and I now hanging freely. He slowly lowers us until our feet touch solid ground. </strong><br/><strong>   “That was fun, now for training.” Hanji calls. “Kirstein, you are dismissed. You showed some excellent work with the gear.”</strong><br/><strong>   “Thank you.” he says as he starts checking over his gear.</strong><br/><strong>    The rest of the group groans as they take off into the trees. I find a shady spot and plonk myself down in it. That really took whatever energy I had for today and absolutely obliterated it. </strong><br/><strong>    Hanji quickly jogs over to me. “Maybe Jean can help you with some hand to hand combat.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.</strong><br/><strong>    “Don’t start with that shit, we are just friends.” I warn.</strong><br/><strong>    “For now.” She spins on her heel. “Actually Kirstein. This one needs to improve on her hand to hand combat, I think you can show her a couple of things.”</strong><br/><strong>    His face drops. “Oh, I, sure. I’m not that great at it either.”</strong><br/><strong>    She claps him on the back. “That’s fine, practice makes perfect. Have fun you two.” She says before going after the rest of the group.</strong><br/><strong>    I sigh and get to my feet. “I’m not in the mood for this.”</strong><br/><strong>    He places a hand on his hip. “I just used all my energy chasing after you, how do you think I’m going?”</strong><br/><strong>    “As long as it looks like we are doing something, she shouldn’t come back and bother us.”</strong><br/><strong>    “Great idea,” he slips his foot back as though he is getting ready.</strong><br/><strong>    I follow suit and hold up my fists. We start throwing lazy punches that are nowhere near each other. Every few punches we shuffle in opposite directions. I even throw in the odd kick. </strong><br/><strong>    “I can’t even imagine what we look like close up doing this.” I laugh.</strong><br/><strong>    “Ridiculous.” A voice comes from behind us.</strong><br/><strong>    My head snaps around to find Levi glaring at me. Now, we’re in shit. I drop my fists and Jean straightens his posture up.</strong><br/><strong>    “We were just practising-”</strong><br/><strong>    “Cut the crap. Move aside, Kirstein.” Levi snaps as he moves in front of me. “You’re never going to improve if you get fucking around every chance you get.”</strong><br/><strong>    I hold up my fists. “I was just taking a break. You know the last couple of days have been a little hard on me personally.”</strong><br/><strong>    He snorts. “Welcome to life. It’s been hard on everyone. You’re not the only one suffering.”</strong><br/><strong>    Levi charges at me and I manage to dodge him but he swiftly turns, kicking my legs out from underneath me. I crash to the ground. </strong><br/><strong>    “I know that! How dare you even say that.” I spit as I pick myself off the ground. “I have been raised as a soldier since the day you all found me. I would like one moment to be able to feel like I’m a teenager.”</strong><br/><strong>    He charges at me again, this time I bring my leg round and connect it with his thigh. This only knocks him a little. He kicks back, landing a hard kick straight into my stomach. Stumbling backwards, coughing, I glare up at him.</strong><br/><strong>    “Don’t mess around when you’re meant to be training. It shows a lack of control. Do you think we want people like that outside the wall with us? That’s what gets people killed.”</strong><br/><strong>    “You’ve seen me in action, not for a second do I hesitate to follow orders and put everything I’ve learnt into play.” I grit my teeth. “But no, that doesn’t matter. You want me to be like that all the time. Just like you.” I spit blood out.</strong><br/><strong>    He throws a punch and it grazes my cheek. I bring my elbow back and up into his jaw. He stumbles but bounces back. He grabs me by the front of the shirt bringing us face to face.</strong><br/><strong>    “A little enthusiasm is all it takes.” He shoves me backwards.</strong><br/><strong>    I trip and slice my arm on my own blade. My vision instantly goes black…</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heat engulfs my body, holding me close. It's like a warm blanket on a winter's night. A voice floods into my mind and I feel my eyes drift open a little. The voice comes again, it sounds like someone is calling my name. But they sound so far away.<br/>     I’m suddenly ripped from my mind and the warmth. Cold air brings me back to reality. I frantically look around me and find Levi with his arms under mine pulling me upwards. Half of my body is hanging out of a titan.<br/>     “What’s happening?” I shout trying to free myself.<br/>     “Calm down.” Levi snaps as he frees my legs.<br/>     I try to stand but collapse, my body exhausted. Jean rushes to my side and helps me down from the titan I was just pulled out of.<br/>     “You need to calm down. Everything is okay.” Jean says.<br/>     I cling onto his shirt and notice it has been ripped. “What happened? Did this thing do that to you?” I say looking up at the titans face. "Did I do this to you?" <br/>     Large canines in place of teeth and razor sharp nails. It's easily 15 metres tall. <br/>     “I’m fine. It was an accident, no one was hurt.” Jean tries to soothe me.<br/>     Levi pulls me away from Jean and brings his face up to mine holding my by the front of my shirt. “When were you going to tell us?”<br/>     My eyes narrow and the shock vanishes from my body. “I didn’t even know myself. This is a pretty huge thing, something I couldn’t have hid from any of you. Even if I had wanted to.”<br/>     “Two titan shifters in two days. You Survey Corps guys are really dodgy.” A voice comes from behind Levi.<br/>     His eyes narrow and he gently drops his hold on me. “Let me handle this.” He says before turning around.<br/>     A squad of military police stand before us. Some of them look frightened and that they should. Jean moves to my side and I give him a grateful smile.<br/>     “Why are you pests hanging around?” Levi asks.<br/>     The leader sneers. “We saw some suspicious activity and came to check it out. Good thing we did. We will be taking her off your hands now.”<br/>     They move towards me and I tense up trying to defend myself. Jean puts a protective arm around me. Levi takes a step to the side blocking their view from me.<br/>     “She is a Survey Corps member and we will deal with her as we see fit. I have proven the Jaeger boy is not a threat and she will be the same.”<br/>     He gives off a sarcastic laugh. “You cannot control both of them, especially the girl. She has a reputation of being unpredictable and dangerous.”<br/>     I move away from Jean, he gives me a concerned look. “It’s fine.” I whisper to him before stumbling to Levi’s side. “Crazy to think, that if I had been evacuated with the rest of the people in Shiganshina District when the colossal titan broke the wall I wouldn’t be like this. It’s just an example where the military police once again failed to do their jobs correctly.”<br/>     The man's face turns red. “Your commander really has a bad habit of taking in crude criminals, between Levi and yourself.”<br/>     “If you’re done here, we have other matters of importance to attend to.” Levi says turning his back on them. <br/>     “I will be reporting this.” He threatens before leaving.<br/>     Levi turns his attention back to me. “We need to get you back to the barracks and to Erwin immediately.”<br/>     I nod and Jean comes to my aid to help me walk. We rush me into Erwin’s office who seems to have already heard the news.<br/>     “They are going to be wanting another trial, probably similar to Eren’s.” He says standing from his desk. “For the meantime, we may have to keep you in the cells.”<br/>     “I think that’s wise. I don’t even know what I’m capable of doing.”<br/>     Jean shakes his head. “She’s harmless.”<br/>     I place a hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. Trust us.”<br/>     His face softens and he sighs. “I don’t like any of this by the way.”<br/>     “It’s just a procedure and the best way of keeping her safe and out of the wrong hands. If we can get Eren out of it, it should be a walk in the park for (y/n).” Erwin assures him.<br/>     Hanji marches in and loops an arm around my shoulders. “I get to hang out with you until everything is sorted.”<br/>     “Good, I thought for a moment you were all going to abandon me down there.” I laugh.<br/>     “Can I go with her?” Jean asks.<br/>     Levi steps in this time. “No, we need you with the rest Kirstein. She will be fine. You’re dismissed.”<br/>     Jean nods with a sad look in his eyes. “Yes, Captain Levi.” He leaves the room.<br/>    My eyes move to Levi once Jean is out of the room. “You don’t have to be so mean to him. He is just looking out for me.”<br/>    ‘Tch, he’s a teenage boy. I wouldn’t hold him to a high standard.”<br/>    “Whatever, let's go Hanji. I think I would much prefer to sit in a cold dark cell than listen to Levi a moment longer.” I walk out with Hanji right behind me.</p>
<p>Chained up to a bed in a cell, Hanji and I stare at each other. <br/>    “How long do you think I will have to stay down here?” I ask.<br/>    She shrugs. “Who knows but hopefully not too long. I don’t like seeing you like this. Jean was right, you were very harmless apart from a small matter.”<br/>    I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean by that? What actually happened? I don’t seem to remember a thing.”<br/>    She drags a seat over and makes herself at home. “I had been watching Levi and you fight when it happened. It happened all so fast, one moment you were on the ground, next a 15 metre titan was in your place.”<br/>    “I remember cutting my arm, do you think that’s what triggered it?”<br/>    “It’s hard to say but most likely. Something we can test later on. So, I came rushing over because Jean and Levi didn’t have their gear on and we know what happened with Eren the first time. By the time I got over to you, you were holding Jean in the palm of your hand. Not squeezing him or showing any kind of aggression.”<br/>    “So I picked him up like a toy?”<br/>     She laughs. “Pretty much, he was terrified to say the least. Especially when you brought him right up to your face. You saw your form, I wouldn’t want to be too close to those teeth of yours. Anyway, Jean was trying to talk to you, plead with you even to put him down. That didn’t work but you were able to mumble his name.”<br/>     “I said Jean’s name while I was a titan? I didn’t even know they had proper vocal chords for that.”<br/>     “Honestly, you are going to be a great test subject. We are going to learn so much from Eren and you,”<br/>     I cringe a little. “I don’t like the sound of that coming from you. Back to the story.”<br/>     “Ah, yes sorry. I got carried away. Everything was going fine, Jean seemed in no immediate danger from you. Though Levi moved a little too close and you instantly protected Jean. That resulted in you tearing his shirt with one of your claws but he was fine. You then proceeded to bare your teeth and growl at Levi.”<br/>    “I’m guessing that thing with Levi was the small matter you mentioned.”<br/>    She nods. “It was, while you protected Jean you were technically a threat to Levi. But that’s going to stay between us. I’ll talk to Jean about it later.”<br/>    A yawn escapes me. “Can he come and see me later? I think he is a little worried about me.”<br/>    Hanji's smile grows. “And, you told me you guys were just friends.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me.<br/>    “We are just friends. I would like to see my friend and apologise for any trauma I may have caused him.”<br/>    She waves me off. “Whatever you say. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Even in Titan form you were drawn to him.”<br/>    I roll my eyes before lying down. “I’m not having this conversation with you anymore. Wake me when something important happens.”<br/>    "Okay but I will be carrying this on later." She laughs. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once again I find myself back in the courtroom but I’m the center of attention this time. Levi and Hanji stand firmly on either side of me as I kneel cuffed in front of the judge. Like these flimsy metal shackles would really stop me if I was to shift.</p>
<p> As though Levi is reading my mind, he shoots death glare down at me and I look at the floor.</p>
<p>  “(Y/n) has never shifted previously before this occasion. She has been consistently under our care since she was taken in at 9 years old.” He pleads my case.</p>
<p>  The judge hums. “(L/n) have you previously shifted before coming into the care of the Survey Corps?”</p>
<p>  I raise my head. “No, your honour. Until yesterday I was unaware of my ability to do so.”</p>
<p>  The judge turns his gaze back to Levi. “And I only assume she will be under your supervision like Mr Jaeger.”</p>
<p>  “Her supervision will be shared between Squad Leader Hanji and myself.”</p>
<p>   The room is silent and I can feel my heart hammering away in my chest. Will Levi have to beat me like what he did to Eren just to prove a point? I close my eyes and drop my head. Why did this have to happen to me? I’m perfectly happy being a normal human being with no titan shifting powers. </p>
<p>  “I grant that miss (L/N) be released back to normal duties and is to remain under the close supervision of Levi and Hanji.”</p>
<p>  My head shoots up and a smile grows on my face. Hanji nudges me a little and winks.  A couple of gasps rise through the court and I can feel the Military Police staring at me. They are really going to be on our cases now.</p>
<p>  “You are all dismissed.” The judge says before vanishing.</p>
<p>  A military police officer comes forward and uncuffs me. A look of pure disgust crosses his face. “You titan shifters will be the end of humanity. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts.” He spits.</p>
<p>  I go to open my mouth when Levi and Hanji both step in. “Did you want to repeat that, pig?” Levi threatens.</p>
<p>  “Last time I checked you Military bitches didn’t even lift a finger for humanity. You just hide away behind the safety of the walls.” Hanji says.</p>
<p>  I stand rubbing at my wrists. “And, like we have all witnessed the wall doesn’t seem to keep the titans out.”</p>
<p>  The guy backs off knowing he is not going to challenge us all. Erwin joins us and gives me one of his proud smiles.</p>
<p>  “This has certainly been a huge change of events. I think we will get far with Eren and you on humanity's side.”</p>
<p>  “I can’t wait to rip titans limb from limb.” I admit.</p>
<p>  Levi sighs. “You’re starting to sound a lot like Eren, I don’t need another one of him running around.”</p>
<p>  We laugh but Levi gives me a serious look. “Lighten up, Captain.” I push my luck.</p>
<p>  He shakes his head. “I have cleaning duties to hand out.” He pauses. “Jean reminded me that you said you’d take his cleaning for the next month.”</p>
<p>  I groan. “I forgot all about that.”</p>
<p>  “Serves you right for being cocky.” Levi says before walking off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jean is sitting in the dining hall with the rest of our friends. Relief washes over his face as he sees me.</p>
<p>  “How’d it go?” he asks, making space for me beside him.</p>
<p>  “I’m now under the close supervision of Levi and Hanji. Apart from that, I’m able to return to my normal duties.”</p>
<p>  “Why the Captain and a squad leader?” Connie asks.</p>
<p>  I shrug. “Erwin probably thought I would have a better chance if I had two people watching over me. Whatever the case it worked and it’s not like Levi isn’t constantly keeping an eye on me anyway.”</p>
<p>  “Is that why Jean got caught trying to sneak into your room the other night?” Reiner laughs.</p>
<p>  “He has ears on him like a hawk. I could never sneak out during the night as a kid and even when I did he would follow me.”</p>
<p>  “Wait!” Eren says. “Why was Jean going into your room at night?”</p>
<p>  Jean clears his throat, his face is bright red. “She said if I couldn’t sleep to come hang out with her.”</p>
<p>  The group erupts in laughter and Jean goes even redder. A look of frustration grows on his face.</p>
<p>  “That’s not what he meant.” I say trying to defend him.</p>
<p>  “Sure.” Reiner laughs.</p>
<p>  Jean snaps and grabs Eren from across the table by the shirt. Here they go again. They have been at each other's throats since day one. </p>
<p>  “What are you laughing at me, titan boy?” Jean yells.</p>
<p>  “I barely said anything, horseface.” Eren snaps back. “You should be going after Reiner.”</p>
<p>  Reiner holds his hands up. “I’m not the one that went into (y/n) room late at night.” He chuckles.</p>
<p>  This only fuels Eren and Jeans anger for one another. Jean throws Eren across the table, Eren jumps back up and they start going at each other. I turn back round and start eating off Jean’s plate along with Sasha. Connie looks between us and shakes his head.</p>
<p>  “You two really know how to make good from a bad situation.” He comments.</p>
<p>  “Is anyone going to stop them?” Armin asks.</p>
<p>  I shake my head. “I find it’s best to let them exhaust themselves plus Eren was right he barely said anything. It was Reiner here who started it.”</p>
<p>  Reiner laughs. “It’s just too easy to wind those two up.”</p>
<p>  “Did you hear that horseface? (y/n) agreed with me.” Eren laughs from behind me.</p>
<p>  “What? Really (y/n).” Jeans calls out to me. “I thought we were friends?”</p>
<p>  I sigh and push Jean’s plate over to Sasha, who’s eyes light up. I get up from the table and face the boys. They pause mid fight, Jean has Eren by the front of his shirt with his first pulled back while Eren has his hand over Jean’s face.</p>
<p>  “Stop finding lame excuses to beat Eren up. Levi is going to be doing plenty of that. And to both of us, if you two don’t cut it out now.”</p>
<p>  They both drop their hands and step back from one another. I place a hand on my hip, feeling proud with myself.</p>
<p>  “That’s the first time you’ve both listened to me.”</p>
<p>  Jean crosses his arms over his chest and shoots a dirty look at Eren. “You have a good point about the Captain.”</p>
<p>  “Suck up,” Eren comments.</p>
<p>  Next thing I know Jean has a hold of Eren again and they are going for it. I jump in and try to pry them apart.</p>
<p>  Levi walks in and irritation is written all over his face and I curse myself for even getting involved in this. </p>
<p>  “Why am I not surprised to find you three like this?”</p>
<p>  Everyone else in the dining hall gaps it before they are dragged into whatever punishment awaits us.</p>
<p>  “I’d like to say I can explain but at this stage there is no point.” I say still keeping distance between the guys.</p>
<p>  “Jaeger and you are meant to be keeping a low profile not picking fights.” Levi snaps. “The last thing we need is one of you going titan in the dining hall.”</p>
<p>  Eren drops his hands allowing for me to step back. “Sorry, Captain Levi.”</p>
<p>  “Now, you two have training early tomorrow morning so piss off and go to sleep. As for you, Kirstein you will be cleaning with the rest of the brats who were in here tonight.”</p>
<p>  “Yes sir. Remember (y/n) is taking my cleaning for the month.” Jean reminds him.</p>
<p>  Levi turns his back to us. “I did not forget. She will be joining you in the afternoon along with Jaeger to serve out your punishment.”</p>
<p>  Levi leaves and Eren and I groan. I rub my temples and give them both a look of irritation.</p>
<p>  “Just one day, one day where you two don’t try to kill each other.” I plead.</p>
<p>  “It could have been much worse.” Jean says.</p>
<p>  Eren snorts. “We don’t know what we will be cleaning tomorrow.” He grumbles before leaving.</p>
<p>  I poke a finger into Jean’s chest. “No more fighting with him. As much as I don’t mind cleaning with you, it’s not how I would choose to spend my free afternoons with you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hanji and I stand facing each other in a clearing in the middle of nowhere. Her team on standby. This was getting a tad ridiculous. She had dragged me from my peaceful slumber before the sun had risen to get some study in.<br/> 	“Can I shift now?” I ask.<br/> 	She hums to herself as she inspects my face like she hasn’t seen it a thousand times before. Her team takes constant notes about every moment I make. <br/> 	I sigh and move away from her. “I’m going back to bed,” I grumble.<br/> 	She grabs me by the shoulder stopping me in my place. “I haven’t finished yet.”<br/> 	“I wasn’t even sure you had started. You keep staring at me and it’s making me feel like some kind of freak. I bet Levi isn’t doing this to Eren.”<br/> 	She wags a finger at me. “You will get a chance to shift but I have been analysing your face. I want to compare similarities between your titan and yourself. I didn’t really get a good look at you last time.”<br/> 	“I got a great look last time. Those teeth and claws. I’m surprised no one jumped into save Jean when I grabbed him.”<br/> 	She laughs a little. “I think if anyone had tried to, you would have eaten them.”<br/> 	I sigh. “Can you hurry this up? I thought you were going to be quick about this so I could have a break before Levi makes me clean for the rest of the afternoon.”<br/> 	“This was never going to be a walk in the park (y/n). You have some serious abilities we need to talk about.”<br/> 	“I know but do you really think I can be any help to humanity?”<br/> 	“You alone have more skill and determination than any of those new ones. Even when you were younger, we all saw that in you.”<br/> 	“I wish you hadn’t to be honest. I wished to be a normal kid all my life.”<br/> 	Hanji places a hand on my shoulder. “Levi tried his best to make sure your life was normal. I know he pushed you and trained you but he tried to shelter you away from everything else.”<br/> 	I look at the ground, kicking a stone away from me. “I should be grateful for Erwin and him finding me but I do always wonder what my life would be like if none of this had happened.”<br/> 	“I think you would have turned out very much the same. You came into our lives fighting and you did change us for the best.”<br/> 	I look away from her. “Can we just get this over and done with? I'm not in the mood anymore.”<br/> 	“(y/n),” Eren calls out and him and Levi come to join us.<br/> 	I put on a fake smile. “I thought you were training.”<br/> 	“Captain Levi thought it would be a good idea for us to train together. Something about testing us together.”<br/> 	I shoot a look at Levi before coming back to Eren. “I’m not even surprised that it was even suggested for us.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eren and I face each other in titan form. This is all so strange to me. I feel like I’m in control but there is something deep and dark lurking in me that I know could take over at any moment.<br/> 	Levi calls out something from below but in my mind, I can’t comprehend it. I tilt my head to the side but Eren seems to know what he is on about. <br/> 	Eren moves towards me and I take a step back growling at him. Levi shouts something else out but I still don’t know what he’s on about. <br/> 	A fist is thrown at me and I duck just in time. Eren snaps at me. That instinct deep within snaps back at him as I ready myself. Eren charges at me and I grab him by the throat slamming him into the ground. He slowly gets back on his feet, steam rising from his injured head.<br/>	A tingle comes from my shoulder and I find Levi standing on it pointing at Eren. I can’t make out anything he is saying. I look past him and find our friends advancing on us. <br/> 	A dark look crosses over Levi’s eyes and he yells something at Eren pointing towards our friends. Eren’s titan looks at me but doesn’t move. Levi yells again, this time the titan moves in the direction of our friends.<br/> 	Levi jumps off my shoulder and waits beside Hanji. He motion towards Eren who is heading straight for Jean. I charge after him, quickly gaining speed. I launch myself forward, my jaw latches onto his arm ripping it clean off.<br/> 	Eren brings his other fist round smacking me clean in the face. I spit his arm out and tackle him over slamming him into the ground. <br/> 	Our friends stop a couple hundred metres from us and I look over their faces. Eren struggles underneath my hold and I roar at him.<br/> 	Levi walks around to the side of Eren's head and looks up at me. I grumble at him just as Eren manages to kick me off. I land on my feet and race back towards Eren. He gets to his feet just in time to dodge my fist.<br/> 	Hanji lands on my shoulder and signals for me to stop. I grunt and sit down, her eyes grow wide and a strange sound comes from her. I hold my clawed hand out to her and she jumps on it, no hesitation. Bringing her close to my face, she immediately stares into my face taking mental notes.<br/> 	She taps her blade on my teeth and I naturally open my mouth. Without a delay, she climbs inside. Levi’s face drops and before he can do anything I close my mouth trapping Hanji inside. Our whole team backs up and Eren starts to move towards me.<br/> 	Opening my mouth back up, Hanji springs out back into my hand. Her face full of glee, she points to the nape of her neck meaning my time was up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jean holds onto me as I start to come to, two large titans sit in front of us. One belonging to Eren and the other to me. The steam rolls off them. Eren is just visible to me across the way as Armin and Mikasa help him.<br/> 	Sasha and Connie crouch in front of me, fanning me. I roll my head to the side and groan.<br/> 	“That was pretty badass.” Connie says.<br/> 	“You tore Eren’s arm off like it was nothing.” Sasha grins.<br/> 	I manage to get a small laugh out, Jean pushes the sweaty hair away from my face. I look up into his eyes.<br/> 	“You scared us for a moment then when you closed your mouth on Hanji.” He smiles.<br/> 	“I knew what I was doing.”<br/> 	Hanji comes screaming across from Eren over to us. She practically jumps on me with a huge grin plastered on her face.<br/> 	“That was amazing, I never thought I would get to experience being in a titan’s mouth without being killed."<br/> 	“You’re welcome, I won’t be doing it again.” I yawn as I struggle to sit up.<br/> 	Hanji rips me to my feet and Jean jumps to help stabilize me as I wobble on my feet. She grabs me by the shoulders, shaking me a little.<br/> 	“We need to do this again, we have so much to learn from Eren and you. Take the rest of the day off with him, you two need to rest.”<br/>  	I nod as I put my arm around Jean’s shoulders. Eren hobbles over to us, he looks about as broken as I do right now. Before we can exchange any greetings Levi interrupts.<br/> 	“Not so fast. These three have cleaning duties to attend to before they can rest.”<br/> 	“You have to be kidding, I can barely hold myself up.” I groan.<br/> 	Levi’s eyes narrow. “You should’ve thought of that before deciding the dining hall was a good place to hold a fight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><span><br/></span> <span>Eren is sent off to clean the kitchen by himself while Jean and I are placed in the basement where all the gear and laundry is kept. <br/>  Jean sits me down on the bottom step as he gets all the cleaning gear ready. I stretch my arms out trying to prep myself for the hours of cleaning ahead of me.<br/>  “This really sucks,” I say kicking my foot out and knocking over an empty glass bottle.<br/>  Jean raises an eyebrow at me. “The cleaning part or being stuck here with me.”<br/>  I smile. “Definitely being stuck down here alone with you.”<br/>  He throws me a broom which I catch. “Sorry for getting you dragged into this.”<br/>  I shrug. “It was my fault as well. If I had stayed out of it, I wouldn’t be doing this.” I say getting to my feet.<br/>  “But I mean, if Eren hadn’t opened his stupid mouth we wouldn’t be here.”<br/>  I start sweeping. “Also if you hadn’t dragged him over the table to fight you, we wouldn’t be here.”<br/>  He hip bumps me a little as he walks past. “Don’t make me fight you.”<br/>  “Normally I would insist but I can barely use this broom at the moment so I don’t think I could fight you off.”<br/>  “You can barely fight me off when you are able bodied.” He laughs as he drags out the dirty laundry bags.<br/>  I drop the broom and place my hands on my hips. “I’m not helping you until you apologise for that comment.”<br/>  He chuckles and carries on working. “Suit yourself but I’ll let Captain Levi know that you didn’t do a thing.”<br/>  I gasp. “You wouldn’t?”<br/>  “Oh, I would and you know he would give you more cleaning duties. On top of what you already owe me.”<br/>  “You play a hard game, Kirstein.”<br/>  He picks my broom backup and hands it to me. “The faster we get this done, the sooner you can go relax.”<br/>  “I like the way you think but I’m still not forgiving you for that comment.” I wink at him.<br/><br/> <br/>The smell of food lingers down to the basement and my body aches worse than it has ever done before. Jean sighs leaning his broom against the wall. <br/>  “Can we just call it a night?” I say putting my broom next to his.<br/>  “As much as I would love to say yes, it’s probably best to wait for Captain Levi.”<br/>  I pout. “He’ll keep us down here all night if he wants.”<br/>  Jean moves closer to me and I feel my heart rate pick up immediately. “I wouldn’t mind being stuck down here all night with you.”<br/>  “Oh, um, are you sure?” I get out.<br/>  He looks into my eyes. “I’m sure. Would you mind being stuck down here with me all night?”<br/>  My heart feels as though it is going to burst through my chest. “I-I-” I stutter.<br/>  Jeans face lightens up. “Never thought I’d make you speechless.”<br/>  I smack his arm and go to move away from him, only to find that my ankle is tangled. I trip a little and grab onto the closest thing. Jean. He puts an arm around my waist making sure he has a hold of me.<br/>  “Now, you’re falling for me.”<br/>  “You need to stop. I’m tired, you’re just messing with me now.”<br/>  He takes my face in his hand and tilts it up towards his face. I feel as though I’m about to pass out. His face flushes pink.<br/>  “I’m not messing with you. I’ve just wanted to do this for a long time.” He says before pressing his lips against mine.<br/>  At first, I’m a little caught off guard but as his fingers dig into my waist, I wrap my arms around his neck bringing him in closer to me. We move slightly and the tangled wire around my ankle takes us both down onto the laundry bags. <br/>  Jean hovers above me, his face very red as he looks into my eyes. He places a gentle hand on the side of my face. <br/>  “So how long have you been wanting to do that?” I ask slightly out of breath.<br/>  “Too long.”<br/>  “Marco knew, didn’t he?” I ask.<br/>  He nods. “I told him one night when I realised myself. He was constantly pushing me to say something to you.”<br/>  I play with the collar of his shirt. “You know what’s funny?”<br/>  “What?”<br/>  “He also knew about my feelings for you so that explains why he would always have to rush off to do something leaving us alone.”<br/>  “That tricky bastard.” Jean whispers.<br/>  “What made you decide to finally say something tonight?”<br/>  “Something just clicked inside my head, I was watching you clean and I knew it was the right time.”<br/>  “Because you knew I wouldn’t be able to kick your ass.”<br/>  He shakes his head. “Shut up and kiss me.”<br/>  My arms snake back around his neck and I raise an eyebrow at him. “If you insist.” <br/>  I pull his lips down to meet mine as his hand comes to rest on my waist. A creaking door makes us pause, we don’t move.<br/>  “Captain Levi, Jeans putting the moves on (y/n)!” Reiner calls out.<br/>  Both our heads snap in the direction of the door at the top of the stairs. In seconds Levi is standing glaring down at us. Other faces fill the gaps around him, faces of our friends. I spot Erwin and I all of a sudden want to hide away.<br/>  “I was an idiot to think that you two could be left alone.” Levi says as he walks down the steps.<br/>  “Gross, why Jean of all people?” Eren complains from above.<br/>  Jean jumps off me and I pick myself up. Levi stops a couple of feet away from us as our onlookers watch and wait.<br/>  “We actually did clean, just look around.” I argue.<br/>  Levi raises an eyebrow. “Looks like you were cleaning his face.”<br/>  My mouth falls open and Jean coughs awkwardly from beside me. I can’t even think of anything to say to that. A couple of sniggers come from above but I don’t dare move my eyes away from Levi.<br/>  “Leave them alone, Levi. They are young.” Erwin says.<br/>  Levi sneers. “He will distract her from her training, I know what they are like together without the added extras.”<br/>  Erwin walks down the stairs coming to stand beside Levi, he looks between Jean and I. “I see no fault with either of them, both are good soldiers. Let them have their fun.”<br/>  Levi doesn’t like this and he shakes his head. “I’ll be watching you two.” His eyes move from me to Jean. “I’ll cut you up and feed you to the titans if you hurt her.”<br/>  Jean nods. “I understand, sir.”<br/>  Levi nods, giving me a side glance. “Come speak to me after dinner in my office.”<br/>  “Yes, Captain Levi.” I answer before he walks out of the basement.<br/>  I relax but I can still see Jean is tense in the presence of Erwin. The rest of the crowd vanishes from the doorway.<br/>  “Out of everyone who could have caught us, it had to be Levi.”<br/>  “Well try not to let him catch you two very often. We kind of need everyone fit and ready to fight, not vanishing.” Erwin smiles at Jean. “Dinners ready. I will see you two upstairs.” <br/>  Erwin leaves the basement and I turn to Jean and laugh. He finally relaxes letting out a deep breath.<br/>  “I thought the Captain was going to kill me and then the Commander came down as well.” Jean says closing the gap between us, resting a hand on my waist.<br/>  “I thought they were going to kill me as well. I’m thankful for Erwin being there but I’m not looking forward to having that meeting with Levi after dinner.”<br/>  Jean starts leading me back up the stairs. “He’s going to rip you a new one, lucky you’re a titan shifter. You can just regenerate.”<br/>  I sigh. “I don’t want it to get to that point.”<br/>  Sasha and Connie wave us over and we join them. I can feel Levi’s eyes on me from across the dining hall. I’d hate to know what Jean is feeling at this moment.<br/>  “Reiner called you two out so fast.” Connie laughs.<br/>  I start looking around the dining hall. “Talking about him, where is he? I have a bone to pick with him.”<br/>  “He’s not dumb, he gapped it after he called Levi over.” Sasha explains. “Bertholdt might know where he’s gone though.”<br/>  All four of us turn and look at Bertholdt who is sitting by himself. His eyes grow wide as he realises we are all staring at him. Connie waves him over, he hesitates for a moment before moving across the room. Jean pats the space next to him.<br/>  “Where’s your friend?” I ask.<br/>  The poor guy looks like he's about to pass out. “I have no idea, he left pretty quickly.”<br/>  “That’s okay, we will just keep you hostage until he comes back for you.” I smile.<br/>  “Well, you can’t. You have to go see Levi after this.” Jean reminds me.<br/>  Connie and Sasha’s faces light up.<br/>  “You should have seen his face as he walked back up those stairs.” Connie says.<br/>  “If looks could kill, we’d all be dead. Even Eren moved across the room to avoid him.” Sasha laughs. “You really messed up Jean.”<br/>  “I didn’t know he was going to catch us. Trust me, being on the Captain's bad side is not a part of my plan.”<br/>  “You might be on his bad side but he will never act on it like he’ll do with me. You think it’s going to be bad for you, walk a mile in my shoes.” I sigh. “He’s been on my case since day one. Don’t get me wrong, I love him like a brother but he drives me insane.”</span></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Opening the door to Levi’s office, I find him sitting at his desk with a cup of tea in his hand as he reads over some reports. His eyes slowly move over to me and motions to the seat in front of him.</p><p>  I take a seat and wait for him to say something, anything. He places his cup down and tidies his paperwork before standing.</p><p>  “Did you bring your jacket?” he asks.</p><p>  I give him a look of confusion. “No, was I meant too?”</p><p>  He rolls his eyes and grabs one on his and throws it to me. “Follow me, brat.”</p><p>  I jump to my feet. “Are you going to make me dig my own grave?” I ask.</p><p>  He gives me an unimpressed look as he walks out. I chase after him, matching his pace as we walk out of the Survey Corps barracks. All is silent between us as we walk into the town, windows illuminated with candles as many people start to turn in for the night.</p><p>  “Where are we going?” I question him.</p><p>  “You’ll see.” He says keeping his head focused ahead.</p><p>  I want to complain and groan like I would usually do but I’m already in enough trouble. I do not need to push my luck anymore than I have.</p><p>  “You’re quiet for once.”</p><p>  “It’s the impending fear of what you’re going to do to me.”</p><p>  He stops and looks at me. “I wish I had known that years ago.”</p><p>  I mock laugh at him. “I don’t think I have screwed up this badly to be honest.”</p><p>  He carries on walking. “You haven’t screwed up.”</p><p>  “What? You looked like you were about to murder Jean and I.”</p><p>  A look of satisfaction crosses his face. “We will be discussing that but I need to speak with you regarding another matter.”</p><p>  Levi comes to stop at the top of a building overlooking the city. He sits down and motions for me to sit next to him. We look out over the city in silence for a moment just taking in the view and how peaceful it is.</p><p>  “Why did you bring me here?” I ask, resting my chin on my knee.</p><p>  “I needed to get away from everyone.”</p><p>  “So you decided to hang out with me? I thought I would be the last person you’d want to spend time with.”</p><p>  “You’re the most human out of all of them. You actually remind me of an old friend I used to have.”</p><p>  “Used to?”</p><p>  “She was killed by a titan when we were forced to join by Erwin, along with another close friend of mine.”</p><p>  I turn my head and look at him. “I’ve never heard you talk about them before.”</p><p>  He looks away from me. “I don’t like discussing this with others. It brings me back too many painful memories.”</p><p> “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m familiar with the pain.”</p><p>  “I only brought them up because you are like family to me like they were.”</p><p>  “Erwin, Hanji and you are family to me and I can’t even comprehend for a moment what it would be like to suddenly not have any of you no longer in my life.”</p><p>  He nods. “And that’s the way I feel about you. I don’t want to see you end up like Isabel and Furlon.”</p><p>  I place my hand on his arm. “I won’t make promises that are out of my control but I will do my best. I will fight.”</p><p>  “That’s the thing, I haven’t been seeing that will and determination much lately. Since Kirstein and you have been dancing around each other.”</p><p>  My eyes drift back to the city. “I know what you mean but Jean and I know that humanity comes first.”</p><p>  “Could you give his life for humanity?”</p><p>  “Could you give my life for humanity? Could you let me die to save it all?” I ask, now looking at him.</p><p>  He looks back at me. “No.”</p><p>  “Then that answers your question. That doesn’t just stand for Jean though, that’s you, Erwin, Hanji, my friends. Well maybe not Reiner after the shit he pulled tonight.”</p><p>  A small almost missable laugh comes from Levi. “That’s on you. You were both in a public area.”</p><p>  “Fair point but he didn’t have to call you over.”</p><p>  Levi gets up, holding his hand down to me. “We all know now so…”</p><p>  I take his hand and he pulls me up. “It was bound to happen sooner or later. There was a lot of sexual tension between us.” I joke.</p><p>  “Don’t ever let me hear those words out of your mouth again or I will use soap on you.” He threatens.</p><p>   I hold my hands up. “Okay, good call. I don’t want to discuss this topic with you anyway, that’s what Hanji is for. Maybe Mike, he’s a good listener.”</p><p>  He shakes his head. “How that Kirstein boy became interested in you, baffles me. You should head back, Hanji has more early morning training for you and the other brat.”</p><p>  “It’s all my charm of course.” I pat him on the shoulder. “Thank you, I think I really needed that chat.”</p><p>  “I would say anytime but I don’t want you getting the wrong idea.”</p><p>  I chuckle. “I will always be around to annoy you, Levi. Trust me.” I wink as I run off back to the barracks.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sasha is sitting outside my room when I return. She leaps from her spot grabbing me by the arm and pulling me down the hallway before I can even ask what’s happening. The next thing I know I’m being shoved into her room wherw Krista, Ymir, and Mikasa sit.<br/>  “What’s going on?” I ask.<br/>  “Why Jean?” Ymir asks bluntly.<br/>  Sasha groans as she throws herself on the bed. “Ymir, we were meant to ease into that question.”<br/>   I lean against the wall with my arms crossed. I raise an eyebrow. “Was I dragged into here just to be questioned about Jean?”<br/>  “Pretty much,” Ymir states. “None of this was my idea, Krista and Sasha are the ones wanting to know.”<br/>  “Where does that leave you Mikasa?” I ask.<br/>  “The boys have done the same to Jean so I thought I would join in with the girls.” She answers. "Also I want to know why as well."<br/>  I turn and head for the door. “I need to sleep since Hanji is calling for another early morning training. I would at least like some sleep.”<br/>  “The old you would’ve.” Sasha grumbles.<br/>  Pausing, looking back over my shoulder at her. “Come again.”<br/>  “The old you would’ve.” Krista pipes up.<br/>  I sigh. They’ve got me now. I shuffle over to the bed and make myself at home. Nothing like a bit of peer pressure. “What do you want to know?”<br/>  “Why Jean?” Ymir asks again.<br/>  “Why not Jean?” I question back.<br/>  “He’s annoying and he kind of looks like a horse.” Ymir says.<br/>  “Blunt and straight to the point.” I yawn. “I don’t think he looks like a horse for starters.”<br/>  “That’s one person.” Ymir laughs. “But honestly what is it?”<br/>  I smile as I think about him. “His smile, the way he hands back whatever I or anyone deals to him, especially Eren. His natural leadership.”<br/>  “Gross.” Ymir comments.<br/>  Krista punches her softly. “Don’t be mean, I think they are cute together. I’ve seen how he looks at her.”<br/>  “With those big eyes when you’re not looking.” Sasha says.<br/>  “I’ve never noticed that before.”<br/>  “He fell hard for you, I remember he was talking to Connie and Marco about it one day.” Sasha says.<br/>  “Marco knew everything and had been trying to set us up. I guess life had other plans for him though…”<br/>  Mikasa places a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure Marco would be happy for you two.”<br/>  I nod and give her a small smile. “I guess in the end, he really did bring us together." I can feel the tears brimming on the edge of my eyes. "I really need to get to bed but this was kind of fun. Something different from training and fighting.”<br/>  I get up and Sasha loops her arm around my shoulders pulling me close to her. “Next time we can raid the kitchen with the boys. How does that sound?”<br/>  I smirk. “I know where the key is.”<br/>  Her eyes glitter. “You’re amazing.”<br/>  I slip away from her. “Thank you and we will have to devise a plan for that. I need to keep the Captains and the commander on their toes. See you guys in the morning.”<br/><br/></p>
<p> <br/>The hallway is pitch black and I have to feel my way back to my room. A hand grabs my arm and I nearly jump out of my skin.<br/>  “Sorry (y/n), it’s Jean.” He whispers to me.<br/>  “Don’t sneak up on me like that. I can’t see anything.” I say looking in the direction his voice is coming from.<br/>  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just wanting to check up on you after your meeting with Levi.”<br/>  “It wasn’t really a meeting, he just had a couple of things on his mind that he wanted to tell me.”<br/>  “So he doesn’t want to kill me?”<br/>  I lace my hand through his and pull him into my room. I quickly light a candle, illuminating the dark. “I wouldn’t hold your breath about that but he isn’t as mad as I had expected him to be. Let's just say that. Erwin must've had a word to him.”<br/>  Jean groans and flops onto my bed, arms spread wide. I crawl up beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. His face turns a little pink as he brings his arm around me.<br/>  “I could get used to this.” He comments.<br/>  “Stay the night then, I don’t mind.”<br/>  He looks down at me. “Are you sure? I tend to sleep in just my underwear.”<br/>  “That’s fine so do I but Levi and Hanji do have a habit of just bursting in here when they need me. No knocking, they just kick the door in.”<br/>  “How do you get any privacy between those two constantly watching you?”<br/>  I shrug. “I guess I don’t. Levi doesn’t to do it often now that I’m older and he never knows what he’s walking in on.” I sit up a little. “But I’m sure he’d drop dead to find a shirtless you in my bed.”<br/>  “I don’t think he’d hesitate to kill me in that moment.”<br/>  I place a kiss on his cheek and get up from the bed. “Let’s hope it's quick.”<br/>  He sits up. “You know how to ease my nerves.”<br/>  “Don’t let him intimidate you. He really is a big softy.”<br/>  “The way he attacked you the other day says otherwise.” He grumbles as he takes his shirt off.<br/><br/></p>
<p><br/>My eyes flutter open a little, Jean is still fast asleep. My head resting on his chest with our legs intertwined. I take in his soft, peaceful breathing as I reach out brushing my hand over his cheek. This doesn’t seem real to me.<br/>  “You two are really fascinating to watch.” Hanji voices comes from behind me.<br/>  I jump, waking Jean up in the process. He immediately grabs onto me holding me close to him.<br/>  “Hanji! Don’t do that again.” I yell at her.<br/>  She adjusts her glasses as Eren appears beside her. He gives Jean a disgusted look.<br/>  “Why the hell is Jaeger here?”Jean says giving Eren the same look back.<br/>  “Why the hell are you in (y/n) bed with no clothes on?” Eren bites back.<br/>  Jean's face flushes bright red and an emotion between rage and utter embarrassment crosses his eyes. "I am wearing clothes, you freak."<br/>  “You two are so cute when you sleep.” Hanji says with a warm smile.<br/>  I roll my eyes and get out of bed. I start to shove both Hanji and Eren out the door. “Look, give me five minutes to get changed and I will be out. We will be discussing this little incident later though.”<br/>  “Aww cmon, there was no harm done yet and I made sure you two were decent before letting Eren in.”<br/>  I close the door in her face and turn back to Jean. “Welcome to my life. You can stay here if you want while I go with Hanji and Eren.”<br/>   He gets up from the bed. “I think I will come along if that’s okay. I don’t think it’s safe for me to stay here alone.”<br/>  “Fair call but you need to hurry up and get changed. Hanji may look forgiving but she really isn’t.”<br/><br/></p>
<p>The wind blows through my hair as we all stand on top of Wall Rose. A group of titans far below claw at the stone longing to get inside. <br/>  “No Levi this morning?” I ask Hanji.<br/>  “Erwin and him have some matters to deal with. But that means we can have more fun while he’s not here.” She claps her hands together.<br/>  “What do you mean by fun?” Eren asks, fear on his face.<br/>  “I want to see how you deal with other titans.”<br/>  Both our faces drop. Jean places a hand on my hip but doesn’t say anything.<br/>  “Is that really a good idea? Who knows what could happen?” I say. <br/>  “My team is on standby if need be.” Hanji motions to them further down the wall from us. “Let’s get this party started.”<br/>  I move away from Jean and stand on the edge of the wall looking down. It seems so far down but I know this wall is nothing compared to the colossal titan. Eren comes to stand beside me, this is all for the good of humanity.<br/>  “Meet you at the bottom, Eren.” With a single step I fall from the wall. <br/>  The air whips around me and I bite into my hand. Nothing happens. My heart starts rapidly pounding in my chest as the ground grows closer. I snap my mouth shut on my hand and a big flash of lightning engulfs me.<br/>  My large titan body crashes into the ground, rising from my spot the other titans have seemed to take interest in me. I glance back up at the top of the wall where Hanji and Jean are only ants. Eren is on the other side of me.<br/>  Without delay I take down the closest titan, tearing it’s head right off. A smaller one takes a chunk out of my leg. Something feral takes over me and I bite the head off. Eren joins in and punches a nearby titan.<br/>  A loud cheer comes from above but I don’t slow down. Ripping titans limb from limb, biting heads and severing napes. A trail of death and destruction. Eren’s gaze turns on me as I crunch down on another head. The body drops from my hands as I move over to him, still chewing on the head. <br/>  Hanji flies down and lands on Eren’s shoulder. I still can’t seem to understand her as she talks with Eren. He nods and sits down. A tickle comes from my shoulder and I see Jean. The head in my mouth rolls out and he gives me a forced smile.<br/>  Suddenly he points ahead as an abnormal titan charges straight for us. Instead of fighting it head on, I lead it away from Hanji and Eren. It’s faster than I am and makes a swipe for Jean. <br/>  My jaws close around it’s arm, cutting it clean off. Spitting it aside, I grab the titan by the head lifting it off the ground. It snaps and claws at me. I give Jean a side glance before wrapping my other hand around its neck and pulling it apart.<br/>  Hanji lands on my other shoulder as I discard the titan. She motions to my neck and I nod sitting down. Jean places a hand on my side of my face before I’m ripped free.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The gate starts to open and the anxiety builds in my stomach. The fear from the others radiate off them as I keep my head focused straight ahead. Under strict orders to follow after Hanji while Eren is to follow Levi.<br/>  The horses race out into the open and I keep pace with Hanji. I want to look back and check on Jean but I know my place. <br/>  I fought with titans just the other day but the thought of being out here as a human with only a blade as a weapon, scares me half to death. Erwin, Hanji and Levi all agreed it would be best for me to avoid shifting if necessary during this mission. Their reasoning was not explained to me and I was in a place to question it.</p>
<p><br/>Sitting on a bed in the infirmary, Levi, Hanji and Erwin stand before me. My missing leg and arm are slowly regenerating. Hanji had had to cut them off in a last ditch attempt to free me from my titan.<br/>  “We are going on an exterior mission in a couple of days.” Erwin announces to me.<br/>  I nod. “And, I am to come along?”<br/>  “You are but only under one condition.”<br/>  “What would that be?”<br/>  “You cannot shift unless you are given the go ahead by Levi or Hanji here. It’s still too much of a greater risk while we are still trying to understand your abilities.”<br/>  My brows furrow in frustration and confusion as I look between Levi and Hanji. Neither one says a thing but there is a look in their eyes that tells me to trust their judgement. I want to fight back and argue why such a stupid descion has been made without my consult first. But I hold my tongue.<br/>  “I understand and will oblige.” I answer looking out the window.</p>
<p>Erwin shouts his commands and we all break away. Within minutes of splitting from the rest, titans start to appear. My jaw clenches and I long to bite down on my hand. <br/>  Red flares paint the sky shortly followed by a green. Hanji points in that direction and we all follow after. <br/>  A large abnormal jumps in between Hanji and me, blocking my view from the rest of the squad. The horse rares throwing me off leaving me in the titans site.<br/>  Getting to my feet, I bring a shaky hand towards my mouth ready to fight. Hanji suddenly cuts through the nape of the titan landing on its back.<br/>  “That was close.” She calls down to me.<br/>  Someone brings a spare horse back around to me. I hate not being in control of this situation. I could shift and easily kill off any advancing titans. I could prevent unnecessary death.<br/>  Catching up beside Hanji, I call out to her. “I don’t know how long I can do this for.”<br/>  She keeps her sights focused ahead. “I need you to follow orders. You’re not alone out here, we have each other's backs.”<br/>  I swallow my pride and fear. “Don’t make me regret this choice.” I answer sharply. <br/>  She spares me a quick glance, her eyes filled with uncertainty.<br/>  We reach the edge of the Forest of Giant Trees where Hanji stops the whole squad. Erwin reaches us and gives me a relieved look before addressing everyone else.<br/>  “We need to hurry to the meeting spot, make sure everything is in place.” He announces. “(y/n) stay back here, others will be joining you soon. We need to keep titans out of the forest.”<br/>  “Yes, Commander.” I answer.<br/>   They advance into the forest, Hanji stops beside me.<br/>  “This is where we leave it up to your judgement. If you feel you need to shift then do so but if we can avoid it, that is the plan. Good luck.” She says before following after the others.<br/>  I fly up into the branches of a nearby tree, overlooking the wide open space. Soldiers flee charging titans. My eyes flick between scouts as I try to see Jean or any of our friends. No one stands out and I can feel my mind wandering, losing control on the situation.<br/>  Levi’s squad emerges from a valley, racing towards the entrance of the forest. He nods to me and I can see the confusion on Eren’s face as they vanish. Someone has forgotten to mention what really is going on here because this was never a part of the plan.<br/>  I tighten all my gear and prepare to take off after them. Something isn’t right and there is no way I’m going to stand by. Loud thunderous steps catch me off guard, a large female titan beelines for the forest. <br/>  Within seconds she passes by me, for a brief moment we share eye contact. Her eyes linger on me, wide and shocked. My body frozen to the spot as I watch her disappear after Levi and Eren.<br/>  Shaking myself free, I go after her. Like hell is that thing getting anywhere near my friends, my family. <br/>  Swinging through the trees, screams and cries for help surround me. The trauma from my childhood and Trost catching up on me, my mind slipping away. I want to stop and cover my ears.</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  “Run (y/n).” My dad yells at me as I watch as Titans grab him and mum.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  “Go! Please.” My mum pleads.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  Shaking, I back up so my back is pressed up against the wall of our house. A large rock has crushed half of it. My legs shake as tears stream down my face.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  Blood.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  So much blood.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  Screams.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  My body is so numb, nothing wants to move. A titan moves towards me, covered in red. It reaches a hand out to me and something inside knocks me from my fear. I run down alleyways, broken streets. Ones that are normally filled with life.<br/><br/><br/></strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>A hand comes out of nowhere, I dodge just in time only to catch myself on a low hanging roof. A cry comes from behind me as I pull myself back up. The titan has caught the person that was behind me. I grab my blade to fight but it’s too late. </strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  A dead body falls to the ground. More cries surround me, confusion takes over as I try to figure out how to save everyone.</strong>
  </em>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <strong>  My name is called but I don’t know who is calling it…<br/><br/><br/></strong>
  </em>
</p>
<p>Straight up ahead the female titan is killing soldiers left right and center as she closes in on Eren. Pushing myself to the limits to catch up with her. <br/> Erwin’s voice suddenly fills the air and spikes fire from canons pinning the female titan in place. I stop on her head where Levi joins me. A dark look crosses over his face as he looks at me.<br/>  “You were ordered to stay back!” He snaps.<br/>  I pull my blade out and stick it straight into the top of her head. “I came when I heard distress.”<br/>  “Stay out of our way.” He orders as he turns his attention to the titan below our feet.<br/>  “Ever since you found out I can shift, you have been treating me like a child again instead of a soldier.” <br/>  Levi ignores me as he gets up close with the female titan, he starts threatening her. A sudden roar leaves her mouth and everything goes quiet. Titans break through the depths of the forest instantly latching onto the female titans body, eating it.<br/>  Levi grabs me and we retreat back to a branch. Erwin calls for us to retreat. Levi gives me a look of disappointment and shakes his head before going after his squad.<br/>  Erwin comes to stand beside me, he places a hand on my shoulder. “You disobeyed orders.”<br/>  I look at the ground where the female titan’s body is being devoured. “I know. I thought I could help.”<br/>  His face softens. “The reason you were given that order is because it would have been too much for Levi to keep an eye on you as well. As long as he knew you were safe on the edge of the forest, he could concentrate on protecting Eren.”<br/>  I mentally hit myself. “I’m an idiot. I risked Eren and his life coming in here.”<br/>  “Not an idiot, just someone who doesn’t listen when necessary. Now lets get the hell out of here.”<br/>  A flash of light illuminates the forest. Eren. I kick myself into fight mode again and take off before Erwin can stop me. Following the sound of fighting, a trail of bodies line the way. Levi’s squad have all been killed and my heart wrenches at the sight. Did I cause this?<br/>  Eren is going head to head with the female titan by the time I reach them. No one else seems to be around. I take a risk and go straight for the nape of the female titans neck. Faster than your average titan she snatches me and brings me right up to her face.<br/>  Eren roars, charging at her. She bites my legs off at the knee joint and tosses me aside like a ragdoll. I crash into a nearby tree, barely conscious. I look up as I see her bite Eren from his decapitated titan form.</p>
<p>I’m woken by the sound of galloping horses. My body lies next to Eren’s on a cart. Steam rises from both our bodies. Barely awake I roll my head to face the sky, it’s so blue. I can see Mikasa out of the corner of my eyes but she is more focused on Eren. My eyes close just as I hear mention of titans.<br/>  The carts have stopped moving and I try to sit up a little but my body is too weak. A face looks down at me, grief engraved into his features. Guilt washes over me. I remember seeing his whole squad dead. The people he trusted the most, put the most faith in.<br/>  “I’m sorry.” I croak out.<br/>  He looks away from me. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m glad that you’re okay, alive.”<br/>  “I’m so sorry, Levi.” Tears start to brim my eyes. “I let you down, I let them down.”<br/>  He places his hand on mine, I can see the sadness in his eyes. “You didn’t let anyone down, I did.”<br/>  He moves away before I can say anything else. Jean comes over, Armin and Reiner right behind him. A look of relief lights up his face as he sees me. I reach out a weak hand and intertwine my fingers with his.<br/>  “I thought you were gone when I couldn’t find you. Mikasa was the one who told me you were alive.”<br/>  Tears spill over my cheeks but I can’t bring myself to say anything. I squeeze his hand as tight as I can. He leans over and places a soft kiss on my forehead. Armin and Reiner give me a grateful look as the cart starts to move on.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sitting across from Sasha and Connie, I eat in silence as I only pay half attention to what they are discussing. My mind is all kinds of a mess right now.<br/>  “Hey, do you guys remember that night we played truth or dare as cadets?” Sasha asks looking between Connie and I.<br/>  A smile grows on my face. “I think that is my favourite memory of everyone.”<br/>  “(y/n) socking Jean in the face with his own pillow.” Connie cracks.</p>
<p><br/>  <br/><em>The wind howls outside the boys cabin. Everyone is crammed in, using beds as seats, not caring about personal space. Marco and I sit cross legged on his bed facing everyone else, as we all joke with one another.</em><br/><em>  Jean walks in and his face falls when he sees me. I glance in his direction before going back to my conversation with Bertholdt about hand to hand combat.</em><br/><em>  “What are you doing on my bed?” He questions, catching the attention of the other cadets in the room.</em><br/><em>  I roll my eyes and look back at him. “This isn’t your bed, this is Marco’s bed.”</em><br/><em>  He snorts. “I don’t think so, Marco sleeps on the top bunk. So you might want to move your ass up there.”</em><br/><em>  “C’mon Jean, Krista and Ymir are already sitting up there.” Marco pleads. “There is no harm in her sitting on your bed.”</em><br/><em>  He gives Marco a look of pure disbelief. “She’s probably caught something off Jaeger and I don’t want what he has.” </em><br/><em>  Eren goes to stand but Mikasa stops him. She gives me a slight nod and I get to my feet coming to stand in front of Jean.</em><br/><em>  “It looks like you’ve already caught something,” I pout at him. “And I don’t know if it’s curable Jean boy.”</em><br/><em>  His face becomes flustered with frustration. “Why you.”</em><br/><em>  I hold my hand back towards Bertholdt and I feel him pass me the pillow off Jean’s bed. “It’s called being a dickhead. Maybe I could try beating it out of you.”</em><br/><em>  He takes a step back as I raise the pillow. “You wouldn’t dare.”</em><br/><em>  Before he can make a run for it, I connect the pillow with his face. The cabin fills with cheers and laughter. I bring it back getting the other side of his face. He manages to catch it before I can get my third hit in.</em><br/><em>  His eyes narrow and I’m glad that looks can’t kill. He snatches the pillow from my hold as I grin at him. Marco quickly darts in between us before Jean can beat me to death with his pillow.</em><br/><em>  “Okay, that’s enough now you two.” Marco says.</em><br/><em>  Jean drops the pillow to his side. “What do you mean enough? I haven’t even started with her yet.”</em><br/><em>  I shrug and return to my spot on his bed, lying down so I take up more room. Marco takes a seat beside me, keeping distance between us. Jean glares at me as he sits on the end. I nudge him with my foot and he snaps his head in my direction.</em><br/><em>  “I will suffocate you with this pillow.” He threatens waving the pillow at me.</em><br/><em>  “Then who will you flirt with.” Reiner announces.</em><br/><em>  Once again the whole room fills with laughter as Jean mumbles something under his breath. Marco elbows his friend softly with a smile and Jean shakes his head returning it.</em><br/><em>  “Now that the lovebirds have stopped flirting, we can finally start the game we all gathered you here for tonight.” Connie dawns an evil smirk.</em><br/><em>  Sasha slings her arm around his shoulders. “Truth or dare, folks.”</em><br/><em>  A few sighs bounce around the room. Bertholdt cringes beside me and I give him a hopeful look, it would be best if he just chose truth for his own wellbeing.</em><br/><em>  Jean lets out a loud and annoyed sigh. “Really, truth or dare?” he complains.</em><br/><em>  “Just because you can’t handle doing any dare anyone sets for you.” I comment staring right at him.</em><br/><em>  “I’m so close to kicking you off my bed.” He threatens.</em><br/><em>  I shrug. “That’s fine, I’ll just sit on Bertholdt.”</em><br/><em>  The poor boy's face goes bright red. I pat his shoulder with a sympathetic smile.</em><br/><em>  Connie jumps to his feet. “Cool down you two. We are getting off track here. We need to sort out who is going first.”</em><br/><em>  Sasha points at Mikasa. “Let’s start with you.”</em><br/><em>  To my surprise Mikasa actually takes part in the game. Everyone gets a turn, Eren targets Jean straight away. Jean being the confident idiot he is, chooses dare.</em><br/><em>  “Oh, you’re so dumb.” Reiner mumbles earning a snicker from me.</em><br/><em>  Eren rubs his hands together. “Jean, I dare you to strip down to your underwear until someone says your actual name.”</em><br/><em>  Jean’s face drops. “You’re kidding me! There is no way I’m doing that.”</em><br/><em>  Connie clears his throat. “If one chooses not to take on their dare, they must do a lap around the track naked.”</em><br/><em>  “You guys really hate me, don’t you?” He mutters as he strips off. </em><br/><em>  Reiner wolf whistles earning a death look from Jean as he slips into the shadow cast from the top bunk. He uses his arms and legs to try and cover himself up.</em><br/><em>  “Horse face, your turn to pick someone.” Eren says.</em><br/><em>  Jean’s eyes instantly snap to me. “Truth or dare, (y/n)?”</em><br/><em>  “Dare.”</em><br/><em>  “I dare you to say my name.” Jean says with a smug look plastered on his face.</em><br/><em>  I get up off the bed and start unbuttoning my shirt as I head straight for the door. The rain pummels the ground as I kick my boots off.</em><br/><em>  “You would rather do a lap naked in the cold rain than say my name.” Jean calls after me.</em><br/><em>  I look back over my shoulder and wink. “Damn right. Your pain is my gain.”</em><br/><em>  A full lap in the rain and I come back to the cabin shivering and soaking. I quickly get changed and make my appearance back inside. Marco greets me with a blanket, wrapping me up as I sit down.</em><br/><em>  “That was worth it by the way.” I stutter.</em><br/><em>  “I bet the cold you’ll get won’t be.” Jean says.</em><br/><em>  The cabin door creaks open and Shades puts his head in. We all recoil at his presence. He takes one look at Jean and shakes his head sighing.</em><br/><em>  “Sleep! All of you.” He demands before vanishing.</em><br/><em>  “Krista and I are stealing your bed for the night, Marco.” Ymir calls down to him.</em><br/><em>  He pops his head up over the side. “That’s fine, it’s pretty bad outside.”</em><br/><em>  I let a sneeze out. “Trust me, it’s not worth going out there.”</em><br/><em>  “Ha, see. You admit it.” Jean yells at me.</em><br/><em>  “I mean to go back to the females cabin. We are all crashing here, idiot.” I say.</em><br/><em>  “Looks like you will be sleeping on the floor then because this space is already at capacity.” </em><br/><em>  I look around the room and find everyone has found a spot to sleep in for the night. Annie has taken Bertholdt's bed while he is crashing with a displeased Reiner, Mikasa and Sasha have doubled up in a spare bed, leaving me with nowhere to sleep.</em><br/><em>  I get up from the bed dropping the blanket. “I’ll head back over to the girls cabin. I’ve already ran through the rain once tonight so it won’t bother me to do it again.”</em><br/><em>  Marco grabs my arm. “Don’t be stupid, take my spot.”</em><br/><em>  “Excuse me,” Jean interrupts. “Your spot? This is my bed.”</em><br/><em>  Marco turns and gives Jean a dark look. “We are not letting our friend walk back in the rain to sleep alone.”</em><br/><em>  “We can top and tail if you want?” Eren asks.</em><br/><em>  “I think last time we did that, you kicked me in the face.”</em><br/><em>  He chuckles to himself a little. “That’s right, back to back then?”</em><br/><em>    “Done.” I snatch Jean’s shirt off the edge of the bed. “My shirt is damp so I’ll be borrowing this. Thanks Jean.”</em><br/><em>  He leaps from the bed. “She said my name, I’m free.”</em><br/><em>  Ymir tosses a pillow down at his head. “Go to sleep already, man. You’re really getting on my last nerve tonight.”</em><br/><em>  He rubs his head. “Okay, okay.” He sulks back onto his bed before giving me one last look.</em></p>
<p><br/>  <br/>Jean drops down on the seat beside me wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You look deep in thought.”<br/>  “Just remembering the time I socked you in the face with your own pillow.”<br/> His face drops. “I remember that night. You were such a pain in the ass back then.”<br/>  “I was? How about you?”<br/>  Sasha and Connie giggle from across the way, both of us stop our argument and look at them.<br/>  “You two haven’t changed.” Sasha comments.<br/>  “The only difference is that you guys now suck each other's face.” Connie laughs.<br/>  I sigh. “Did you have to say it that way?”<br/>  “Sorry, cleaning each other's faces. That’s how the captain said it right?” Sasha starts crying from laughter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Twelve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A hand touches my shoulder and I cuddle into my pillow more. My body isn’t ready to wake up yet. I can’t do another morning of early training. I just one morning where I can sleep in.<br/>  “Jean, please five more minutes.” I groan. “I’ll make it up to you if I can get five more minutes.”<br/>  The hand shakes my shoulder and I roll over to find Eren smiling down at me. My face flushes hot as I stare up at him wide eyed.<br/>  “Gross,” he says. “That is something I can’t erase from my mind.”<br/>  I push him aside and get out of bed. “That’s your fault for coming into my room uninvited.”<br/>  He sits down on my bed. “It could have been Levi or even Hanji.”<br/>  “See that’s where you’re wrong. Levi usually kicks me or throws something at me and Hanji will generally jump on me.” I grab my uniform.<br/>  “We have the day off before you get changed.” He says. “Does that mean Jean just slips into your bed?”<br/>  I shake my head tossing my uniform aside and grabbing casual clothing. “He knocks most of the time. But that alerts Levi that he’s coming into my room so we need to rethink that one.”<br/>  “Probably a good thing. We don’t want him reproducing.” <br/>  I throw my Survey Corps jacket at his head which he catches with ease. “Why are you in my room anyway?”<br/>  “We are heading into the woods to hang out, away from all of this. It’s about time we had a break.” Eren says standing. “Are you in?”<br/>  “Of course I am. I’ll be out soon.”<br/>  “Great, meet you out by the stables.”<br/>  Eren walks out. I quickly get changed and head down stairs where everyone is gathering. Levi grabs me out of nowhere stopping me in my tracks.<br/>  “Where are you off to in a hurry?” He asks.<br/>  “Day off, I’m going to hang out with my friends. Blow off some steam.” I say, he raises an eyebrow at me. “Not literally blow off steam, just relax.”<br/>  He internalizes it. “Okay, just stay out of trouble.”<br/>  I slip from his grip already half way down the stairs. “Can’t promise anything.” I call up to him. “See you later.”<br/>  He mutters something but I’m already out of range as I bump into everyone else heading out. Jean catches me around the waist pulling me into his side.<br/>  “(y/n) is riding with me.” Jean announces.<br/>  “Pretty sure she’d rather be riding you.” Reiner cracks.<br/>  “At least someone wants to ride him.” I laugh as I walk up beside him. “How’s things going with Christa?” I whisper, flicking my gaze over to Ymir and her.<br/>  His face falls. “Good comeback.” He claps me on the back, a smile growing on his face. <br/>  Everyone doubles up on horses apart from Bertholdt who rides alone. He has a pack strapped onto the back of the horse. I look up at Erwin’s window and see Levi and him watching us. I give a small wave which is returned.<br/>  <br/>After riding for about half an hour we find ourselves out in the middle of nowhere, trees surround us. Jean gets off first and holds a hand out to me.<br/>  “What a gentleman.” I comment, taking his hand. “Once upon a time you would’ve pushed me off the horse.”<br/>  He rolls his eyes as he helps me down. “That would’ve been something you’d do to me.”<br/>  I laugh to myself. “You’re right.”<br/>  “He would’ve been on the horse behind you watching your ass.” Ymir calls him out.<br/>  Jean’s face turns into a scowl and I bump him with my hip. “I only did that once.” He yells at her.<br/>  “You still did it.” She laughs.<br/>  "Did it once, he says." Reiner adds. "You used to walk behind her on purpose."<br/>  Jean starts an argument with them and I take that as my que to move away. I go over to Bertholdt and help him with some of the bags. I lift one and almost crash into the ground with it.<br/>  “What the hell is in here?” I exclaim.<br/>  Connie and Sasha run over to me, helping me lift the bag. Bertholdt leans over and pucks it from us with ease.<br/>  “We brought along some needed extras.” Sasha says slyly.<br/>  I eye her. “What do you mean by added extras.”<br/>  Connie opens the bag pulling out a bottle with a grin plastered over his face. “We took them from the storage in the basement. You’d be surprised how much alcohol the Survey Corps holds down there.”<br/>  I place a hand on my hip. “And they aren’t going to notice a hole in their supply?”<br/>  Connie and Sasha put their arms around my shoulders. “By then it will be too late. It’s not like we can undrink it.”<br/>  I chuckle. “I bet Levi could find a way.”<br/>  “That’s okay, you don’t have to drink any.” Connie says matter of factly.<br/>  I snatch the bottle from him. “I didn’t say anything of the sort, this is mine by the way.”<br/>  “Good ole peer pressure saves the day.” Connie laughs darkly.<br/><br/></p><p>We set up an area under the shade of a huge tree sitting in an ugly looking circle. Jean sits on my right keeping me close as Bertholdt sits on my left. Reiner keeps out of punching distance of me. As he should do.<br/>  “Are we just going to sit here, drink and stare at each other?” I ask taking a sip from my bottle.<br/>  Jean reaches over taking it off with me. He winks before gulping down a mouthful. I punch him lightly.<br/>  “We could always play a game of truth and dare like we used to?” Ymir suggests. <br/>  “That sounds like a bad idea.” Sasha states. “I love it, let’s do it.”<br/>  “Sorry we don’t have a pillow for you to beat Jean up with again.” Eren jokes.<br/>  “But now he actually wants her to be in his bed.” Armin cracks.<br/>  All attention turns to the blonde boy whose cheeks are already tinted red. He gives us a lop sided smile.<br/>  “Someone needs to cut him off now otherwise we will have to drag him back.” Reiner comments.<br/>  “Good idea.” I give Armin a look of concern. “Give him some water in the meantime.”<br/>  He waves us off. “I feel fine.”<br/>  “That’s what you say now but I’m not riding with you vomiting over the side of the horse.” I confess.<br/>  The group agrees as Mikasa takes the bottle from him and passes it onto Eren. Sasha claps her hands together, eyeing everyone up especially me. I feel as though this is a trap for me.<br/>  “Eren! You’re up first. Truth or dare?” Sasha questions him.<br/>  “Dare.” He says proudly.<br/>  “Sit on Jean’s lap for the rest of the game.” She shouts without an ounce of hesitation.<br/>  The tension rises between both boys as their faces turn to pure horror. I move over and pat Jean’s thigh with a keen smirk.<br/>  “He doesn’t bite… hard.” I laugh.<br/>  Eren’s face twitches and he doesn’t move. Jean starts trying to pull me on his lap instead.<br/>  “Are you chickening out, Eren?” I taunt.<br/>  His face changes from horror to determination as he gets to his feet. He downs the rest of his bottle. “I’m going to need more than that to sit on him for the rest of the game.”<br/>  Bertholdt pulls me away from Jean as Eren sits down on him. There is a little bit of punching and scraping until they eventually settle down. The group is quiet as Eren folds his arms over his chest while Jean is leaning back as far as possible without actually lying down.<br/>  “This is truly a beautiful sight.” Reiner laughs.<br/>  Eren turns his eyes on the blonde man, there is darkness in them with a little revenge. “Reiner, truth or dare.”<br/>  “Dare, titan boy.”<br/>  “I dare you to wear your underwear on the outside of your pants for the rest of the game.”<br/>  “What happens if I’m not wearing any?” Reiner’s face is serious.<br/>  Eren’s smirk drops. “Well, uh.”<br/>  “I’m kidding, be right back.” He jumps to his feet going behind a tree.<br/>  I give it a minute before getting up myself. Bertholdt grabs onto my arm and shush him. He lets go of me with a look of concern.<br/>  I move over to the tree quietly, peeking around the corner. Reiner is struggling with his underwear. I dart in and grab his pants that are lying on the ground and take off.<br/>  “Oi, (y/n)!” He yells after me. “Give me those back.”<br/>  He starts chasing after me in his underwear. The group erupts into laughter as Reiner gains on me as I move in between trees.<br/>  He finally lands a hand on my shoulder ripping me backwards. A strangled laugh escapes me as he holds me in place with an iron grip holding his other hand out to me.<br/>  “I’ll be taking those from you now.”<br/>  I hand them over. “That was fun.”<br/>  He shakes his head. “Revenge is going to be sweet.”<br/>  “Shit.” I mutter. “Should’ve thought about that.”<br/>  “You could always take truth.” Armin hiccups.<br/>  Mikasa slaps her hand over his mouth with a death look. I take my seat back down beside Bertholdt. <br/>  “One way or another I will have to do something embarrassing or degrading.”<br/>  “Damn right you will have to.” Reiner states as he steps back out from the tree with his underwear on the outside of his pants. “So what’s it going to be (y/n)?”<br/>    “I’ll take it like a champ, dare it is.”<br/>  “Place your hands on the inner thighs of Bertholdt and Jean for the rest of the game.” <br/>  Bertholdt flushes bright red and the poor guy looks like he is about to pass out. I give Reiner a dirty look.<br/>  “Poor Bertholdt didn’t need to be dragged into this.” I defend him.<br/>  Reiner shrugs. “Is that you backing out of the dare?”<br/>  I slap my hand down on the inner part of Bertholdt's thigh making him jump. I mouth a sorry at him as I slid my hand over Jean’s thigh with a wink.<br/>  “Did you have to do it that way (y/n)?” Eren snaps. “You forget I’m sitting on his lap. Don’t try to turn him on.”<br/>  “I didn’t think of doing that but now that you put it in my mind.” I start tracing the inner part of Jean’s thigh.<br/>  Both guys start to throw a hissy fit but neither of them can move away. I chuckle to myself and look back over at Bertholdt who has his eyes set dead ahead.<br/>  “You’re turn, truth or dare?” I ask him.<br/>  “Truth.” He mumbles.<br/>  Sasha pounces from her spot over to me, almost knocking me back. She brings her hand and mouth up beside my ear. “Ask him who he has a crush on.” She whispers.<br/>  I pull back from her. “No, that would be mean.”<br/>  “Oh come on.” She whines. “It can’t be any worse than having your worst enemy sitting on your lap.”<br/>  We both look over at Eren and Jean who look miserable. I dig my fingers into Jeans thigh a little and he shoots me a dirty look.<br/>  “Stop.” Eren groans.<br/>   “Okay, fine.” I sigh looking over at Bertholdt who can’t bring himself to look at me. “Do you have a crush at the moment?”<br/>  He gulps and starts sweating. I give Sasha a saddened look as she returns to her spot.<br/>  “No.” He answers.<br/>  “Lies.” Reiner yells.<br/>  Bertholdt snaps his head in his friend's direction. “Fine then, yes.”<br/>  “Who?” Connie asks.<br/>  He shakes his head. “I only had to answer yes or no.”<br/>  The whole group sighs.<br/>  “Good going (y/n). That wasn’t how I worded it to you.” Sasha complains falling backwards into the grass. “Let’s call it for the rest of the day. I just want to lie here.”<br/>  Eren flies off Jeans lap and back in between Mikasa and Armin. Jean grabs me and drags me onto his lap nuzzling into my neck.<br/>  “This is much better.” He states.<br/>  “Your boner was digging into my leg.” Eren makes a disgusted face.<br/>  Jean flips him off before pulling me down into the grass with him. I snuggle into his chest as he runs his fingers through my hair. The rest of the day none of us move, just enjoying the peace.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter Thirteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I am currently in the process of moving country at the moment so if I become a little MIA, I have not abandoned ship. I will be back!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Erwin is sitting in his office with mountains of paperwork surrounding him. He stops what he’s doing as I come to sit down in front of him. Levi is sitting over by the window, grief has sunken into his face.<br/>  “We have some serious matters that need to be discussed.”<br/>  I look down at my hands. “I know, I screwed up on that last expedition outside the wall.”<br/>  He reaches his arm across the table to me. “It’s nothing to do with what you did. We have an idea on who might be the female titan.”<br/>  My eyes grow wide as I come to look at Erwin, leaning forward on my seat. “Who do you suspect?”<br/>  A small knock comes at the door before Armin walks in. He gives me a polite smile before saluting to Erwin who motions to the seat beside me.<br/>  “We have been discussing the female titan, would you like to enlighten (y/n) here about what you have gathered?”<br/>  Armin starts his explanation about how he suspects Annie being the female titan and the proof he has gathered over time. He mentions how she had Marco’s gear. This triggers me.<br/>  I jump to my feet causing Armin to flinch backwards. “She killed Marco.” I almost shout.<br/>  “That’s not what I said but she did have his gear so there is a possibility.” Armin explains, his eyes fixed on me.<br/>  I go to move and Levi grabs me by the arm, I swiftly turn my head and glare daggers at him. “Don’t stop me, I will gut that bitch.”<br/>  “Calm down, we have a plan in place.” He says. “Sit your ass back down and get a hold of yourself.”<br/>  I grab him by the front of his shirt. “You don’t get to tell me to calm down, if she really did kill Marco I want to be the one who watches her suffer.”<br/>  Levi’s face softens as he watches tears well up in my eyes. “I know how you’re feeling but charging in is going to cost us more lives than necessary. You will get your justice for him just sit down and we will sort this out.” He says calmly.<br/>  I break down and drop my head onto his shoulder, sobbing. “What did he do to deserve that death?” I cry out. “And out of everyone, Jean had to find him like that.”<br/>  Armin places a hand on my shoulder. “You will get your justice, we just need to prove that she is the titan female first. We already have everything planned out.”<br/>  I lift my head from Levi’s shoulder, wiping my tears away. “Where do I fall into this plan?”<br/>  “You will remain on top of the wall around Stohess.” Erwin states. “And before you can argue with me on this, we need you there just in case she tries to escape. We have multiple backup plans, you are one of them.”<br/>  “That means you don’t take any action until you get the signal. Will you be able to follow orders this time?” Levi asks.<br/>  I look between all three men. “I can and I will obey orders this time. I will not intervene without the signal.”<br/>  “Good to hear, now get ready. We depart soon.” Erwin says.<br/>  I follow Armin out of the office leaving Levi and Erwin to talk. We walk down to the stables where everyone is getting ready. Jean spots me and rushes to my side. He takes my face in his hands, his eyes moving over every feature.<br/>  “You look like you’ve been crying. Are you okay? What happened?” He asks frantically.<br/>  I place a hand on the side of his face. “I’m fine, Jean. Please don’t worry.”<br/>  A small smile creeps to his face. “I will always worry about your crazy ass.” He says before leaning down and kissing me.<br/>  We linger in the moment before someone clears their throat behind us. We look over and see Eren standing behind us with a disgusted look on his face.<br/>  “(y/n) why are you kissing one of the horses? Jean is over there.” Eren says pointing to a random horse in the stable.<br/>  Jean drops his hold on me and I grab him before he can go after him. Mikasa and Armin pull Eren away before Jean can say or do anything.<br/>  “That was a good one considering he just straight calls you horse face most of the time.” I laugh.<br/>  Jean sighs. “That is not what I want to hear from my girlfriend.”<br/>  “Oh, so now I’m your girlfriend. I don’t remember you ever asking me.”<br/>  His face flushes pink. “Well, I just thought since that moment in the basement we were together.”<br/>  I place my hands on my hips. “I better inform my other boyfriends then if we are making it official.”<br/>  “What other boyfriends?” He questions, panic all over his face.<br/>  I bump his hip lightly with mine. “I’m just joking but I’d love to be your girlfriend.” <br/>  A smug smile comes to his lips. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist my charm.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.<br/>  “Don’t do that again, Kirstein.” Levi warns walking past. “(y/n) get your ass ready, we need you to leave soon.”<br/>  “Yes, Captain.” I say grabbing my gear.<br/>  Jean waits for Levi to disappear before kissing me one more time. “Stay safe, I don’t want you in the back of any more carts. I don’t care if you can regenerate, just be careful.”<br/>  Clipping my belts in place. “I can’t make promises I can’t keep but I will try my best. I can promise you that.”</p><p><br/>  <br/>Down below Eren’s titan takes down the female titan, smashing her face into multiple buildings. We are going to get into some major shit with all this destruction but that will be the least of Erwin's concerns right now. <br/>  My feet itch just wanting to jump in help, my babysitter keeps giving me the side eye. Just waiting for me to screw up. I crack my knuckles as I watch the scene below unfold. I want her to reach the wall. I want her to walk straight into my trap. <br/>  “(y/n) watch yourself.” The babysitter warns.<br/>  I barely acknowledge him and he knows it won’t take much for me to fling myself off the side and change. No one would be able to stop me. I could tear Annie limb from limb.<br/>  Annie latches onto the wall and starts climbing. I pull my blade and get ready to jump when Mikasa swings, cutting off the female titan’s fingers. She falls to the ground where Eren latches back onto her.<br/>  “No,” I whisper, dropping my blade.<br/>  A bright light blinds me for a moment and the next thing I know Annie is cased in a crystal. I throw myself off the side of the wall, gliding down to where she is. Levi cuts Eren from his titan.<br/>  I stand before Annie. Her body is now out of harm's way. I can’t get to her, I can’t get my revenge. I can’t do it for Marco. I can't bring us peace.<br/>  Tears stream down my face as I start punching the crystal, my blood splatters over the crystal. My body trembling with anger.<br/>  “You coward.” I shriek taking a step back. “You can’t face any of us for what you’ve done. How dare you run away like this. Face me!”<br/>  Armin places a hand on my arm and guides me away. Another voice starts up, over my shoulder I see Jean attacking her with his blade yelling. Levi steps in to stop him. We’re all hurting.<br/>  I drop to my knees. “We failed.” I sob.<br/>  Jean kneels down beside me, bringing his strong arms around me holding me close. He doesn’t say a thing but I know we both feel the same about the situation. He wipes the tears away from my face.<br/>  “Take her out of here.” Levi orders Jean.<br/>  “Yes, Sir.” Jean says as he helps me to my feet.<br/>  “Thank you for obeying your orders.” Levi says to me. “It could have gone very wrong if you had gotten yourself involved.”</p><p><br/>  <br/>Jean lies me down on his bed and I curl up bringing my knees to my chest. He moves in behind me, holding me tightly.<br/>  “Eren lost control. He could have easily done what he did to Annie to you.” He says quietly.<br/>  I lace my fingers through his. “I know and who is to say that I would’ve done the same as Eren.”<br/>  “You wouldn’t have though. You’re stronger than that.”<br/>  “I wanted her to climb that wall so I could kill her. I had so much hate running through me, who knows what could’ve happened if I had gotten my hands on her.”<br/>  Jean rolls me over. “It’s all over for the moment. Get some rest, I have to go and speak with someone about what happened.” He places a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be back soon, okay?”<br/>  I place my hand on the side of his face. “Thank you.”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter Fourteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>A hand reaches out to me and I back into a wall, cornered. My heart thumping away in my chest but I don’t know for how much longer.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  An opening appears and I take my chances. Running through empty streets, there is no one around. No more titans. No sound.</em>
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  <em>  The street falls away and I’m standing outside Wall Rose. The squad, my friends surround me. Jean walks over to me just as a titan picks him up. No one moves to save him. My feet are rooted to the ground.</em>
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  <em>  “Jean! Someone help him.” I cry, struggling in my spot.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  No one moves. I thrash around, tears streaming down my face. The titan places Jean in his mouth. Blood blurs my vision.</em>
</p><p>My body shoots up in bed, sweat beading on my forehead. My heart is almost thumping out of my chest. A pair of arms wrap around me. I jump at the touch, getting tangled in the blankets, and fall to the ground.<br/>  “(y/n) calm down, it’s just me.” Jean says as he picks me up off the ground.<br/>  I latch onto him burying my face into his chest. “I thought I’d lost you. I had a nightmare you were eaten by titans.” My hands trembling as I clutch onto his torso.<br/>  He places his hand on the back of my head bringing me even closer. “It’s okay, it was only a nightmare. I’m still here.” He whispers.<br/>  I wiggle my head from it’s spot on his chest and look up into his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”<br/>  His hand slides forward to my cheek. “You won’t.” He brings his lips down on mine.<br/>  His kiss is full of passion, I grip onto his shirt pulling him in even closer. I feel his fingers dig into my waist which brings a small moan out of me.<br/>  The door slams open and we pull apart but don’t let go of each other. Levi shoots a glare at Jean briefly before looking to me.<br/>  “We need to get going. Apparently Wall Rose has been breached.” He states.<br/>  My stomach drops and my mind goes back to that nightmare. “No. it can’t have.”<br/>  “We don’t have the option to wait and see. Get your gear and meet me outside in five minutes. Kirstein go grab a horse and follow the rest of the scouts.” Levi commands before moving back into the hallway.<br/>  I grab Jean’s face so he is looking into my eyes. “Be careful please.”<br/>  He smashes his lips into mine for a moment before releasing. “I will so we can pick this up afterwards.” He moves away from me. “I love you.” <br/>  Before I can respond he is already out the door. I snap out of my daze and grab everything I need, rushing to meet Levi.<br/>  Mikasa, Armin, and Eren sit on one side of a cart while Levi and Hanji sit with some guy on the other side. Levi moves over allowing me to sit across from Eren.<br/>  “Who’s this guy?” I ask leaning forward trying to get a good look at him.<br/>  He doesn’t move or say anything, his eyes focused straight ahead. Who knows what Hanji has already done to him.<br/>  “This is my friend Pastor Nick.” Hanji announces, slinging her arm around the mans neck.<br/>  Fear crosses through his eyes meaning she has already threatened him at least once. We’ve all been there before. I smirk to myself before skimming out over the scouts for Jean. No sign of him.<br/>  The cart moves towards Wall Rose as the others discuss a fragment that Hanji had discovered after Annie had crystalized. I keep my focus ahead, only barely listening to their conversation. I know it’s something important, something I should be listening to but my mind is elsewhere. So much for being a great soldier.<br/>  Levi’s hand drops onto my shoulder making me tense up. Bringing my attention back around to him, his eyes have a dark look to them.<br/>  “Is this something you would be willing to try?” He asks.<br/>  My face falls blank. “No idea what you’ve been talking about to be honest.”<br/>  Irritation crosses his face. “You need to be listening. We are wanting to know if you can help us block the hole in Wall Maria.”<br/>  “I will do whatever is needed to succeed.” I answer.<br/>  He grabs my arm roughly. “That’s not an answer. You’re as bad as Eren, it’s either a yes or no.”<br/>  “Yes.” I snap pulling my arm free. “I will do whatever is needed to succeed. You all taught me that. I’m just a soldier, remember.” <br/>  Hanji looks past Pastor Nick at me with sadness in her eyes. “You’re more than a soldier, more than a titan shifter.”<br/>  “You’re powerful and intelligent, lethal.” Levi adds.<br/>  “You’re like family.” Eren says.<br/>  “You’re the laughter through the silence.” Armin says.<br/>  “You’re our friend.” Mikasa nods.<br/>  “You’re loved.” Hanji smiles at me.<br/>  Eren reaches across for my hands, gripping them tightly with that look in his eyes. “We can do this together. I believe in us.”<br/>  I nod. “Let’s do it.”</p><p>Hanji and Levi decide it’s better for me to stay away from the action for now and send me to help scout the wall for any breaches. <br/>  Swinging from trees, avoiding the odd abandoned buildings I scan my eyes over the wall. Nothing as of yet and no signs of titans which is strange. Surely they must be getting in somewhere. <br/>  I land gracefully on a roof and search the horizon for anything. It’s still pretty dark, the sun would be getting to rise soon. A cold breeze rushes past me as I turn my attention back to the wall. I wonder where Jean is and if he’s safe. If everyone’s safe.<br/>  I sigh and get back to work. I hoist myself up to the top of the wall. This could take forever but it’s something I have been instructed to do.<br/>  A couple of hours pass and I find myself catching up with everyone else. Eren holds his hand down to me helping me up over the side of the wall. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Armin are there waiting. My body relaxes as I know they are safe.<br/>  “How’s it going boys?” I ask with a smirk.<br/>  “Where have you been?” Eren counters.<br/>  “Levi and Hanji sent me out to check the wall for any breaches.” I answer casually.<br/>  “They wanted her to stay out of trouble.” Armin adds.<br/>  “Exactly, they gave me a boring ass job but an important one.”<br/>  “The Garrison are already checking the wall for any breaches.” Armin says.<br/> I roll my eyes. “But we know the Garrison are a bunch of drunks and aren’t all that reliable.”<br/>  Eren nods. “She’s got a point.”<br/>  “Speaking of the Garrison, here they come.” Armin states.<br/>  We all move over to the side of the wall. I stay behind the crowd with Bertholdt and Reiner. Reiner’s arm is in a sling.<br/>  “How’s your arm going?” I ask quietly.<br/>  “Not great. This is the second time a titan has tried to kill me.”<br/>  “Those titans really want a piece of you, don’t they? Is there anything I can do to help you with it?”<br/>  He shakes his head. “It will be fine. It’s probably fractured.”<br/>  “That’s better than having no arm but anyway it’s good to see that everyone is okay. Ever since Marco’s death I can’t help but think the worst.”<br/>  Bertholdt places his hand on my shoulder. “I think we all do.”<br/>  Reiner suddenly calls Eren over to us as everyone walks away. “I need to speak with the both of you, do you have a moment?”<br/>  “Sure, what’s going on?” Eren asks, coming to stand next to me.<br/>  Reiner’s whole demeanor changes as he looks between us. “Five years ago we broke Wall Maria. I’m the armoured titan and he’s the colossal titan.” He points between Bertholdt and himself. “We need you two to come with us.”<br/>  I go silent waiting for one of them to say the punchline. I look between them with a confused smile but neither of them return it.<br/>  “Did you hit your head when that titan bit you? You’re speaking nonsense.”<br/>  “You’re both just tired from everything that has happened tonight.” Eren backs me up. “Plus if you were really the armoured titan, why would we be having this conversation? Like either of us would come peacefully with you because you asked nicely. (Y/n) barely listens to our commander and captains.”<br/>  “Hey! I’m getting better at listening to others but Eren does have a point. This is just a poor joke, guys.”<br/>   Reiner’s face falls. “Right, my mind is all over the place right now. I’m not thinking straight.”<br/>  “Cmon, let's get going.” Eren says.<br/>  We both turn away from Reiner and Bertholdt. My hands are trembling. Reiner’s voice rises from behind us, he is talking about something that doesn’t make any sense to me. I turn and look back at him as he pulls off his sling and bandages. With pure horror I watch the titan bite mark heal in a flash of steam. My heart stops.<br/>  Mikasa jumps in before either Eren or I can react to the situation. Her blade cuts straight through Reiner’s hand before she slices at Bertholdt’s throat. My gut reaction makes me move forward towards my hurt friends, wanting to protect me.<br/>  “Eren, (y/n) run away!” Armin screams behind us.<br/>  My own eyes and heart can’t comprehend what’s happened in front of me. Static rises up around the two guys as they stare at me distraught.<br/>  “Please don’t.” I cry out.<br/>  A flash of light engulfs the top of the wall, steam rolls off two large titans standing before us. I come face to face with the armoured and the colossal titan. The two that destroyed our lives.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter Fifteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>Reiner snatches Eren and throws himself off the side. I go to chase after them and Bertholdt swipes his arm out blowing us all backwards. My gear cracks and a gas canister flies off. He grabs Ymir’s body and another scout throwing them both into his mouth. Krista yells out behind me.<br/>  “Bertholdt, stop this all.” I scream up at him pulling my blades out.<br/>  His attention turns down to me, meaning his defenses were down. The rest of the scouts take their chances and rush at him. <br/>  “Please Bert,” I call up to him. “We can talk about this.”<br/>  He hesitates for a moment before swiping his arm back out, trying to bat away the scouts. Even though he’s big, his movements are slow. Hanji calls out commands to her squad.<br/>  A roar comes from below and I spot Eren attacking Reiner. Steam suddenly emits from Bertholdt’s titans body pushing everyone backwards. I go to retreat and he slams his gigantic arm in front of me blocking off my exit. The steam burns at my skin.<br/>  “(y/n),” Hanji calls out.<br/>  “Hanji, I’m alright but I don’t know for how long. The steam is almost unbearable.”<br/> I call back shooting a death glare up at Bertholdt.<br/>  “Shift, it will protect you better.” She shouts. “You can fight him in that form.”<br/>  I ditch my broken gear and go to bite my hand when Bertholdt shifts his arm, knocking me off the side. I just manage to latch onto the side, my body dangling over the edge. Below I can see Eren and Reiner still going at it.<br/>  A horrible sound comes from Reiner below, Eren has him pinned and he can’t move. I look up above to see Bertholdt’s titan body dissolving, a crack rings through the air.<br/>  “Hanji!” I scream over to her.<br/>   The Colossal titans body gives way and falls towards me. It crashes down, taking me down with it. It collides with the ground blowing me back into the wall. My body crumples to the dirt, I watch as Bertholdt emerges from his titan with Ymir tucked under his arm. He looks over at me with guilt smeared all over his face. <br/>  “You traitor.” I groan as I try to get to my feet.<br/>  He comes over to me, there is a darkness in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. He picks me up by the front of my shirt bringing us face to face. My body limp in his hold.<br/>  “You’re coming with me.”</p><p><em>The snow storms starts to really set in. I drag my heavy body towards the light. Every inch of me has gone numb. I was stupid to think that I could do this alone. Why do I always have to learn the hard way?</em><br/><em>  A dark figure runs towards me, lantern in hand. Collapsing just as they come to greet me. Marco catches me before I face plant the snow.</em><br/><em>  “Thanks.” I barely get through my lips.</em><br/><em>  “We need to get you inside immediately.” Marco says. “Jean! I found (y/n). She needs help.”</em><br/><em>  Jean runs over to us helping Marco with me. I’m dragged inside where the cold lets up a little. Marco peels my jacket off me, tossing it aside.</em><br/><em>  “Her clothing is drenched.” Jean announces.</em><br/><em>  I start trying to help by pulling my boots off. My hands shake so much that I can’t get a good enough grip on anything, they barely move. Marco darts out of the room and comes back with dry clothes and towels.</em><br/><em>  “I’m sorry (y/n) but I’m going to have to undress you. This is the only way.” Marco apologises.</em><br/><em>  I hold up a weak hand. “It’s fine, this is my own fault anyway.” </em><br/><em>  He pulls me away from Jean’s hold and into a separate room. He keeps his head turned away like a gentleman as he helps me remove all my drenched clothing. I shiver as the air comes in contact with my damp skin. I slip a warm, dry shirt and thick pants on. They look like they belong to Jean or Marco. </em><br/><em>  My shivering eases up a little as Marco wraps my hair up in a towel bringing me back into the main room. He sits me down on a couch near the fire draping a heavy blanket over me.</em><br/><em>  He throws on his winter jacket.</em><br/><em>  “Where are you going?” I ask just as Jean sits down beside me. I can feel his body heating radiating off him.</em><br/><em>  “Krista, Ymir, and Daz are all missing. I’m going with the others to help find them.”</em><br/><em>  I go to stand but Jean grabs onto me. “I need to go help them. They could be in trouble.” I argue.</em><br/><em>  “You’ll be in trouble if you step outside that door again. There are enough of them going. Stay here and stay warm.” Jean says not looking at me.</em><br/><em>  I sigh. “Please be quick, it’s horrible out there.”</em><br/><em>  “I will be. Jean can keep you company in the meantime.” Marco smiles at the both of us before vanishing out the door.</em><br/><em>  I bring my knees up to my chest and realise Jean still has a hold on my arm. His skin is hot under my frozen body. I lavish in it, knowing the moment I mention something he will recoil from me.</em><br/>  </p><p>My eyes snap open and I find myself sitting on a branch high above the ground. My arms from the elbow have been cut off, steam rising from them. This will never be a sight I will get used to. <br/>  “You’re finally awake.” A voice comes from above.<br/>  I look up to find Reiner and Bertholdt standing on branches above me. <br/>  “You bastards.” I yell at them both. “What do you want with us?”<br/>  Reiner chuckles looking away from me. Eren and Ymir sit further down the branch from me, Eren’s arms have both been ripped off, and Ymir is still missing an arm and half a leg.<br/>  “(y/n) are you okay?” Eren asks, moving towards me.<br/>  I glance down and at the base of the tree titans surround us. I have no gear on, no blades to work with. I can’t even bite my own hand to transform. I’m trapped.<br/>  My whole body quivers. “What’s going on?” I look between Eren, Ymir, and Bertholdt but no one answers me. “Someone tell me what’s going on.” I shriek.<br/>  Reiner’s eyes turn on me, they are soft and friendly. The face of someone I knew. He starts rambling on about the Krista and the Survey Corps, about getting promoted. His eyes light up even more.<br/>  “I’m still not sure how Jean of all people landed a girl like you (y/n). You are really something.” He says happily.<br/>  My face falls and the anger swells inside me. “What the hell is wrong with you Reiner?” I snap. <br/>  “He’s lost it.” Ymir comments. “He’s got a split personality.”<br/> Reiner snaps from his daze, a darkness grows over his features. Bertholdt hasn’t said anything as he sits looking out over the land. There is sadness in his eyes, I feel sorry for him for a moment before I remember everything he has done.<br/>  Eren starts having a go at them. I sit in silence as I glare up at Bertholdt. The people I thought I knew, the people I called friends once were actually the root of our problems all this time.<br/>  “Murders!” Eren screams at both of them.<br/>  This triggers Reiner and they start a screaming match. My gaze drops to the ground where the titans gather. They claw at the base, my eyes meet with an abnormal lying at the bottom. Big, bottomless eyes. My mind falls away from everyone’s words, no longer wanting to hear anymore. No longer wanting to be here.<br/>  I get up from my spot and move over beside Ymir. She gives me a side glance but doesn’t say anything.<br/>  “Who would’ve guessed you were a titan shifter?” I laugh bitterly.<br/>  She returns the same laugh. “Same goes for you. I just thought you were some crazy orphan adopted by the Survey Corps.”<br/>  “I am that as well.” I say. “I thought this was like a gift when I found out but now I see it causes more grief than anything else.”<br/>  Reiner lands on the branch in front of Eren who is already getting riled back up. This ought to be good. He calms down and backs away from Reiner which is not like Eren. Out of nowhere he attacks him and they start fighting with one another. I make no attempt to help, not in my condition at least.<br/>  Bertholdt lands in between Ymir and I. They exchange words so casually. My blood starts to boil, I spare a glance over at Reiner and Eren who are still fighting. This is my chance. With the little energy I have, I launch myself off the branch biting down on my half regenerated hand.<br/>  A flash engulfs me as I hit the ground. Titans charge at me from all sides and I start tearing heads. I can hear the voices from above, taking a risky glance I see them take off. Eren strapped to Reiner’s back unconscious.<br/>  I tear a 3 metre titan from my calf, splitting it down the middle before charging after Reiner and Bertholdt. They make easy work through the tall trees. A roar erupts from me, making Ymir look back at me. Her eyes are narrowed.<br/>  Another 15 metre titan side swipes me, delaying my advances. It attaches itself to my head, it’s teeth crushing down on my skull. I reach around to it’s nape and dig my claws in, ripping it clean off. It falls to the ground and I rise once again. There is no way they are getting away from me that easily.<br/>  When I catch up to them, Ymir is in her titan form clinging from a tree. My friends surround her. My eyes fall on Jean and all I want to do is embrace him. Go back to being human and feel his touch.<br/>  Krista emerges from the tree, the only person she would be waiting for. She leaps from her spot capturing the poor girl in her jaws before taking off. Another flash of light catches my attention. I take off before anyone latches onto me. This isn’t a fight for the scouts.<br/>  Reiner runs through the trees, his armoured form on display. Bertholdt swings onto his shoulder. Ymir jumps on his back.<br/>  A roar echoes from my chest making them look back at me. I start to lose control and I embrace it. My body tenses as I take off after them. Reiner may be armored but it slows him down. My muscles contract helping me pick up speed.<br/>  My friends swing onto me as I slowly advance on Reiner. I keep my attention off them, the last thing I would want to do is hurt them. I have two targets. Reiner and Bertholdt.<br/> The team swings into action jumping on Reiner. I can hear their voices but I can’t hear what they are saying. Why aren’t they attacking him? I can’t do anything until they are all out of the way.<br/>  On the horizon I spot Erwin and the scouts with a very large amount of advancing titans behind them. The team abandons Reiner as he runs head first into the titans. I follow after him. Nothing is stopping me. Titans attack both of us. He is easily overpowered.<br/>  An abnormal jumps out of nowhere biting into my arm, another one surprises me on the other arm. I’m pinned.<br/>  I look up just in time to see Erwin being carried off by a titan. Rage takes over. I’m not losing anyone else. Using all my willpower, I slam one titan into the other. Their jaws loosen allowing me to slip away. I pick them both up by the heads and smash them together until they no longer resemble faces.<br/>  Reiner grabs onto my leg dragging me back over to him. Titans soon start to overpower me. I roar out but Reiner smashes my head into the ground. </p><p>My body is slumped up against someone as they ride. I glance up with next to energy left. Armin. A smile comes to my face.<br/>  “Thank you.” I gurgle out.<br/>   Armin looks back over his shoulder. “We aren’t safe just yet. Hold on tight (y/n).”<br/>  A titan flies over our heads smashing into the ground. I tighten my hold on Armin and look back. Reiner is throwing titans at us, trying to slow us down.<br/>  Riding through the dust and steam, Jean catches up to us. Tears run down my cheek as I look over at him. He’s alive.<br/>  “Hey beautiful,” he smirks. “Glad you’re alive.”<br/> I’d blush but my body is too weak to do much at the moment apart from smile at him like an idiot.<br/>  He gives me once last wink before riding ahead of us. A titan comes flying over head once again but this time the force knocks Jean off his horse. Armin jumps off to help, I manage to slip off, quickly limping over to them both. <br/> Heavy footsteps come from behind. I grab out Jean’s blades but I can’t do much with no gear. Armin and I are back up against a tree, Jean out cold. My heart is racing in my chest and I bite down on my hand but nothing happens. I do it again in a panic, blood splatters my face.<br/>  There is no point. I toss a blade aside and put my arm around Jean’s body bringing him in close to me one last time.<br/>  “I love you, Jean Kirstein.” I cry, placing a kiss on his head.<br/>  Suddenly the titan retreats, no longer interested in us. Armin and I share a look of complete loss and confusion before watching as the titan goes after another. Before I can say anything Armin whistles out. Two horses come running over to us. I quickly help him with Jean on that back of his horse and get on the other. <br/>  As we take off, I spot another horse. We are going to need as many as possible to get everyone back behind the wall. We find Eren and Mikasa. Safe and alive. We retreat under Erwin’s command.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter Sixteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING - NSFW AHEAD. 18+ Side note - Jean and (y/n) are of legal age in this.<br/>Can be read up until *** and then NSFW will start</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everytime I close my eyes, I see blood. Blood from years and blood from days. Everything stained red, tainted with the colour. The colour that comes at our search for freedom.<br/>  Erwin sits in his bed. His arm missing, the stubble from neglect growing on his face. Levi sits nearby looking out the window. My own thoughts clouded with death, all the ones we lost. Though it could have been much worse but it all could have been avoided.<br/>  “You don’t have to stay here. I do have Levi for company.” Erwin smiles over at me.<br/>  “I can’t face anyone right now. I feel much less like a failure in this room than out there with the survivors.” I admit.<br/>  “You didn’t fail anyone.” Erwin reassures me.<br/>  I shake my head. “I got captured. I let them go. I was tricked into believing they were actually my friends and that they ever cared for any of us.” I snap. “I’m so naive.”<br/>  “They tricked us all. There is no use in dwelling on it.”<br/>  I sigh. “You can say all you want but it won’t make me feel any better about what’s happened. I failed in my mind and only I can change that.”<br/>  Levi looks over at me, his eyes dark. “Learn to live with it but don’t let it defeat you. Do you think Erwin and I haven’t had people in our lives we have failed? People under our command who entrusted their lives to us.”<br/>  I stand from my seat. “I’ll keep that in mind. I need some fresh air.”<br/>  “Take some time, I’m fine.” Erwin says.<br/>  “Go piss off the other brats like you used to. Start a fight between Eren and horse face if you must.” Levi says.<br/>  A smile comes to my face, a genuine smile. “You mean Eren and my boyfriend.”<br/>  Levi’s eye twitches at the word boyfriend. “I will never understand what you see him in as potential partner material.”<br/>  Erwin chuckles. “Leave them be, Levi. They have very much proven that they are capable of having a romantic relationship as well as maintain their roles in the Survey Corps.”<br/>  “Thank you, Erwin. Now if you excuse me gentleman I’m going to go find him.” I wink at Levi.<br/>  He gets to his feet but Erwin holds out a hand to him. There is some muffled discussion as I leave the room but I don’t stay back to find out about what.<br/>  Jean is outside talking with Armin and Eren as I approach. For once Eren and him aren’t at each other's throats.<br/>  “Afternoon, guys.” I greet them, standing across from Jean.<br/>  “(y/n)!” Eren exclaims. “How are you?”<br/>  “Good, I’ve recovered from all my physical injuries. You?”<br/>  He gives me a half smile. “I’m all recovered as well. Have you just been with the Captain and the Commander?”<br/>  “I have. Erwin is healing well but it’s still a shock to see him in that condition. I’m just glad he’s alive.”<br/> Jean moves forward and embraces me tightly. We really haven’t had a chance to talk since we all got back. I was pulled away to monitor my healing while he was taken to the infirmary for his injuries.<br/>  “I’m glad you’re alive. The last thing I remember was racing ahead of Armin and you before being hit by a titan.” Jean whispers.<br/>  “We’ll leave you two to catch up.” Armin says softly.<br/>  He grabs Eren and pulls him away. Once they have vanished around the corner, Jean grabs me by the face staring down intensely at me. Tears brim the edges of his eyes. I slip my hand up between his arms placing a soft hand on his cheek.<br/>  “I held onto you when you got thrown off your horse. I thought that was the end for all three of us.”<br/>  “I don’t want to go through that again. I want you by my side every step of the way.” Jean says.<br/>  “Kiss already.” Connie shouts out a window from above.<br/>  “The sexual tension is killing us.” Historia joins in.<br/>  Jean and I laugh but don’t move away from each other. His eyes have life in them again. He rubs his thumb over my cheek.<br/>  “Should we give the people what they want?” I ask with a smirk.<br/>  “As much as they don’t deserve it, I think we should.” he clears his throat. “You know for humanity’s sake.”<br/>  He presses his lips against mine and I weave my arms around the back on his neck. His tongue traces along my bottom lip and I open my mouth a little. Cheers and whoops come from the window above. I feel Jean’s lips turn up into a smile making me smile even more.<br/>  He pulls back just enough allowing us both to breath. “Do you want to move this somewhere more private?” <br/>  “I think that’s a good idea.” My lips just brush his.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>                                               <strong>                  *  *  *</strong></p><p> </p><p><br/>  Jean snatches my hand dragging me back inside the barracks. He pulls me down the hallway standing outside Bertholdt's old room. My face drops.<br/>  “Why are we here?” I ask.<br/>  “I know this is kind of the last place you want to be but it should hopefully be the last place Levi looks if comes for you.” He explains opening the door.<br/>  We walk inside. All of Bertholdt’s belongings have been removed, leaving a single dresser and a bed. Though the bed is still made which is strange. Then it all clicks into place.<br/>  “You planned this, didn’t you?” I say smugly staring up at Jean.<br/>  A dark red blush takes over his face as he looks back at me. “I did. I just wanted a moment alone with you. We are always surrounded by everyone, especially you.”<br/>  I take his hands in mine. “You’re amazing, you really are Jean Kirstein.”<br/>  He laughs to himself. “I know that but hearing you say it makes it all so much more real. You bring out a side of me I never knew I had.” <br/>  “Being brave enough to stand up to Levi?” I ask with a smile.<br/>  He chokes. “That will never happen.”<br/>  I move away from him and sit on the bed. “You already have. You think any other guy here would have the balls to date me knowing Levi is my guardian? Do you think they would be able to flirt with me in front of him?”<br/>  He comes to stand in front of me. “When you put it that way, I sound as crazy as Eren.” he sighs. “Might as well seal my fate then.<br/>  Before he can do anything, I grab him by the shirt yanking him down. He lands on top of me, his hands either side of my head. <br/>  “And, how do you plan to do that?” <br/>  He doesn’t answer verbally, he presses his lips against mine. Hunger and passion bleed from his touch as he pushes his body down into mine. Trapping me under his form. I crave for him to be closer.<br/>  His hand drifts down my side, fingers digging into my waist. My fingers fumble over the buttons on his shirt, pulling them free one by one.<br/>  Jean leaves my lips and reattaches himself onto my neck. His teeth graze the soft skin causing a small moan to leave me. A small chuckle rises from him, his laughter vibrating through me.<br/>  “I could get used to that noise.”<br/>  I smack his arm playfully. “Don’t be an ass.”<br/>  He places small kisses along my neck, stopping here and there to bite down. “I’m not lying. I want you all to myself.”<br/>  I finally free the last button as he brings his face up so he can look at me. “I could live in this moment forever with you.”<br/>  A smirk grows as he sits up removing his shirt. “Well I’ll make it a moment you can forever relive.”<br/>  He tears my shirt from my torso, throwing it aside. My hands fight the buckle on his belt. He drops back down kissing and biting his way down to my breasts, pausing only for a second between them.<br/>  His hands slip underneath me as he tries to unclip the back of the bra. He grunts out in frustration as he wrestles with it.<br/>  “Why are these so difficult?” he groans in my ear.<br/>  My hands drop from his belt and I carefully push us both up into the sitting position. I reach my arm around, his fingers bump into mine. I carefully squeeze the clips together and it pops undone.<br/>  “I would have gotten it.” He pouts.<br/>  I can’t help laughing a little, making him blush some more. “And by the time you had Levi would’ve found us. Didn’t know you wanted to die a virgin?”<br/>  His eyes narrow, he shoves me backwards onto the bed. His fingers wrap around the strap, slowly pulling it down my arm and away from my chest. The pupils grow as his gaze lingers over my bare breasts.<br/>  “You’re perfect.” He whispers.<br/>  A blush consumes my face. I feel so exposed as I lie beneath him half naked. I gotto cover myself up and Jean places a hand on the side of my face. His eyes meet mine again.<br/>  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he questions.<br/>  I nod. “I do. I wouldn’t let you go this far if I hadn’t.”<br/>  “If at any stage you want me to stop just let me know.”<br/>  “I will, honestly. But for now take these pants off.” I say tugging on his belt.<br/>  A cheeky smile comes to his face as he unbuckles his belt with ease. He moves off the bed, dropping his pants. I take the chance to remove mine, along with my underwear. My heart is thumping away in my chest, it makes me a little light headed and giddy. <br/>  Jean comes to stand before me only in his briefs. He carefully pulls the pants from my hand, dropping them behind him. He crawls back on top of me, his skin like electricity against mine. His hand is shaking as he places it on my hip, his eyes are so intense. The hand on my hip moves down further and down in between my thighs making me gasp loudly.<br/>  “Wow, you’re pretty wet. Is this normal?” He asks with concern on his face.<br/>  My glides up the side of his neck. “It’s normal, trust me.” My voice barely a whisper.<br/>  He relaxes a little. “Good,” he slowly slips a finger inside me.<br/>  “Fuck.” I moan as my walls contract around his finger.<br/>  “Does that feel good?” He asks.<br/>  I nod just as he slips another finger inside me. Another moan escapes me as he starts to move them in and out. My hands make their way into his hair, fingers curling around whatever I can latch onto. <br/>  He picks up the pace and my moans get louder. His head drops down into the crook of my neck, his breathing uneven. <br/>  “You’re going to get us caught.” He teases.<br/>  “That’s not my fault, you’re just good at this.” I pant.<br/>    He bites down on my neck, I automatically arch my back in response. “Are you ready for me yet, beautiful?”<br/>  “I think so.” I answer.<br/>  He pulls his fingers from me and places them in his mouth. My core clenches at the motion as I watch him suck my juices off my fingers. His eyes never leave mine as he does so. I never thought Jean could be like this.<br/>  “You taste amazing.” he growls as he pulls his dick from his briefs.<br/>  My body retracts a little at the size of it and I look at him wide eyed which makes him panic a little.<br/>  “You’ll kill me with that thing.” I say.<br/>  He looks down at himself and back at me. “Did you want to stop? I didn’t think this would be the problem.” <br/>  “No, you’re just going to have to be very careful.” <br/> He presses his forehead against mine as he slowly lines himself up with me. “I will be nothing but careful with you.”<br/>  He presses himself against my entrance and I brace myself for him, trying to relax as much as I can. He gently pushes himself in, pain pinches at me and I grab onto the bed sheet. Jean’s breathing becomes harder as his eyes roll back. The pain subsides and my body craves for more of him.<br/>  “You’re so tight.” he moans loudly.<br/>  “Fuck me, Kirstein.” I growl.<br/>  His eyes are almost black as something changes in him. He wraps an arm around my waist, tightening his hold on me. My arms go to his back, hands splayed over his muscles.<br/>  “Hold on, beautiful.” He demands before slamming into me.<br/>  My head rolls back as he keeps up the pace, moans leaving my lips with every thrust. My fingernails drag down his back as he groans my name over and over. Sweat builds between us, his skin sticking to mine.<br/>  I can feel myself getting closer and as though he can read my mind, he presses his lips against my exposed neck. Biting and sucking in the same spot. Pure ecstasy rolls over me.<br/>  “Cum for me.” He growls into my neck.<br/>  I can’t find it in me to form a sentence as I open my mouth. I call out his name as my body explodes with pleasure. My face searing hot as I tighten around him.<br/>  Jean digs his fingers into my back and I know he can’t be too far off as I go limp in his hold. His whole body tenses up as he keeps pounding into me. His voice gets louder with each thrust. No hiding it anymore.<br/>  His cum shoots into me as he watches me from above. His chest heaving as he slowly comes to a stop. He pulls out collapsing beside me, both of us absolutely exhausted.<br/>  “Jean?” I ask quietly.<br/>  He barely lifts his head to look at me. “Are you okay?”<br/>  I run my fingers through his hair pushing it back off his forehead. I lean forward enough to place a kiss on his forehead. “Thank you.”<br/>  He  wraps his naked body around mine, tangling our limbs together as we still try and catch our breath. He tucks my head into his neck placing light kisses on my skin while his fingers interwine with mine.<br/>   “Thank you too.” He whispers.<br/> My eyes close as I drift of to the rising and falling on his chest against mine. </p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter Seventeen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door opens and Jean walks in with an armful of sacks. I move away from the window I’ve been cleaning and help him out. Eren whips his head around at Jean, glaring at him.<br/>  “Did you wipe your feet before coming in? You know how Captain Levi gets.” Eren scolds Jean.<br/>  In response Jean rolls his eyes, sighing as he dumps a sack on the bench. “No, I didn’t. If you hadn’t noticed I was a little busy when I walked in.”<br/>  “He’ll kill us if this place isn’t spotless. He’s given us plenty of time to clean it up and then you stomp in here with your dirty boots and ruin it all.”<br/>  “Look, Jaeger. I don’t need another mini Levi in my life or my case right now.” Jean sneers back as his arm snakes around my waist.<br/> This really starts up Eren and he starts having a go at Jean. The two start bickering like usual. Out of the corner of my eyes, I spot Sasha slips a bread roll into her bag. I’m not the only one who sees this. Armin catches her out and another argument breaks out.<br/>  There is no such thing as a boring day with these people. <br/>  Jean lets go of me to intercept our disagreeing friends. I lean up against the door frame with a smile as I watch them yell at each other while Eren waves his broom around.<br/>  Levi walks in, shooting me a brief look before wiping his hand under the bottom side of the table. Pulling it back out, he narrows his eyes at his fingers. Probably at a tiny spec of dirt that no one else in this room would be able to see apart from him.<br/>  “Oi, brats. I gave you plenty of time to clean this place up.” He sneers.<br/>  Everyone freezes mid argument to stare in fear at Levi.<br/>  “What did you really expect from us?” I snort coming to stand beside him.<br/>  “I’m surprised anything actually got done between Jaeger and Kirstein.” Levi comments. “Eren, (y/n), Hanji wants both of you to get some practice in with hardening.”<br/>  “(y/n) already has plenty of practising with hardening Jean so Eren should be no problem for her.” Connie cracks.<br/>  The room falls silent. My eyes are wide from shock, Jean’s face is bright red. Sasha snorts loudly with laughter breaking the silence in the room. Jean launches himself at Connie and Armin has to jump in to hold him back. I can basically feel the hatred pouring off Levi as I sneak a glance at him. His eyes are narrowed in on Jean, Connie, and Eren.<br/>  “I don’t get it. Jean can’t harden, he’s not a titan.” Eren suddenly says.<br/>  Levi’s face twitches in disgust. “Hurry up and get ready. I’ll be outside.” He says darkly before walking out the door without another word.<br/>  Armin is only just holding back Jean from ripping Connie limb from limb. Sasha is whispering something to Eren, this couldn’t get any worse. Mikasa and Historia give me a pained look.<br/>  Eren lets out a choking noise and a pure look of disgust crosses his face as he makes eye contact with me. “Why would you even want to touch Jean like that (y/n)? That’s disgusting.”<br/>  My face flushes hot and now everyone is staring at me. This is not a subject I wanted everyone to start discussing. As far as Jean and I were aware of, no one knew of what we had been getting up too. <br/>  “I refuse to stand here and have this conversation.” I put my hands up. “I’ll be outside waiting with Levi.” I exit before anyone can question me further.</p><p><br/>Perched on a cliff above a clearing, we all watch as Eren fails to shift again. He really isn’t having a good day. His titan body is barely forming to its full potential. And for some reason Levi is punishing me for Connie’s earlier comment. Everytime I suggest I have a go, Levi avoids all eye contact with me and snaps a no.<br/>  Mikasa and Hanji remove Eren from his titan form.<br/>  “Come on, Levi. This is getting ridiculous, just let me have one go at this.” I whine.<br/>  He closes his eyes, sighing. “Just one chance. We can’t stay out here too much longer.”<br/>  “Finally,” I swing down into the clearing.<br/>  Jean rides over to me on his horse, taking my gear from me. His fingers trace over my softly as I pass him my tanks. He gives me a wink before moving out of the way. I climb up on top of Eren’s disintegrating titan. I roll up the sleeves on my top, steading my hand in front of my mouth waiting for the signal from Hanji.<br/>  “Remember (y/n), we only need you to harden a small portion of your skin to test on.” Hanji calls out from above. “Ready when you are.”<br/>  I give her a thumbs up. Taking a deep breath in and calming myself down. My hand shakes as I bring it close to my mouth. My teeth pierce the skin and nothing happens. I bite down again, splitting the skin even further. Blood drips from my open wounds as some steam rises.<br/>  “Let’s call it a day,” Hanji announces from above giving me a sympathetic look. “It’s okay, (y/n). We will try another day.”<br/>  I shake my head. “I can do this. It’s just taking a little longer than usual.”<br/>  “I said one chance, not a hundred.” Levi says.<br/>  “No! I can do this. Just be patient.” I bite down over and over again with no result.<br/>  Hanji comes down beside me and pulls my hand free from my mouth. “Don’t worry about this for now, we can work on it later.”<br/>  I yank my arm away from her. “I can do this!” I snap. “If I can't, then what’s the point of all of this. Of me even being able to shift.” My fists ball up at my side. “I could have taken Reiner and Bertholdt that day. I could’ve stopped so much unnecessary death.”<br/>  A weight starts bearing down in one of my hands. I tear my eyes away from Hanji and look down to find a crystal substance starting to form on my hand. Hanji takes a hold of my hand as we watch in pure amazement as it consumes my hand, growing up my arm.<br/>  “You did it.” Hanji cheers, yanking on my arm.<br/>  Levi steps down from his spot on the cliff, with his blade in hand. In one swift motion he slices through my arm, letting it drop into Hanji’s care. I stumble backwards with a hand clasped firmly over the stump.<br/>  “The hell, Levi.”<br/>  He lands beside me. “You’re an idiot, we don’t need two shifters crystallised in our basement.” Levi states.<br/>  “Maybe some warning next time then please. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I can just have my limbs hacked off.”<br/>  Jean jumps off his horse and collects me up into his arms, carrying me bridal style. “Are you okay?”<br/>  “I’m fine. This will regenerate in no time.”<br/>  Hanji is frozen in place with my crystalised arm in her grip. Her eyes are glazed over as she idiolises it. A few incoherent noises leave her. Levi gives me a distasteful look.<br/>  “We have what we need for now. I’m heading back with Hanji, the rest of you head back to the cabin.” He turns to face Jean and I. “Kirstein, make sure she rests up. We need her healed and ready to go asap.”<br/>  “Yes, sir.” He answers, carrying me back to his horse.</p><p><br/>We are all gathered around a table listening to Hanji. Apparently someone has killed Pastor Nick and while I wasn’t too keen on the guy myself, Hanji seems visibly upset. I reach out my hand and place it on hers. She gives me a grateful smile before carrying on.<br/>  A lot has been going on by the sounds of it while we have been hiding out here. <br/>  Another scout comes running in for Levi, she passes him a note saying that it’s from Erwin. My ears prick up at this. Levi’s face grows grim.<br/>  “Get your gear, now. We’re leaving, make sure it looks like we were never here.” Levi suddenly commands.<br/>  We jump into action. I dart to my room, grabbing all the gear I can. Levi comes in passing me a small handgun.<br/>  “Keep this on you at all times, don’t let anyone know that you have it.” He says.<br/>  “What about this one?” I ask, holding up the shotgun.<br/>  “Bring that along as well, let's get going already.” He leaves the room as I grab the last of my things.<br/>  Jean sneaks in, he is all ready. He quickly grabs me by the waist pulling me into a deep kiss. I fight the urge to push him down onto the bed, we need to get out of here. Jean breaks the kiss before I can, taking my hand and pulling me from the cabin.<br/>  We all meet on a nearby hill, the cabin still in our sights. A group of Military Police barge in, guns at the ready. Without that message from Erwin we all could’ve ended up like Pastor Nick or worse.<br/>  Levi, Hanji and her squad start devising a plan. Jean is glued to my side, his hand brushing my side. He leans down so his mouth is close to my ear.<br/>  “Please be careful no matter where you go.” <br/>  I take a hold of his hand and squeeze it tightly. “It’s going to take more than some Military Police bastards to kill me.” I answer.<br/>  “Okay, let's get going.” Levi announces. “(y/n) come with us for the meantime.”<br/>  “Yes, Captain Levi.”<br/>  Under the darkness of night, we make aim for Trost. Levi unfolds another plan on the way. Armin and Jean will be disgusting as Historia and Eren. Jean lets out a groan but doesn’t argue, he knows what’s at stake here.<br/>  “We don’t even look alike.” Eren says.<br/>  “It doesn’t matter, he just needs to look a little like you just in case.” Levi explains.<br/>  Both boys sigh in defeat. In all honesty, I didn’t like the idea of using Jean as bait in place of Eren but then I didn’t want anything happening to Eren as well. <br/>  Titans I can fight off but now that humans are now targeting us, this makes everything more complicated. Levi must have a bad feeling if he’s given me an extra gun.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter Eighteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Levi pulls me to the side once we get into Trost. Jean gives us a side eye but doesn’t intercept. He already has the brown wig on and is looking extremely dissatisfied with his life right now. Armin is about the same.<br/>  “What’s happening?” I whisper to Levi even though we are out of ear shot of everyone.<br/>  “I need you to get a hold of a Military Police jacket.” he starts.<br/>  I pull one from my bag. “Like this one?”<br/>  His face screws up a little and gives me a confused look. “How did you get that?”<br/>  I start taking off my plain green jacket and slipping on the Military jacket. “I have my ways.” I say, his eyes narrow at me. “I got into a fight and stole it.”<br/>  He rolls his eyes. “That’s not important at the moment, I need you to blend in with them and keep an eye on us from far.”<br/>  “Don’t you think someone might recognise me?” I question him.<br/>  Levi grabs me by the head, turning it to look at Jean and Armin. “We have those two dressed up as Eren and Historia. I think you will be fine, maybe just do something with your hair.”<br/>  “Okay, sure.” I said moving away from his hold.<br/>  Levi moves back over to the group, automatically lecturing Eren on something he just did. I start plaiting my hair as I go to join them. I pull some hair to the front and grab my blade out. Jean’s mouth falls open as he watches me cut myself some bangs.<br/>  “How do I look?” I ask turning to face him.<br/>  His face lightens back up and there is a slight pink blush on his face. “You look amazing.” <br/>  “You look amazing.” Eren mocks from behind him.<br/>  Jean’s eye twitches but he chooses to ignore him for once. He places a hand on my face. “Never thought I’d ever see you in a Military Police uniform but damn do you look good in it.” He compliments me.<br/>  I tap his arm softly. “Thank you, you look pretty good as a brunette.” <br/>  “Never say that again.” He deadpans. “I’m meant to look like Jaeger, don’t go complimenting anything about me at the moment.”<br/>  “Even (y/n) thinks I’m better looking, horse face.” Eren laughs.<br/>  Jean takes a step forward and I put a hand on his chest stopping him in place. Levi pulls Eren aside. While everyone is distracted, I lean in close to Jean.<br/>  “Don’t worry about him,” I whisper, tracing my finger over the edge of his collar. “I find you very, very attractive, Jean Kirstein.” I say seductively.<br/>  Jean’s eyes are wide as he looks around us in a panic. “You’re going to get us in trouble.” He whispers back.<br/>  “Levi is busy with Armin and Eren at the moment so -”<br/>  I’m cut off by Jean’s lips on mine, his hands on my hips tucking me into his body. I put my arms over his shoulders.<br/>  “All I can see is (y/n) making out with Eren.” Connie comments from beside us.<br/>  We pull apart and look at him. He shrugs with a smile.<br/>  “You three stop pissing around and get over here. We need to leave.” Levi snaps at us.""(y/n) leave ahead for us and start scouting.”<br/>  “Oh, I’m going to enjoy this.” I say clapping my hands together.<br/>  “Be careful, we don’t know who to trust at this stage.” Levi warns.<br/>  I pull the hand gun out making sure there is enough ammo in it. Everyone takes a step back. I flash them a smile as I tuck it away in my bra.<br/>  “I may be terrible at hand to hand combat but I have a deadly aim.” I wink at them before walking out the door.</p><p> </p><p>The streets are filled with people, a couple of stares linger on me as I walk by. A few Military Police pass me and we share a mutual nod. Who would’ve thought that it would be this easy to infiltrate them?<br/>  Out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadow flicker over a building edge. Not reacting, I keep on my course through the streets. I need to know if there are more of them before making my move. <br/>  Someone yells from behind me, kicking me straight into action. I swing around, just in time to dodge a carriage tearing through the streets. I know Jean and Armin are probably inside. Mikasa and Levi take off after it. I sneak down an alleyway where some maneuver gear has been left behind some crates.<br/>  All buckled in, I take off. Staying out of the mainview of people. In the distance I spot Levi and Mikasa crouching on a rooftop. They found them. I swing through a broken window of a damaged building. Inside has been long abandoned.<br/>  I watch them from afar, Levi takes off and Mikasa disappears into the building. Looks like everything is going according to plan. My silence is broken when a foot fall catches my attention. Spinning around, gun in hand, I come to face an unfamiliar man.<br/>  “Who the hell are you?” I question him.<br/>  He doesn’t answer, instead he fires a shot at me. I duck just in time and toss myself out a nearby window. I don’t like this one bit at all. Levi’s voice rings through the air, catching me off guard. Shots can be heard.<br/>  I glide in and out between buildings, heading straight for the source of gunshots. I find multiple people firing after Levi. Keeping my gun close, I land on a nearby roof, hiding behind a chimney.<br/>  Someone runs passed and without hesitating, I fire. They crumple to the roof tiles before falling to their death. I take a quick breath in. I don’t have much ammo so I’ll have to be careful with it.<br/> Levi passes by me, soon followed by the rest of our team. I join them. Jean gives me a look of relief.<br/>  “Don’t hesitate,” Levi says to us as we follow after the cart with Eren and Historia on it. “They will take any chance they get to kill you.<br/>  A figure appears, I drop before they can fire. Swinging back round and shooting them in the back of the head. They fall away. Jean gives me a scared look.<br/>  “Armin, Jean secure the cart.” Levi commands. “The rest of us will cover.”<br/>  They nod and go straight for the cart. I keep close to them, cutting down any who get too close. The gun now tucked in my belt. A bullet grazes my arm, catching me off balance. I spin into a window, crashing into the floor.<br/>  Gathering myself, I get off the floor. Steam is already rising from my wound but that doesn’t stop the pain pulsing through my arm. From the window, I spot Jean with a gun pointed at his head. A scream leaves my mouth as I clamber from the building. Blood sprays through the air, Armin with a gun in his hand.<br/>  My heart eases but I jump straight back into action. Sasha and Levi jump to their rescue pulling them from harm's way just in time. The cart is soon taken from us disappearing through the gate. I land on a nearby rooftop. <br/>  “Levi?” I plead.<br/>  He grabs Mikasa just in time and shakes his head at me. Jean comes to land beside me, he doesn’t touch me.<br/>  “Retreat.” Levi commands.<br/>  We don’t stop for any other commands, taking off back into hiding.</p><p>Jean and I sit across from each other in the forest. He has barely spoken to me since I shot someone in front of him. I can’t blame him for keeping his distance, Armin hasn’t been too good on the topic either. There is no way of justifying it to them, the only one who really understands is Levi. But we don’t discuss the matter.<br/>  “Someone is coming.” Sasha says.<br/>  I peel my eyes away from Jean and look around. We are all silent as the sounds of footsteps grow closer.<br/>  <br/>Levi stands in front of a scared looking Hitch and Marlow. They really thought they had the upper hand with us. Jean and I stand away from them, keeping a watchful eye out for others but still listening into them.<br/>  HItch mentions Annie’s name. My blood boils and Jean grabs onto me, shaking his head before I can do anything. He knows me too well. Levi explains to them that Annie is the female titan. My chest aches at the thought of her, Reiner, and Bertholdt’s betrayal of us and humanity.<br/>  “Sasha lead them away.” Levi commands.<br/>  Jean approaches Levi. “Captain, do you mind if I escort them?”<br/>  Levi raises an eyebrow, giving him a brief look over. “Knock yourself out.” he says. “(y/n), come over here for a moment.”<br/>  Collecting my bag, I jog over to him as Jean leads Kitch and Marlow away. Levi pauses as everyone moves ahead.<br/>  “Trail after them, don’t make yourself known.” He says in a hushed tone.<br/>  I nod and quietly take off after them. I follow the three of them through the forest keeping my distance. Jean eventually stops them. I can hear him talking to them but I’m just out of ear shot of what he’s saying.<br/>  Creeping forward, I pick up the threatening tone in Jean’s voice. That’s new. He launches himself forward, tripping and dropping the knife. Not one of his best moments. Marlow grabs it but Jean is quick to get back on his feet, shoving him against the rock face.<br/>  I pull the rifle from my back, aiming it up just in case. Hitch makes a run for it but I don’t dare drop my aim from Marlow. <br/>  The two boys start up a conversation, Marlow physically shaking as Jean holds him in place. I never knew he had this side to him. It’s kind of attractive.<br/>  Marlow tosses the knife away and Jean relaxes his hold. Out of nowhere Hitch smacks him in the face with a branch. My instincts kick in and I race through the folerage. Marlow holds his hands up, protesting any further attacks on Jean.<br/>  My sudden presence startles them apart from Jean who peeks out of one eye at me. A crooked smirk comes to his face.<br/>  “About time you showed yourself.” He comments.<br/>  “Wait, you were following us this whole time?” Hitch asks, a little taken back.<br/>  I sling the rifle onto my back. “There was no way I was going to leave him by himself with two Military Police.”<br/>  “You’re her, aren’t you? The other titan shifter like Eren?” Marlow asks.<br/>  I move over to Jean helping him off the ground. “That would be me. But I don’t understand how you know about me but knew nothing about Annie being a titan.”<br/>  “There are stories of you going around the Military Police.” Hitch jumps in.<br/>  “Knowing the Military Police, they are all probably rumours anyway.” Jean interjects rubbing his face where he got hit.<br/>  My attention moves from the two police and Jean. I place my hand gently on the side of his cheek, he leans into it.<br/>  “Are you okay?” I ask.<br/>  He nods. “I’m fine. Nothing I’m not used to. Eren generally hits harder than that.”<br/>   Marlow clears his throat. “From what I’m seeing right now, those stories about you are very wrong.”<br/>  “They said you’re some kind of cold blooded killer, raised by the Survey Corps as a super soldier.” Hitch says.<br/>  Jean and I share a look before cracking up laughing. Hitch and Marlow awkwardly join in, not sure on how to take our sudden outburst.<br/>  “We should get you both back to Levi, he will be grateful for the help.” Jean states wiping away a tear.<br/>  “Oh, by the way those rumours aren’t too far off. I was raised by Commander Erwin along with Captain Levi and Hanji. They did train me when I was younger but I’m no super soldier.”<br/>  “I’ve witnessed her shoot a couple of people.” Jean states. “To save us though, not because she’s a cold blooded killer.”<br/>  Both their faces fall, making me laugh to myself.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter Nineteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am taking a weeks break just to catch up on everything so the next chapter will be published on the 7th April</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jean and I sit away from everyone else as Levi interrogates a captain from the Military Police. The idiot keeps opening his mouth meaning Levi just ends up beating him even more.<br/>
  Jean’s fingers trace down the side of my arm but he’s not looking at me. His eyes are focused into the darkness surrounding us. I tuck my body up closer to his, embracing the heat that radiates from him.<br/>
  “How did you do it?” He questions quietly.<br/>
  “Do what?” I answer looking up at him.<br/>
  His eyes move to meet mine, filled with confusion and hurt. “Kill a person.”<br/>
  Lacing my fingers through his, I look away from him, “Trust me, I didn’t do it without remorse. I just had a choice to make. Their lives or ours. I can’t lose anyone else, Jean.”<br/>
  He places a finger under my chin, tilting it upwards to look back at him. “You did something I couldn’t bring myself to do and I love you for that. You saved us.”<br/>
  “There is something deeply scarring about watching the light leave a person’s eyes.” I say. “I’ve seen multiple people at the hands of titans but it’s not quite the same.”<br/>
  Jean presses his lips against the top of my head. “You did what you had to do. I’m here for you. Let’s just hope you don’t have to do that again.” He mumbles against my forehead. <br/>
  Sasha and Connie jump to their feet, not far from us. They point out into the thick of the grass and bodies can be seen moving through it. Jean and I split apart, arming ourselves.<br/>
  “We’re surrounded.” Sasha says.<br/>
  Two people emerge from the grass, guns aimed. Hanji and Moblit relax at the sight of us. They really are a sight for sore eyes.<br/>
  “Are we glad to see you all.” Hanji smiles. “We come bearing some good news.”<br/>
  Moblit and her explain to us what has been going on in our absence. She hands Levi a piece of paper and we gather around him as he reads it out loud.<br/>
  “We are free of all charges.” He announces.<br/>
  Jean grabs me around the waist, swinging me into the air. The others jump and cheer. He brings me back down, landing a kiss on my lips. Right in front of Levi with no hesitation. I bring my arms around his neck as I kiss him back.<br/>
  A whistle comes from behind us, we pull apart remembering where we are. Hanji has a loving look on her face as she watches us. Levi shakes his head but makes no comment.<br/>
  “Jeez, you two need to go get a room.” Connie remarks.<br/>
  “Over my dead body.” Levi says as he moves over to Hanji. “What’s the plan from here?”</p><p>Celebrations are cut short when Hanji explains that she thinks she may know where Historia and Eren are being kept. Before we know it, we are heading out once again. To face who knows what lies ahead of us. My mind and body are beyond exhausted but there is no time to stop and rest now, if only we had known what was coming our way we could have prepared ourselves.<br/>
  Jean and I ride our horses side by side. We have fallen back behind the cart. The air is thick with tension, knowing we need to get to Historia and Eren as soon as possible.<br/>
   Hanji, Levi, Armin, and Mikasa talk up ahead. It’s one of those moments that I know I should be listening in to, that at some point my opinion will be asked for but I can’t seem to focus my attention on their conversation. A dull nausea sits in the lower part of my stomach and I can’t seem to shake it.<br/>
  “Are you alright? You don’t look too good.” Jean asks from beside me.<br/>
  I give him a small reassuring smile. “There’s just a lot going on at the moment and I just feel a little overwhelmed, I guess.”<br/>
  “Let’s hope once this is all over, we can go back to some sort of normalcy.”<br/>
  I nod but don’t answer, focusing my attention ahead of me. I know he’s just trying to help and be supportive but deep down I know there is no such thing now. Too much has happened, between Annie, Reiner, Bertholdt, and Ymir also being titan shifters, and now Historia and Eren have been captured. This is not what any of us signed up for. It was meant to be killing titans and fighting for humanity.<br/>
  Levi looks back at me, there is a dark look in his eyes. He motions for me to come up beside him, I do as I’m told not really in the mood for one of our usual arguments.<br/>
  “That look on your face, what’s wrong?” He asks.<br/>
  This captures the attention of Mikasa and Armin. I don’t spare them a glance. Hanji keeps her back to me but I know she will be listening to every word I have to say.<br/>
  “Just tired, Captain. That’s all.”<br/>
  His eyes narrow and he knows damn well that there is more to it than that but doesn’t push the conversation any further than that. It won’t be the last I hear of it though.<br/>
  “Okay, just keep your mind focused for now. The sooner we get those two back and figure out what this whole shit show is about, the sooner we all get to rest.” He states. “Let’s go over this plan, once more as I assume you weren’t listening.” <br/>
  A small laugh comes from me. “You know me too well, Captain.”</p><p> </p><p>Crouched and ready above the cellar door in the Riess family chapel we all share looks of concern but determination. <br/>
  Levi and Hanji had gone over the plan thoroughly with me. As we were heading underground, under no circumstance was I to shift just in case. We had no idea what we were stepping into down there and a titan could possibly hinder us more than benefit us.<br/>
  “You’re all about to dirty your hands.” Levi says, glancing at each of us. “Are you all ready?”<br/>
  No one makes a sound or a movement out of place. Levi’s eyes come to stop on me, he’s depending a lot on me right now. Trying to shape me into a better soldier. <br/>
  “I will take that as a yes.” He says before deploying the plan.<br/>
  Armin shoves the barrels down the stairwell. Jean kisses his hand before placing a kiss on my cheek. The barrels below explode and Levi slips away. His voice echoes through the cavern below shouting commands.<br/>
  I’m first in. The smoke covering me. Swinging down, I watch as Kenny’s squad starts to separate, making them a much easier target for me. I can hear the rest of our team behind us but I keep my focus on taking these bastards down.<br/>
  A shot fires from behind, barely missing me. I quickly change direction, hiding in the smoke. Words of aggrativation leave the person. I come around behind them, slicing the back of their neck. A loud grunt comes from behind, Sasha has taken one down that had snuck on me.<br/>
  “Thank you,” I call out before vanishing back into the smoke.<br/>
  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Levi going after Kenny. As much as I want to help Levi, I know that it will only result in me being injured or worse killed. Levi was already a challenge for me to take on and Kenny will be even harder.<br/>
  Jean swings passed me, his face stern for a moment but he passes he gives me a quick wink. A smile comes to my face, that boy will be the death of me I swear.<br/>
  The smoke starts to clear up leaving us more open to attack. Hanji goes after blondie as I come to land beside Sasha. The next thing we see is Hanji being grapple hooked in the shoulder and thrown into a pillar. I don’t hesitate for even a moment to go after her.<br/>
  A shot rings from behind me, hitting me in the side. I don’t stop as the pain flares up. Crashing into the ground beside Hanji, I hold her close, checking her breathing.<br/>
  Above me, Jean and Connie make quick work of my assailants before dropping down to me. The rest of Kenny’s Squad retreats. Levi is down with us in moments.<br/>
  Armin comes to Hanji’s aid as Levi and Jean pull me away. My hands are trembling, covered in her blood. I can’t lose her.<br/>
  “I’m fine.” I snap, trying to swat them away.<br/>
  Jean gets a tight hold on my shoulder and forces me to sit down. His eyes are dark and I have to admit he looks a little frightening for a moment. <br/>
  “Just sit still for a moment, they have got her.” He snaps back. “We need to make sure you’re okay.”<br/>
  “I will be fine, it will regenerate.” I wave him off.<br/>
  “That’s not the point here!” His voice starts to rise. “You can’t keep making stupid descions and nearly getting yourself killed all because you will regenerate. Don’t you know what it does to me to see you hurt. I know deep down you will be okay but that doesn’t stop me from worrying. So stay down, shut up, and let me take a look at you.”<br/>
  The whole squad has stopped what they were doing to look at us both. I keep my mouth closed and Levi moves away from me to help check up on Hanji.<br/>
  “Sorry.” I whisper, keeping my head down.<br/>
  He tilts my face up towards his, that dark look he had before is now gone. His eyes are much softer and tender. “Good, never thought I would really hear you say that.” He says.<br/>
  I snort and shake my head. “This will be the last time.” I say, moving to check my side. “Look, there you go. It’s healing just fine.”<br/>
  “You’re so goddamn stubborn, you know that?”<br/>
  “Look at the people who raised me and tell me how I couldn’t have turned out stubborn. Erwin, Levi, and Hanji are the worst for not listening to people.”<br/>
  A bright light suddenly fills the cavern and Jean shields me with his body from the blinding light.<br/>
  “What’s happening?” Sasha calls out.<br/>
  “Someone is shifting.” I call back. “That light is all too familiar.”<br/>
  “Eren?” Connie asks.<br/>
  Jean helps me to my feet. “Only one way we are going to find out.”</p><p>Eren is shackled down, Krista is desperately trying to free him. We all move into action as a titan forms before us. Eren is sobbing, telling us to leave him to be eaten and some other bullshit. Jean finally snaps on him.<br/>
  “Will you quit your whining, Jaeger.”<br/>
  Eren is released from his shackles, the heat from the steam forces us all back against the wall of the cavern. I take Eren’s hand and give it a quick squeeze as he gives me a look of sadness and concern.<br/>
  “We aren’t going to let anyone eat you. There is no point in whatever you have been babbling about. I didn’t come all this way, risk myself for you to be fed to that thing.” I say. “What or who is that anyway?”<br/>
  “Rod Riess.” Eren answers.<br/>
  We all stop dead, staring at the titan forming in front of us. Another titan shifter? Where are they all coming from? Where did I come from? Once this is all over, I hope to find out. Get some idea of who I am in this crazy, messed up world.<br/>
  Jean moves his arm around my waist as though reading my thoughts. The ceiling of the cavern is starting to break away even more, getting out of this pit is looking pretty slim now.<br/>
  Eren is shaking beside me, his hand still in mine. He is staring down at his free hand. My mind sparks an idea. It will be a long shot, a huge risk but we don’t have much to lose right now.<br/>
  “Hardening.” I yell at Levi.<br/>
  He gives me a side eye. “Can either of you do that to an extent that won’t get you killed?”<br/>
  Eren brings his gaze to mine and we share a look. His eyes suddenly dart over to something behind me but I don’t move to look. There is an air of hesitation around him and I can’t blame him. We really haven’t had the training or time to practice hardening. There is no guarantee either of us will be able to pull it off.<br/>
  “I hate to do this again to you Eren but you need to make a choice here.” Levi calls out.<br/>
  My hands drop away from Eren’s. Levi never considered me for this. Eren shoots me a quick look, like somehow I hold all the answers to what he’s needing to know. He suddenly takes off, snatching something from the ground, before throwing himself off the ledge. It happens all so fast. Another flash of light engulfs us.<br/>
  Jean uses his body to protect me, my face pressed into his chest as his hands rest firmly on my waist holding me in place.<br/>
  A loud cracking rings through the air. Jean and I turn to see Eren’s titan form crystalizing, creating a reinforcement to stop the ceiling from fully collapsing.<br/>
  “Everyone get under Eren.” Levi commands.<br/>
  We all take shelter under Eren’s looming form. Jean keeps me close. His hold on me is tight and tense as we all wait for it all to stop.<br/>
  After a few moments, Mikasa and Levi move to free Eren from his crystalized titan. Jean steadily leds me out, he’s so careful with me as though I’m made of glass. <br/>
  “I’m not going to break.” I whisper to him as we look up at the crystal titan.<br/>
  He gives me a side glance. “I was making sure you wouldn’t break Eren. I’ve seen what you’re like.”<br/>
  I hip bump him, shaking my head. “You can’t say much, Kirstein.”<br/>
  Levi comes to stand in between us, acting like he hadn’t just separated us. “This could be potentially useful for sealing up Wall Maria.” He states.<br/>
  I shoot him a dirty look. “Wanna push in again?”<br/>
  He ignores me before walking off. “Let’s head back up.” <br/>
  “You should’ve put your arm around him.” I say to Jean.<br/>
  His face falls. “You’re crazy, you know that right?”<br/>
 <br/>
We return to the surface where Hanji is a little more stable now. I run over to her, kneeling down beside her. She opens an eye and gives me a pained smile.<br/>
  “Good to see everyone made it out alive.” She says.<br/>
  “Would’ve been better if you hadn’t been injured.”<br/>
  She closes her eye, taking in a sharp breath. “That was my own fault, I got too cocky. I should’ve been more wary.”<br/>
  Levi approaches us. “We need to get going. (y/n) ride with Hanji, keep an eye on her.”<br/>
  I stand up as Moblit and Armin help Hanji onto the back of a cart. She groans a little as they lie her down. Moblit is frantic about her.<br/>
  “She will be okay.” I assure him.<br/>
  He nods but I know he won’t listen to a word I say. I kneel down beside Hanji as we start off after Rod. She glances over at the hole in my shirt.<br/>
  “Looks like you’re a little worse for wear yourself.”<br/>
  I laugh. “I would hardly call this worse for wear. You seem to forget I’ve had limbs cut off, been thrown off walls, and had my ass handed to me by Levi.”<br/>
  She chuckles. “You have a point there. At the end of the day, knowing that you can regenerate and heal keeps a piece of my mind sane.”<br/>
  I pat her arm. “I think it keeps a lot of people sane considering my history of running head first into everything.”</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter Twenty</h2></a>
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        <span>Jean stares at me and I stare right back with just as much intensity. Marco stands off to our left with his partner, keeping a watchful eye on us both.</span>
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        <span> “You know you really suck at this, Kirstein.” I comment, not breaking eye contact.</span>
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        <span> He snorts. “Coming from the likes of you, that’s rich.”</span>
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        <span> We start circling one another. Fists held in defense mode, not that it would really matter that much anyway. We both suck at hand to hand combat, we know it, everyone knows it. Shadis gets a kick out of watching Jean and I absolutely fail at it, our awkward stances, terrible footwork, the list goes on.</span>
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        <span> “I’m placing a bet on (y/n) this time.” Reiner calls out.</span>
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        <span> I smile in response. “I’m going to kick your ass.” </span>
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        <span> “Stop talking and start throwing some punches.” Connie yells.</span>
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        <span> This seems to fire Jean up, he takes a swing at me. I quickly dodge and trip him over. As he falls backwards, he latches onto my arm dragging me with him. I land on top of him, knocking the air from his lungs.</span>
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        <span> Marco quickly jumps in to help us both. He pulls me off Jean before I can get a hit in. Jean is hunched over, trying to catch his breath while Macro is having to hold me back.</span>
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        <span> “Don’t kick a man when he’s down.” Marco says, trying to calm me.</span>
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        <span> “If he had stayed down, I wouldn’t want to kick him right now.” I snarl.</span>
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        <span> Shadis comes over before I can get to Jean. “I’m calling it a day since everyone seems too invested in this little gambling ring.” He shoots a dark look over at Reiner and Connie. “(y/n), stay behind, There are some matters to be discussed.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> Everyone breaks off. Marco helps Jean move away, he flips me off behind Shadis back knowing damn well I can’t do a thing about it. Once everyone is out of ear shot, Shadis motions for me to follow him.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “What’s this all about?” I ask. “I’ve been training hard, listening to you from time to time.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He lets out a subtle laugh. “You’re doing fine though I’m sure Levi would be disappointed to see you slacking off with hand to hand.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I shrug. “Can’t say he really trained me well enough in that. I was basically a moving punching bag for him.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “That does sound like him. You would have flown through hand to hand if he had trained you.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I roll my eyes. “I get it, I suck. Now, tell me what’s this all about? I still need to go and hand Kirstein ass to him.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He stops. “Erwin wanted to pass along that he and the other scouts are going outside the wall for another expedition.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I sigh and look down at my hands. “Levi and Hanji too?”</span>
      </p>
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    <p></p>
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        <span> “Yes, all three are heading outside the wall.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I nod. “Okay… thank you for letting me know.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He places a hand on my shoulder. “I will let you know as soon as they are back.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Appreciated.” I give him a half smile before walking off.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I walk in the opposite direction of the dining hall, not really feeling up to being social now. The sun is starting to set as I make my way up a nearby cliff that overlooks the training grounds. Sitting down with my legs dangling over the side, I take in the peace and quiet of my surroundings. I always hate when they have to go outside the wall, I hate knowing I can’t go with them, be by their side.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “So, this is where you are?” A voice comes from behind me.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> Looking back over my shoulder, I find Jean standing behind me with his hands on his hips with a stupid look on his face.</span>
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        <span> “Can you bother me another time please? I’m not in the mood for you right now.” I say, moving my attention away from him.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He comes and sits down beside me. “That’s unlike you. Less than an hour ago you were trying to fight me and now you want me to go away.” He states. </span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Well, if you keep talking that urge to fight you is going to come back with a burning passion.” I warn.</span>
      </p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
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        <span> “Is everything alright? You don’t seem like your usual annoying self.” He asks.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I huff and look at him. “I’m fine, I just want some space. Is that too hard to ask for right now?”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He holds his hands up in defense. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I saw Shadis and you talking, has something happened?”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I shake my head. “I’m just going through some stuff right now and I just need to clear my head. And, I can’t do that if you’re pretending to be nice to me.”</span>
      </p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
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        <span> “Good thing I’m not pretending then. Do you want to talk about what’s happened?”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> Jean’s whole face has softened, a side of him I’ve never really seen especially towards me. He’s always got some stupid expression plastered on his face, always looking like he is better than everyone else.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I fiddle with my fingernails. “It’s not what happened but what’s happening.” I answer.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He smiles at me. “That’s a good start, so tell me what’s happening that has you not wanting to kick my ass.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I laugh a little and smile. “I always want to kick your ass, Jean. Never forget that, okay?”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Trust me, I don’t think you will ever let me. I’m fully expecting one day, when I’m in the Military Police, for you to come up behind me and just kick or punch me.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Well, who would want to miss out on the opportunity. Especially with how you stand half the time, looking like a target and all.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He nudges my shoulder with his. “Okay, I get it but you’re getting off topic. Tell me what’s happening?”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I lean back and gaze up into the sky. “I know this will be hard for you to understand as you consider the Survey Corps to be a bunch of mentally deficient idiots but I have family that have just gone outside the wall on an expedition.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Wait, I thought you were an orphan.”</span>
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        <span> “Yes, I am technically. My parents were killed when Wall Maria was breached but I was taken in by some Survey Corps members. Raised by them and now consider them to be family.” </span>
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        <span> “So, you’re worried about them?”</span>
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        <span> “I am and I know it’s a waste of time doing so.” I sigh. “I just can’t wait to graduate so I can fight alongside them. Prove to them that raising me wasn’t a waste of time.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> Jean rakes his long fingers through his hair and I have to take a second to clear my mind. My thoughts are straying a bit too far away. I’ve always found him to be attractive but his personality really knows how to get on my last nerve.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Makes sense why you want to join now.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “Does that make me less mentally deficient now?” I ask with a smile.</span>
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        <span> He cracks a loud laugh. “Like hell it does, I still think you’re crazy but I understand your reasoning for joining. Though you’d have a better life in the Military Police.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> I look at him from the corner of my eyes. “Would you really want me to join the Military Police? That would mean I could harass you for the rest of our lives.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> He turns to face me. “You have a point there. Keep with your plan to join the Survey Corps.”</span>
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        <span> I nod and return my gaze to the setting sun. A cool breeze brushes past us and I pull my jacket closer to me. There is nothing but peaceful silence between us. It’s strange having Jean so close and us not trying to start an argument over nothing. </span>
      </p>
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        <span> I peek a glance over at him. His brown eyes are focused on the training grounds below. The last rays from the sun hit him at just the right angle, making him appear to be glowing. He suddenly clears his throat causing me to jump.</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “See something you like?” He teases, his eyes now on me.</span>
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        <span> I screw my face up in an act to cover my red cheeks. “I was just thinking about how funny your face would look if you got sunburnt right now.”</span>
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        <span> “What? It’s nearly dark.”</span>
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        <span> I roll my eyes. “I can see that, I was meaning if there was enough heat left in the sun.” </span>
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    <p></p>
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        <span> “I wouldn’t be just casually sitting up here in the middle of the day anyway.” He argues.</span>
      </p>
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    <p></p>
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        <span> “You’re really frustrating to talk to, you’re aware of this right?”</span>
      </p>
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    <p></p>
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        <span> “Have you had the displeasure of meeting yourself? He fires back.</span>
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        <span> I get to my feet, looking down at him. “Oh, I know I’m annoying. Trust me, I have people that remind me all the time.”</span>
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        <span> He gets up, standing over me. “Well you have one more.”</span>
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        <span> “I’m going to bed now, hopefully I'll try and get a good night's sleep.” I turn away from him and start to walk away. Pausing and half turning back to him with a smile. “Thank you for talking to me. It’s helped.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> Jean blushes a little but smiles back at me. “You’re welcome. Have a goodnight.”</span>
      </p>
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        <span> “You too, Jean.” I say before walking off. </span>
      </p>
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</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter Twenty One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Cannon fires fill the air around us as we watch, ready, for Rod’s titan to get closer. Nothing seems to work on him, not Eren, not canons. Erwin seems a lot more hopeful than myself right now, even with his one arm.</p><p>  “(Y/N), can I talk with you in a moment?” Erwin asks.</p><p>  I nod. “Of course, Commander.”</p><p>  He walks off and starts discussing something with another scout. Levi, Sasha, Connie, and Jean are standing further down the wall getting everything ready. Jean’s eyes glancing over at me, he smiles a little everytime I catch him. He really makes this life worth living especially through all those sleepless nights and difficult days.</p><p>  Commotion from the other end of the wall captures my attention, Armin and Mikasa are holding Eren back from what looks as though he is punching himself. He really hasn’t been himself since we recused Historia and him. He seems quieter as though there is a lot going on in his mind, I know he was babbling a lot when we got to him but I never expected it to carry on like this.</p><p>  A hand lands on my shoulder making me also jump out of my skin, I’ve been so on edge since we devised this plan. I turn to find Erwin looking down at me.</p><p>  “What did you want to talk about, Commander?” I ask.</p><p>  He closes his eyes and smiles. “I’ll never get used to you calling me commander.” he laughs to himself a little. </p><p>  “I don’t think it would go down well if I started calling you eyebrows like I used to as a child.”</p><p>  He opens his eyes back up. “Erwin, is also another choice for what you can call me.”</p><p>  I shrug. “That just seems too easy to me.”</p><p> “Hard way or the highway for you, right?”</p><p>  “I wouldn’t want it any other way. I like to give Levi a run for his money.”</p><p>  “Who would’ve thought that that little orphan child that we found, would grow up to be an amazing soldier.” </p><p>  I roll my eyes with a smile plastered on my face as I watch Rod approach. “Are you talking about Levi or myself.”</p><p>  He squeezes my shoulder. “Both of you.” He looks down at me. “Are you ready for this?”</p><p>  I bring my attention back to him, he has a stern look on his face. “As ready as I'll ever be.”</p><p>  “Good, now go join Levi and the others and wait for my orders.” He instructs.</p><p>  “Yes, Commander Eye Brows.” I wink at him before jogging down the wall.</p><p>  Once I approach Levi, I realise that Rod has reached the wall. The canons have done nothing to him. He starts to climb up and everyone gets into position. I move to stand behind the others. Jean gives Levi a quick glance, realising he’s busy with something else, and places a kiss on my cheek.</p><p>  “Be careful.” He whispers.</p><p>  I roll up my sleeves and smile at him. “I never am, I think that’s what keeps me alive.”</p><p>  He sighs, shaking his head before moving back to his position. Levi shoots me a look over his shoulder and gives me a small nod. I return it, my body tense with anticipation.</p><p>  Rod rises up over the side, his whole face is missing from being dragged through the ground. Screams from people below rise, panic already taking over the town. My hands sweating from a mixture of my own anxiety as well as the heat coming from the titan.</p><p>  Eren transforms and I’m not far behind him. Barrels of explosives are rammed into Rod’s arms, blowing them to bits. His body comes crumbling down, this is our chance. Grabbing the bag of explosives set aside for me, I take off. Eren running to meet me in the middle. My mind is focused on one thing. </p><p>  Killing this bastard.</p><p>  At once, Eren and I throw the explosives into the titan’s mouth. There is a brief moment of nothingness before they ignite. We are both blown backwards and I lose my footing over the edge of the wall. </p><p>  My titan lands on a few houses at the base of the wall. I stare up at the scouts that jump from the wall, slicing through pieces of Rod’s titan. I get to my feet, looking around making sure I didn’t land on anyone.</p><p>  A couple of kids stand only metres away from me, frozen in fear as they stare wide eyed at me. This is probably the first time they’ve seen a titan. I remember the first time I saw one, saw Bertholdt and Reiner destroy our lives.</p><p>
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  <em>Playing outside in the grass amongst the daisies, I make a crown for myself. My mum and dad only a couple feet away arguing about something. I was always told not to listen in. I always did what they said, never a foot out of line, or else.</em>
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  <em>  A small breeze blows by knocking my new flower crown from my head. I pout and put it back on my head. I turn to call out to my parents to show them my new creation.</em>
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  <em>  A flash of light illuminates the top of the wall. My eyes wide with amazement soon turn to horror. Staring down on the town is a titan. A loud crack comes from the wall's gate. Stone flies through the air, crushing buildings in its path. Screams and cries of terror disorientate me as I try to find my feet. </em>
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  <em>  As I stand, a large piece of stone crushes half of my house. Dust and small bits of derby scatter, something sharp cuts the side of my face. Titans pour in through the hole. My body no longer responds as I stand shaking in fear. </em>
</p><p><br/>Jean swings down landing on my shoulder, I don’t take my eyes off the kids. They seem almost shocked at how close Jean is to my mouth. I feel him press his hand to the side of my face, he is talking to me but nothing makes sense to me in this form. Dropping down to my knee, I reach a hand up and touch Jean. </p><p>  He places his other hand on mine and smiles at me. I lean my head forward and with a rush of steam I emerge from the back of my titan. Jean quickly moves to help me out. He wraps his strong arms around me, lifting me up.</p><p>  “How are you doing?” He says moving away from my disintegrating titan.</p><p>  “Not everyday I fall off the wall but I’m good.” I look over at the kids who are still trembling. “Let me down.”</p><p>  Jean pauses for a moment before noticing the kids. He does as I ask and places me on my feet, the stones cut into them. I carefully walk over to the small children coming to kneel before them.</p><p>  “You guys are safe now.” I say with a smile.</p><p>   “Did you come from that titan?” The smallest girl asks with curiosity in her eyes.</p><p>  I look back at my titan’s looming form before bringing my attention back to the kids. “I sure did. I helped stop that titan who was trying to destroy the wall.”</p><p>  Silence is shared between them before they suddenly pounce on me. Their little arms wrapped around me in a tight embrace.</p><p>  “You’re so cool.” One chimes.</p><p>  Jean walks up behind me with a smile on his face. “Who would’ve thought you’d be popular with kids?”</p><p>  I snort ignoring him. “Well, we should go find your parents' little ones.” </p><p>  They move away from me with excited smiles on their cute faces. Two of them latch on either one of my hands and another one takes Jean by the hand. At first his face is shocked and he gives me an unsure look.</p><p>  “Looks like we are both going with them.” I state.</p><p>  Jean relaxes. “Looks as though we are.”</p><p><br/>Levi finally catches up with me as Jean and I wave goodbye to the kids. He looks down at my bare feet with a look of disgust.</p><p>  “How are you walking around like that?” He questions.</p><p>  “No one brought me my boots so I’ve had no choice but to walk around like this.” I answer.</p><p>  “Kirstein here couldn’t get you any?” Levi’s eyes now on Jean.</p><p>  Jean scratches the back of his neck. “Well, I was going to bring her back to get changed but she wanted to help some kids.” </p><p>  Levi raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question him further. “(y/n) go get your gear on. Erwin wants us to go scout the Reiss family chapel.”</p><p>  “Yes, Captain.” I say.</p><p>  “Kirstein, take her back and then join the others.”</p><p>  We both nod before Jean sweeps me up into his arms. He swings through the streets with ease. Landing outside the Military Police station where my gear had been dropped earlier. Walking inside, a couple of Police give us the side eye. Jean puts his arm around my shoulders, staring straight back at them.</p><p>  Once inside the room, Jean pushes me into a wall. His lips on mine as he kisses me deeply. Since we were forced into hiding, we haven’t had a moment alone. Especially with Levi hanging around.</p><p>  His lips move away from mine and trail down my neck. My fingers run through his hair as I press my body against his. His arms wrap around my waist as he brings his face back up to mine. He places a soft kiss on my cheek.</p><p>  “I want you now.” He whispers.</p><p>  I place a hand on the side of his face. “I know you do but if I’m not back out there with Levi soon, he will come looking for me and he will kill you.” I whisper back.</p><p>  He tucks some loose hair behind my ear. “We will continue this later then.”</p><p>  I link my hand into his and squeeze it. “Good because I’ve missed spending alone time with you.”</p><p>  He gives my hand a squeeze back. “So have I. Now get ready before Levi starts a manhunt for you.”</p><p>  I laugh. “More like a manhunt for you.” </p><p>  Jean slips out of the room and I change into my gear. I grab a gun on my way out. Levi is waiting for me along with another scout. </p><p>  “About time. I thought Kirstein was up to no good.” He comments.</p><p>  I pat him on the shoulder. “Not when you're lurking around.”</p><p> </p><p>Out by the Reiss Family Chapel, Levi and I walk through what was the cavern before Rod destroyed it. Guns on the ready. There isn’t much left. A couple of bodies scattered here and there. What was left of Kenny and his squad.</p><p>  “What are we looking for?” I ask.</p><p>  Levi keeps walking. “For survivors.”</p><p> “Are you hoping to find Kenny?”</p><p>  His shoulders tense up a little. “I have questions for him. Ones that only he can answer.”</p><p>  Suddenly a scout comes running over to us, puffing and looking a little scared.</p><p>  “You look like you’re going to shit yourself.” Levi spits.</p><p>  “Captain, we found Kenny.” He finally gets out.</p><p>  Levi and I are on it before anything else can be said. Coming back up, Kenny is leaning on a tree barely alive. A smirk grows on his face as Levi and I approach him, the scout not far behind us.</p><p>  “You’re dismissed, soldier. (y/n) stay here.” Levi commands.</p><p>  The scout hesitates for a moment, glancing over at me. I give him a reassuring nod before he takes off. I keep my gun pointed at Kenny as I stand by Levi’s side.</p><p>  “This one has the same killer instinct as you did when you were younger.” Kenny coughs, looking at me. “I’m quite impressed to be honest.”</p><p>  “Look at you, barely alive.” Levi states. </p><p>  Kenny grabs something from his jacket and holds it out. A small box with a vile and a needle in it. I move a little closer to get a better look. There is something familiar about it, the colour, the needle.</p><p>  “I could do it, I’d be a mindless titan but I wouldn’t die.” He laughs.</p><p>  “You would’ve done it by now if that was the case.” Levi snides.</p><p>  Pointing the gun at the box. “What is it?” I ask.</p><p>  Kenny chuckles to himself, a little blood dribbling down the side of his face. “This is what Rod used to change into that titan of his. Not like you would need it though.”</p><p>  My eyebrows furrow and I get an uneasy feeling in the pit on my stomach as I keep staring at the vile. I have seen it somewhere before. Somewhere in my past but everything in my mind is a little cloudy as I try to think about it.</p><p>  Levi kneels down before Kenny and starts asking him about the Ackerman family and his mother. I watch them talk but my mind keeps going to the vile. Was something like this used on me? But when and why can’t I remember?</p><p>  “Your mother was my sister.” Kenny says before coughing up more blood, spattering it on Levi’s face.</p><p>  My head comes back to reality with that comment. Kenny is Levi’s uncle. Kenny starts mumbling about humanity being addicted to things, alcohol, power, women… He holds out the vile to Levi who takes it standing back up. I lean over his shoulder getting a closer look at it. This would give anyone who took it the power to be a titan but at what cost?</p><p>  We look back down at Kenny. His eyes are still open but he is void of any life, finally having succumb to his injuries. I place a hand on Levi’s shoulder.</p><p>  “I’m sorry.” I whisper to him.</p><p>  He puts the box safely into his pocket before looking at me. “It was bound to happen sooner or later with him.”</p><p>  “At least you know your last name now. What family you belong to.” I say.</p><p>  “Definitely explains a few things. Now hopefully with this vile, we can get some answers for yourself and that ability of yours.”</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter Twenty Two</h2></a>
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      <p>2 months later -</p>
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      <p>Sitting in the grass of a field, I watch Historia chase after a couple of kids. I relish in the calm and serenity of the scene. The last couple of months have been pure hell for me. Training has been full on, Eren and I have been pushing each other to master hardening our titan forms. It is taking its toll on my body, not that I would mention that to Jean or Levi.</p>
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      <p>So, to be able to relax in this moment is pure bliss. A couple of kids come running over to me, sitting on my lap and leaning into me.</p>
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      <p>“Miss (y/n), can you stay here with us forever?” One asks with wide, hopeful eyes.</p>
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      <p>A smile comes to my face. “But then who would protect the walls.”</p>
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      <p>This gets them thinking, they suddenly point over to the boys leaning against the fence. Armin, Eren, and Jean are talking to one another, looks like Jean is harassing Eren once again.</p>
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      <p>“They can, you can stay here and be a Queen with Miss Historia.”</p>
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      <p>I tap my chin looking over at the guys. “That is a tempting offer but I need to keep those three in check. Who do you think is the better soldier? Them or me?”</p>
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      <p>“You are. I bet you can beat them all with your hands tied behind your back.” One of them pipes up.</p>
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      <p>I laugh, capturing the guy's attention. Jean’s face lights up as he watches me. I give him a quick wink.</p>
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      <p>“I think he likes you.” The little girl giggles.</p>
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      <p>“Do you think so?” I whisper. “Should I call him over?”</p>
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      <p>“Yes.” She squeals, jumping up and down.</p>
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      <p>I fan myself with my hand. “Okay, wish me luck.” I say as I motion for Jean to come over.</p>
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      <p>He pushes himself off the fence and walks over, there is caution in his eyes as he approaches. The little girl can barely contain her excitement as he stops in front of us, placing his hands on his hips.</p>
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      <p>“What’s up?” He asks.</p>
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      <p>“So, she thinks you like me and I mean, I kind of like you so…” I say, acting up.</p>
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      <p>Jean clicks on and decides to lay on the charm. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the Survey Corps so can you blame me for appreciating you.”</p>
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      <p>The little girl is basically swinging off my arm with a grin plastered on her face. “You two should kiss, that’s what people in love do.”</p>
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      <p>I hold back a laugh as I look at Jean. He holds his hand down towards me and I take it. He pulls me from the ground, instantly resting his hand on my hip.</p>
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      <p>“Only if it’s okay with (y/n).”</p>
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      <p>"You have my permission.” I look into his eyes.</p>
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      <p>He lets go of my hand and places it on the side of my face, his thumb caresses my cheek. “You’re so beautiful.” He says softly.</p>
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      <p>“You’re not too bad yourself.” I answer.</p>
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      <p>He leans forward pressing his lips against mine. I melt into him and feel all my stress just wash away. My hand moves over his on my hip, he shifts it linking his fingers with mine.</p>
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      <p>The kids cheer, making Jean and I smile into the kiss. We pull apart, Jean presses his forehead against mine.</p>
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      <p>“Never leave me (y/n).” He whispers. “I love you too much to know what to do without you now.”</p>
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      <p>“Same goes for you, Jean. I need you by my side.”</p>
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      <p>“You two are so gross, there are children out here.” Eren pipes up from over by the fence.</p>
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      <p>Jean’s head snaps in his direction but before anything can be said, Historia comes marching over.</p>
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      <p>“I can see you boys have been slacking.” She calls out.</p>
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      <p>The kids wave us goodbye before joining the rest. Historia comes to stand beside me as we watch the boys pick up the slack. We follow after them. Mikasa intercepts Eren and pulls the bag from his arms and dumps it in mine.</p>
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      <p>“Eren, needs to be resting.” She says darkly at Historia.</p>
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      <p>I look down confused at the bag and then over at Eren. We have been doing the same training, what is she on? Shouldn’t I be resting too?</p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Jean walks up to me and pulls it from my arms. “If that’s the case (y/n) should be resting as well.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Jean, it’s fine.” I start.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“No, Jean’s right.” Eren says. “Mikasa, (y/n) and I are doing the same training.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>She gives off a small huff before walking off. That was weird. I give Jean a look and he shrugs in response.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“You do need to be resting though.”Jean says as we all start to move off.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>"This is nothing compared to what I’ve been doing.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“That’s not the point, we can’t have you pushing yourself any further. I’ve seen you vomit over the side of the wall after freeing yourself from your titan.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>My cheeks flush red. “Not my greatest moment.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“This is why you need to take it easy. Don’t make me get Erwin and Levi involved.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Oh, so you’re on their side. Since when?”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>He laughs. “Anything relating to you and your health, I’m sure they will back me up on it.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p> </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>As Jean and I are heading down the hallway towards the dining hall, Levi intercepts us. He gives Jean a brief acknowledgement before looking at me with his cold eyes.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“(y/n), Erwin has asked for you to meet him in his office.” He states.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I’m about to eat, can this wait until afterwards?”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Levi’s facial expression doesn’t change which gives me a very clear answer to my question. I sigh and place a hand on Jean’s bicep, feeling his muscle slightly tense under my touch.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Come find me after dinner, hopefully I’ll be done with my meeting by then.” I say looking up at him.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Jean gives Levi a quick glance before nodding. He leans down pressing a kiss to my forehead. “See you later.” He says before taking off.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Levi’s eyes follow him until he disappears from sight. “He’s got some confidence in him, I’ll give him that.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I roll my eyes. “Come on, Erwin’s probably waiting for us.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Levi shakes his head. “I’m not coming, Erwin wishes to speak with you alone. I have other things to attend to.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Harassing or killing Jean better not be the other things you need to attend to.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I’m under strict orders not to do either of those things so you’re both in luck. I was meaning more paperwork.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Have fun with that,” I say, already walking down the hallway.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Inside Erwin’s office, he has his head down, most likely completing paperwork as well. I close the door gently behind me and take a seat on the couch by the window.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Good evening,” he says, not moving to look up.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Am I in trouble?” I ask.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>A smile comes to his face as he laughs. “Not that I am aware of. Have you done something wrong?” He asks.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I look out the window, small lights illuminate windows. “I’m always doing something wrong, that’s why Levi follows me around like a plague.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“He’s just protective of you.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“So, why did you call me in anyway? Especially if I’m not in trouble.” I say turning my attention back to him.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>He finally looks up at me. “I want to catch up with you. I feel like I never see you or get to see how you are. Ever since you joined the Survey Corps, you have been run off your feet busy.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“That’s just part and parcel of this position. Not like I can take a break, there are titans to kill, basements to unlock, walls to fix.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>He nods. “That doesn’t mean you have to work yourself into the ground. I was speaking to Jean about you the other day.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I raise an eyebrow at him. “You two were discussing me? In what context?” I ask.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Nothing bad, he just has his concerns about you. Mentioned that you have barely been eating, that you threw up over the side of the wall after training, and you seem a little more irritated than usual.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I nod my head. “He isn’t wrong but I’m okay. I’m just putting that down to a little bit of stress.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Stress?”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I sigh, bringing my knees up to my chest. “A lot is, has been going on. I might be pushing myself a little too hard trying to keep up with Eren. I don’t want to fail at being a titan shifter, I don’t want this ability to be wasted on me.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Erwin gets up from his desk coming to sit beside me. He places his hand on my shoulder and I lean into him a little, just like I used to as a child.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p> </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em>Levi rips me away from the grip of a very intoxicated and angry Military Police individual. My whole body shakes as he moves me behind him. A hand lands on my shoulder making me flinch, only to find Erwin looking down at me with a kind smile. I latch onto his shirt, knuckles white with fear.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em>“It’s okay, we are here now.” He gently reassures me.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> “What kind of piece of shit picks on a little kid?” Levi growls grabbing the guy by the collar. </em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> “The brat was being disrespectful, calling us Military Bitches.” The guys slurs.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> Levi looks back over his shoulder at me, there is a proud glint in his eyes. “Did you call them that?”</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> I screw my face up at the man. “Yes, that’s what he is.” I spit.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> The guy launches himself forward, trying to get at me. Levi stops him and Erwin leans forward. </em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em>“If you don’t remove yourself from this situation, I will have no choice but to remove you myself… ” Erwin warns.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> The man backs up a little. “You Survey Corps soldiers are really something else.” He says. “Bunch of batshit crazy criminals.”</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> “Rather be that than Military Bitches.” Levi sneers,</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>
        <em> The man looks between Levi and Erwin before deciding it was best not to continue this argument. He backs off without another word.</em>
      </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p> </p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I’ve been thinking,” Erwin starts. “When we return to Shiganshina to fix the walls and find Eren’s basement, we could search your old home.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I turn and look at him. “Why? Most of it got destroyed when Reiner and Bertholdt attacked.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I know that but your parents may have known that you were a titan shifter. There might be some clues to your abilities in that house.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>My eyes glaze over. “I didn’t think about it that way but I’m not against the idea. Though don’t you think Eren’s basement is more important.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I’m sure we will have enough time to go through both of them. You might feel better once you know more about what is happening with you.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I mean, I’d love to know how I got this ability. Answer some of my unanswered questions.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Good, I will sort a team for you to lead.” Erwin stands back up walking over to his desk.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Wait, you mean like my own team?” I ask.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>He looks back over his shoulder at me with a small smile on his face. “Exactly like your own team. If everything goes well on this expedition, I will be considering placing you directly under one of the captains to learn from.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I cross my arms over my chest. “You think I’m good enough for that responsibility? I barely listen to orders.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>He turns back to the paperwork on his desk. “I think you have plenty of room to grow and expand your mind. I’ve seen how you take charge even when you’re not following orders. You go head first into a lot of situations and I want to see that put to good use.”</p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I laugh sharply. “Never thought that would be the thing that gets me ahead in life.”</p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I don’t think any of us expected it either.” He turns back around and hands me some files. “If you want, you can start by going over some of these reports about the day we rescued you.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I look down at the stack in my arms. “I remember everything that happened from that day, why would I need to go over it again?”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“These are from several captains at the time, not all of them were with us at the time. Read over them, they may be of use.”</p>
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  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Do I have to do it tonight?” I ask.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“Tomorrow, tonight just relax. Rest up and go join the others for dinner.” He settles back down at his desk.</p>
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    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>I nod standing. “Thank you, Erwin.”</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“You’re welcome. Have a good night.”</p>
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  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“You too.” I slip from his office and to the dim hallway.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>Levi is leaning against the wall across from it. His eyes move down to the files in my hands and gives me a small nod with a pleased look in his eyes.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I look forward to seeing how you handle your next expedition to Shiganshina.”</p>
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  <div class="jwLWP hLcpP public-DraftStyleDefault-block-depth0 public-DraftStyleDefault-text-ltr">
    <p> </p>
    <p></p>
    <div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr">
      <p>“I look forward to proving myself to all of you.” I say before walking off.</p>
    </div>
  </div>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter Twenty Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jean buries his face into the crook on my neck as we both start to wake up for the day. He had crawled in beside me at some ridiculous hour this morning. He hadn’t knocked like usual, just creeped in and found his place beside me.<br/>  “Do we need to get up?” he mumbles against my skin as his arm tightens its hold on me.<br/>  I run my fingers through his messy hair, noticing how long it’s getting now. I like it. “You need to get up, I have files to read through today so I can stay in bed if I wish.”<br/>  He peeks up at me with narrowed eyes. “Trade places?”<br/>  “Do you even know what I’m looking for in those files?”<br/>  “An excuse not to follow after Eren for a day?”<br/>  I jab his cheek. “That’s why you want out but I’m looking for some clue to my abilities. I know I won’t find the answer in the reports but there might be something worth noting down.”<br/>  “Do you think Erwin can make it a two person job?” He groans.<br/>  “Ask Levi that question.”<br/>  He drops his head back down, letting out a long irritated groan. “This sucks.”<br/>   “Maybe one day, when we are old we can lie in bed all day.” I whisper in his ear. “And just let the day fall away.”<br/>  “I’d love that. Everytime I touch you, I don’t want to let you go. I want to hold you for the rest of my life, to be by your side.”<br/>  I bring his face out of my neck. “I’ll always be by your side.” I kiss his forehead. “Now get up before Levi finds an excuse to kick my door down.”<br/>  He moves to hover over me, his eyes looking down into mine. He doesn’t say a word as he cups my face in his hand. His thumb gently brushes over cheek. I place my hand over his, curling my fingers under into his palm. I close my eyes and press our hands into my face breathing in his scent.<br/>  “You’re amazing.” Jean whispers to me. <br/>  I open my eyes. “You’re just as amazing.”<br/>  He kisses my forehead before gently moving off the bed, his hands slides out of mine and I’m left in bed alone. He picks his shirt up from the floor.<br/>  “Stay out of trouble especially with Levi and Eren.” I warn him.<br/>  He looks back over his shoulder with a grin. “I can’t promise anything with Eren. The aim with Levi is to stay out of sight, out of mind.”<br/>  “As long as you’re with me, you will never be out of sight, out of mind with that man. He probably thinks about you more than I do.”<br/>  Jean shudders in response.  “I won’t be able to look at him the same today. Thank you for that.”<br/>  Levi opens the door without knocking, looking between the both of us. He seems somewhat satisfied by the distance and the amount of clothing we are both wearing. That look of satisfaction quickly changes to disgust as he looks at me.<br/>  “Get your lazy ass out of bed.” He warns.<br/>  “I’m not coming with you today, I have those reports to go through.” I argue back, this makes Jean obviously uncomfortable.<br/>  “You’re not doing them in bed. Get up and get changed, Erwin is waiting for you in his office. Don’t make him wait for you.” He says before closing the door.<br/> “So much for an easy day.” I mutter getting out of bed.<br/>  <br/>Erwin is sitting at his desk once again doing paperwork. This man has a lot to do, he seems to write a report on everything.Hanji on the other hand, if it’s not related to her studies or experiments, writes about three sentences before calling it quits.<br/>  “Good morning, (y/n).” He says, greeting me with a smile. “Heard you planned to spend the day in bed reading.”<br/>  I drop down onto the couch with the files in hand. “That was the plan until Levi destroyed my dream of a quiet day.”<br/>  He chuckles at my response. “You will get more done in here with me watching you. I’ve seen the length of your attention span.”<br/>  “I would’ve done most of it today.”<br/>  “In five minute blocks with a two hour lunch break.”<br/>  I point my finger at him. “Alright, that was a bit too loud. We don’t need to be pointing out my flaws like this.”<br/>  He points his finger right back at me. “Do some work and I will consider a two hour lunch break.”<br/>  “Deal.” I say, flipping open the first report. <br/>  Levi’s name is neatly written at the top, this is about to get real boring.</p><p>By the time everyone returns from seeing Shadis, my eyes feel as though they are about to fall out of my head. After, reading and rereading every report the only information that could be of any use is my house. There is a passage about some strange books written in an unfamiliar language that were found just outside, probably forced out of the house from the boulder. <br/>  After discussing this with Erwin, he does not recall anyone of the scouts mentioning the books to him and to make things worse, no name has been noted on the report. </p><p><br/>As I walk into the dining hall, I see Sasha chomp down on Jean’s hand as Connie tries to hold her back. I pause watching the scene unfold in front of me. She suddenly takes a swing, hitting Marlow square in the nose. Absolute chaos unfolding in front of me and I’m loving every second of it. <br/>  Sasha punches Mikasa in the chest, frozen for a moment, she doesn’t react. Those Ackermans are really bred differently. I move from my spot in the doorway and approach the table as Eren and Connie manage to restrain the rabid Sasha, tying her against a pole.<br/>  I lean up against Jean’s back as I drape my arms over his shoulders. I place my head next to his. My fingers play with the buttons on the front of his shirt, distracting him from his conversation with Marlow.<br/>  “So, you didn’t die of boredom today?” He asks.<br/>  “I wish I had. Do you realise how much detail Levi puts in his reports? Too much. Like I swear half of what he writes is not important.” I groan.<br/>  “But did you find what you were looking for?” <br/>  I slide down on the bench beside him. “Not as much as I was hoping for but I have found something of interest.” I say. “I don’t want to think about that right now. Let’s eat before it’s all gone.”<br/>  “Agreed.” Jean says serving me a plate.<br/>  I dig in, I haven’t had the chance to eat today. And, finally having the chance to have meat again is amazing. I shovel it in my mouth, barely stopping to breathe. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jean, Eren, Connie, and Armin all watching me wide eyes.<br/>  “I think we tied down the wrong girl.” Connie cracks.<br/>  I flip him off as I swallow my mouthful. “Give me a break, I haven’t eaten today. And, who knows when we can have meat again.”<br/>  “When we take back Wall Maria, hopefully.” Eren says.<br/>  “Then let's enjoy this for the moment.” I say, shoving more into my mouth.<br/>  Jean rubs the lower part of my back with a smile on his face. “Don’t choke.”<br/>  I grin at him. “If I die by meat, then I win.”<br/>  He shakes his head as he starts to eat. Everyone in the dining hall is full with cheer and excitement. Finally we have a plan, a solid plan to retake back Wall Maria. Start getting some normalcy back into our lives. Stop being afraid.<br/>  Jean turns his attention to Eren, something stupid comes from his mouth and I know what’s coming our way. Eren doesn’t quite respond at first, this makes Jean mock him even more. Before we know it, they are at each other's throats.<br/>  Armin and I share a look that says it all, we’re not even surprised this happened. All it takes is for Jean to open his mouth. No matter how old these two get, they will always bicker like an old married couple.<br/>  The rest of the dining hall sits back as Jean and Eren throw punches at each other, avoiding the faces. Mikasa happily sits back and watches. There is no point in breaking it up, it’s good for them to blow off some steam.<br/>  Levi walks in and he shoots a glare at me and I just shrug. He gets between the two of them, giving them each a swift kick to the stomach. Both guys drop to the ground, Jean vomits and everyone flinches.<br/>  “Clean that up.” Levi says coldly. “Can’t leave you two in the same room for a minute without you idiots causing shit.” He grumbles.</p><p><br/>I help Jean outside into the fresh air. His arm around my shoulder, his form slightly hunched from all the hits he took to his torso. I sit him down on step, letting him rest up against me. We look down across the city.<br/>  “You didn’t break the fight up.” He states.<br/>  “Not this time. You both have a lot going on, I guess seeing you both that way made me feel like our lives were back to normal again. Like how they were while we were all training.”<br/>  He nods. “He hasn’t been himself lately, not since the whole cavern incident.” He says. “I miss that hot headed Jaeger I know, not this wimpy, cry baby.”<br/>  “I think a part of him respects you for being an absolute ass to him.”<br/>  Jean chuckles and lightly bumps my shoulder, staring down at my face. “I enjoy the reactions I get out of him.” He admits.</p><p><br/>Jean’s POV</p><p>
  <em>She stares back up at me. There is a look in her eyes that has been there since Reiner and Bertholdt were outed as traitors. A look I want to vanish from her eyes, her beautiful eyes. Usually, they hold so much passion and ambition but lately they have been so cloudy. I don’t know what to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Marco drags a girl behind him as he comes over to the table. He practically forces her to sit down across from me, there is a smile planted on his face. Her eyes are on me, wide and filled with curiosity.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  "(y/n), this is Jean Kirstein. Jean, this is (y/n)." Marco introduces us.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>    We share a look, knowing this is being forced upon us by Marco. She breaks the uncomfortable tension by holding her hand out across the table towards me. A flush of heat comes to my face as I take her hand and shake it tightly. Sweat building on the inside of my palm. I wasn’t this nervous meeting anyone else, so why her?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>   "Nice to meet you, Jean." She says as the most beautiful smile lights up her face.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  "Likewise." I answer, turning my head away from her. I can feel my face growing hotter by the second.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  Marco nudges me hard in the side and I shoot him a glare. I can feel her eyes on me and it’s making me feel more flustered.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  "Be nice. (y/n) here wants to join the Survey Corps." Marco explains.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>            My head snaps back in her direction. "Are you mentally deficient?" I couldn’t stop myself, it just fell out. I mentally slam my head into the table as I wait for her response.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  Her face drops and that beautiful smile vanishes. She is looking at me like I just called her ugly. "Sorry, do you not want to fight for humanity?" She questions back.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  "I can do that without getting my ass eaten by a titan." I sneer. </em>
  <br/>
  <em>           She crosses her arms over my chest, smirking at me. "That will be the only thing that will eat your ass."</em>
  <br/>
  <em>  My heart stops and my mouth falls open. I never expected something like that to come from her. Her eyes are bright with determination, like she is egging me on for a response. But my brain is refusing to work. I look like an idiot. I feel like an idiot. I am an idiot.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>       Marco drops his hand on my shoulder before trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.</em>
</p><p>I tuck some hair behind her ear. Who would’ve thought that I would’ve fallen so hard for this brave and ambitious woman. She brings something out in me, a desire to fight, a desire to be the best I can be.<br/>  “Jean, you’re drooling.” She laughs, wiping fake drool off the side of my face.<br/>  I roll my eyes before bringing them back to her. “What do you think the future holds for us?”<br/>  She intertwines our fingers before looking away from me. “I don’t even know what tomorrow holds for us but what I do know is that I want you by my side the whole way.”<br/>  I place a kiss on the side of her head. “I think I can manage that.” I whisper.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter Twenty Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Standing on top of Wall Rose alongside Erwin, Hanji, and Levi we look down on the people below us. For the first time since joining the Survey Corps, people are cheering for us. Cheering for us to take back the Wall Maria and get their freedom back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi looks at me. "Are you ready?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nod. "As ready as I'll ever be."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you to stay on guard. If those two are there, they might attempt to capture you again." His eyes are filled with concern and this whole plan is scaring him. He has already lost so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No way, that's happening again. I'll take them down." I reassure him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A loud cheer comes from a little down the way from us, Sasha, Connie, and Jean are calling down to the people with smiles on their faces. Jean catches me watching and gives me a quick wink. Erwin chuckles from beside me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Young love." He comments.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Disgusting." Levi adds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop being such an old man, one day he will take me off your hands. You realise this, don't you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi narrows his eyes out over the city. "Keep talking."</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I've never felt so edge before and it has nothing to do with me standing on the top of Wall Maria. Eren has just sealed up the first hole with no problem. There are no titans, no sign of Reiner or Bertholdt and that's what is making me so nervous right now. It is all too unpredictable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stand next to Erwin looking over Shiganshina. The devastation that was caused all those years ago, the frightening nights I had to spend alone, hidden fearing for my life. A shiver runs up my spine capturing Erwin's attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How are you feeling?" He asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not great to be honest. Everything just seems a little too quiet. A little too easy." I answer, my eyes not leaving the town below.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods. "I agree but we cannot let this stop us. If we at least seal the walls, we can move onto the next stage of this mission."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Armin comes running down the wall towards us. His face stern as he stops in front of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There are three of them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" I say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There were three people here. I went and investigated below the burn mark on the wall and I found another cup."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, we need to be on the lookout for another person that none of us know what they look like or if they are a titan shifter."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Calm down, (y/n)." Erwin says. "Armin, what do you suggest we do?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Armin explains his theory to us, that Reiner, Bertholdt, and this mystery person could be hiding in the wall. We already know what was discovered on the inside of the walls so what's stopping them from hiding in them. It's a big risk to take with little evidence, it could delay our plans to search Eren's basement and my old home. But Armin is not stupid and it's best to be safe than sorry. We can't risk losing anyone else at this stage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Search the walls." Erwin commands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scouts spread out over the wall, dropping off the side. I go to help but Erwin is quick to stop me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need you to stay put, we have more than enough scouts checking the wall. If anything happens, you need to be able to jump straight into action."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Understood." I say, my heart is thumping away in my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My palms are sweaty as I listen to the tapping of blades on the wall. My breathing almost stops as I keep an ear out for anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flare suddenly shoots up in front of us. All my muscles in my body tense as I run to the edge, barely stopping in time. A blade shoots out of the wall, killing the scout instantly. Reiner emerges from the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi flies past me before I can even react. He swings down sticking his blade straight into Reiner's neck. Reiner slips from his place on the side of the wall, hurtling towards the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body hits the ground. There are a couple of seconds of shared silence among the scouts before a bright light takes over. The armored titan lies in his place, staring up at us. Lights shoot up behind me, I swing around to see a huge, hairy titan standing on the other side of the wall. Other smaller titans surround it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is what I was worried about. Another titan shifter, one that appears to be smarter than Bertholdt and Reiner are. We are trapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The armoured titan hardens his hands and starts making his way up the wall towards us. I pull my blade out, only to be stopped by Erwin. He doesn't say anything just shakes his head at me. I want to disobey his orders, I want to tear Reiner limb from limb. I want to make him pay for all the suffering he has caused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We need to be smart about this." Erwin explains. "Letting you charge right at him could make things worse."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The beast titan suddenly smashes the ground and the smallest titans charge towards the wall. This is not good, it can control titans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Erwin rattles off his plan and everyone splits up. I'm left standing next to him, they have enough scouts to cover the areas. I'm here as a backup. Always a back up and never plan A.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could be done there, killing titans. You know I'm good at that. I don't need to change to do that." I argue as we wait for Reiner to appear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm well aware of your abilities but I need you here. I need to see if you're a target of interest for them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They kidnapped me last time, remember?" I say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nods. "I do know this but I wonder if they did that because you were a threat. It was easier to take you with them than leave you ready with us." He explains. "They are the ones that trained with you for all of those years. They probably know you inside and out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never thought of it that way."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The armoured titan appears over the side of the wall, looking out over the landscape as though he is admiring it. Probably realising how much chaos and damage he has caused for nothing. His head slowly turns to Erwin and I. He seems to pause on us, we remove our hoods, showing no fear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A flash of light suddenly captures his attention. Standing in the middle of our home town is Eren in his titan form. The armoured titan looks between Eren and I as though deciding which one he should choose. He makes a decision as he jumps off the side of the wall, choosing to go after Eren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Go, join Levi. Those scouts need your help." Erwin commands. "Do not, I repeat, do not engage in battle with Reiner or Bertholdt."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I take off without an ounce of hesitation. I swing through the buildings and waves of nostalgia hit me like a ton of bricks, making it harder for me to focus. I whizz passed Levi, slashing at a titans neck before landing on a rooftop. It collapses to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My hands are shaking. Across from me is my old home. The place I grew up in, not the best memories but memories of a time that were quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A hand lands on my shoulder making me jump, my blade swings around, stopping just before Levi's throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Focus, I know it's hard too at the moment but we need you." Levi says.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nod, sucking in a deep breath. My mind is fighting against me. "I need just a moment. There are a lot of emotions here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Make it a quick minute. These new ones won't last too much longer." He says as he jumps straight back into action.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaking the thoughts from my head, clearing my mind of everything and anything that doesn't involve this moment now. I look out over the scouts, Levi is right. The new ones are barely standing a chance against the titans.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A large crash draws my attention away from the oncoming titans. Reiner is smashing Eren into a house. How I'd love to be doing that to Reiner right now. My hand starts shaking, the urge of changing and taking him out is growing worse with every passing minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Levi passes by me. "Moment over, get your ass back into gear and help." He yells.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nod, slashing at a titans nape before it has a chance to eat one of the new scouts. They give me a grateful look but I don't stop. I put my focus on taking down titans and protecting those who are still alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just want all of us to get out of this in one piece. I want us all to go back to the old days. The anger starts to boil inside me as I watch Reiner attack Eren.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hanji and Mikasa fly past me, thunder spears at the ready. Firing, the spears hit Reiner. The rest of the team isn't far behind. Thunder spears fire into the armoured titan and within seconds the area lights up with explosions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the smoke clears, I get a good view of the Armoured titan. His whole body is slumped forward, exposing Reiner on the nape. Steam rises as most of the head of the armoured titan and Reiner himself are missing. There is no way he could still be alive after that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scouts begin to cheer and I find Jean, Connie, and Sasha on a nearby roof. I catch up with them, Jean looks proud and relieved. He embraces me tightly and I return the gestures. As we break apart, my eyes move down to Sasha and Connie who are crouched on the roof, tears come from their eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I move in between my two friends, arm around each of their shoulders. I know I wanted Reiner dead, I hated him for everything he ruined in my life. But deep down there is a part of me who mourns him or at least the good memories I had of him. He was like an older brother to all of us. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We had to do it." I whisper to them both.</span>
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  <span>"I can't-" Sasha starts but stops before finishing her sentence.</span>
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  <span>Jean stands over us with a confused look on his face. "Don't cry for him. He would've killed us in a heartbeat if he had gotten the chance."</span>
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  <span>I shoot a dark look at my boyfriend and shake my head at him as a warning. Before I have a chance to share my thoughts, Hanji's voice can be heard. </span>
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  <span>"Don't stop now, we should do another round of thunder spears into the armoured titan just to be sure." She calls out.</span>
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  <span>I stand back up and Jean gives me an unsure look. Moving to his side, I lace my fingers around his wrist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's hard for them, we were all close to him. Don't get me wrong, I want him to suffer but we can't deny the memories we made with him."</span>
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  <span>Movement out of the corner of my eye captures my attention but not just mine. Everyone freezes staring at the armoured titan as it starts to raise it's head. A loud roar emits from it and I partially cover my ears as Jean holds onto me. This isn't good.</span>
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  <span>He stops and his head slumps back forward. No one dares to move, frozen with fear. Armin points back towards the wall. Jean and I's eyes turn to see a large barrel flying over the wall. This is not good at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the sudden commotion, the name Bertholdt is mentioned by Armin. That roar was for him, that had been his signal. Reiner had called out for him, at least Reiner is mainly out of commission but fighting the colossal titan will be much harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fall back!" Hanji commands.</span>
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  <span>No one stops to question as we all start moving away from Reiner. Even Eren. The blast from Bertholdt changing would easily wipe half of us out. We don't have the manpower to be losing people right now.</span>
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  <span>Berthold emerges from the barrel and my hands ball into fists. I could go after him, take him down now. End all of this. Jean's hand lands on my shoulder as we all watch Bertholdt disappear behind a house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can take him." I snap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's be smart about this. We can't go losing you this early on. We need you." Armin says.</span>
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  <span>I roll my eyes but don't argue any further with him on the matter. He is right but the urge to take Reiner and Bertholdt down is growing stronger. I know that at some stage during this, I won't be able to follow orders any longer.</span>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter Twenty Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armin and Hanji approach Bertholdt leaving the rest of us behind. We all watch in silence as Armin tries to reason with him.<br/>They stand on a nearby roof, facing each other. I can barely hear what is being said, all I know is that I want to attack Bertholdt now. I hate all this waiting around. We have the manpower to restrain him.<br/>Bertholdt’s eyes move over to the rest of us, lingering on me just for a second. “I only want Eren, (y/n), and the death of everyone inside the walls.” He yells.<br/>Eren’s titan flinches from beside me and I can feel my whole body start to tremble with rage. Disgusting. They were all disgusting. What kind of mission requires the death of everyone inside the wall?<br/>Jean takes my hand, pulling me a little closer to him in a protective manner. Gently placing his free hand on my head, he turns my gaze away from Bertholdt.<br/>“He won’t take you away from me.” He whispers to me.<br/>I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, trying to calm myself. I inhale Jean’s scent, just wanting to stay like this forever; being close to him and all of our friends. He brushes a hand over my hair.<br/>“I won’t let him get the chance.” I whisper back.<br/>I move away from Jean a little so I can see what is happening with Armin and Bertholdt. Something is off. Someone is missing. Mikasa. She slipped away while Jean was comforting me. <br/>I flick a look to Eren who motions back over to Armin and Bertholdt. As I look back over at the two guys, Mikasa appears behind Bertholdt. Rage and hate in her eyes. The same feeling bubbling away inside me.<br/>She strikes but the scumbag blocks her. He jumps back, distancing himself from her. <br/>I should have been helping her. We could’ve easily taken him together. Why was I not included in this? Who made this plan?<br/>“Retreat.” Hanji calls, her eyes trained on me.<br/>Before I have a chance to process what’s happening, Eren has snatched me off the roof. Jean latches onto his shoulder as we move away from Bertholdt.<br/>I struggle in Eren’s grip. I want to go after Bertholdt, not run away from me. “No!” I yell. “Let me go.”<br/>Eren ducks behind a building, sheltering us just as the sky lights up. I cover my eyes from the intense blast and light that radiates from Bertholdt transforming. <br/>A calm of silences washes through the city and I finally peek through my eyes. Standing in the middle of Shiganshina is the colossal titan. Buildings demolished in the blast. His huge body looms over us all.<br/>This is a problem now.<br/>Bertholdt as a human would have been easy to take down, the amount of times we took him down in hand to hand combat even me. But as a titan, he is nearly impossible to get close to. <br/>Armin and Mikasa catch up with us. Safe from the blast.<br/>“Where’s Hanji’s squad?” Jean asks.<br/>Eren places me on his shoulder beside Jean as I wait for someone to answer. My eyes move between Mikasa and Armin hoping for some good news.<br/>“They were underneath the blast.” Armin says quietly.<br/>My eyes grow wide and I stare out over the destruction towards the colossal titan. Tears brim at the edges of my eyes. <br/>“No.” The word tumbles from my mouth.<br/>Jean places his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sure they’re okay.”<br/>The Colossal titan starts picking up broken houses and throwing them. Tears dribble down my face. Hanji’s smart, she would’ve gotten away. <br/>She’s fine.<br/>She’s fine.<br/>She’s fine.<br/>I repeat it over and over in my mind, trying to grapple onto some kind of hope. It’s Hanji, she has been through worse. But, no matter what I tell myself that sinking feeling isn’t going away.<br/>I need to make a decision now or never. Looking between Jean and the rest of the squad, their eyes are focused on the Colossal titan. Armin looks up at Jean.<br/>“I need you to take charge.” He says. “I need your help.”<br/>Jean glances at me for a second before nodding. “I can do that.” He says. “Everyone get on Eren, we will decide what to do from here.” He announces. “We can’t just charge at the Colossal titan, we need a plan.”<br/>As everyone starts climbing onto Eren, I grab Jean by the collar pulling his face down to mine. I press my lips against his before he can argue that this isn’t the time for this. I want one last kiss before I do something stupid, something that could end my life.<br/>He pulls back and smiles down at me, cupping my face in his hand. “We can do this.” He says.<br/>“I believe in you.” I answer back.<br/>Eren moves further away from the Colossal titan, keeping our distance. Jean starts explaining a plan as they all watch as buildings are being destroyed and Bertholdt moves closer to the wall.<br/>We all pause for a moment to watch. Over my dead body is he going to make it. I inch back from the squad, making sure my movements are quiet and unnoticed. The last thing I need is them chasing after me. I can do this on my own.<br/>No one needs to get hurt. <br/>Stepping onto the roof and shimming down the ledge in through a broken window. I hold my breath as I land, waiting just in case. Not a sound. I creep through the broken house, careful of where I stand. Most of these places are probably very rotten.<br/>Out on the street, I make a run for it. The voices rise up, they have noticed I’ve gone. Hopefully, they ignore that and carry on trying to devise their plan. I can’t have them wasting their time finding me, I have a plan to save us all hopefully.<br/>It’s going to take everything that I have to get near the Colossal titan and rip that bastard out. I will make his death slow.<br/>Slipping down side streets and jumping over rubble, I make a beeline straight for Bertholdt. The maneuver gear would be faster but that would give my location away to both the squad and the Colossal titan. If I want my plan to work, I need to be sneaky.<br/>A roar emits through the air and I know it’s Eren. I pause and wait. The Colossal titan turns its head for a moment, glancing over in the squad's direction. I don’t know what they’re trying to do but the Colossal titan seems to ignore them and carries on his path towards the wall.<br/>I use my gear to get a better vantage point. Hidden by a chimney, I look over the city. The squad charges at the Colossal titan and my breathing holts. Are they crazy? They must realise how stupid it is trying to take him on.<br/>Eren’s titan suddenly goes flying into the top of the wall and my heart stops. I drop back down onto the street. The explosions from thunder spears alerts me that they are still fighting. That maybe Eren was the only one that got injured. <br/>My thoughts go straight to Jean, what if he’s hurt or worse dead? My breathing hitches in my throat and guilt washes over me. I abandoned my friends for my own selfish gain, my own hatred taking over my mind. I am a fool.<br/>A heavy footstep behind me snaps me back to reality. Swiftly turning around, I look up at none other than the armoured titan. He is a few hundred metres from me but I can feel his attention focused on me. His movements stop and I’m frozen to the spot, trying to reason with myself on what to do next.<br/>I could risk changing into a titan and fighting off Reiner. I wouldn’t say we were eventually matched but I would be able to hold my ground against him for a little bit. <br/>Just as I go to bite on my hand, the squad flies overhead. Jean’s eyes make brief contact with mine and he does not look pleased. He gives me a slight shake of his head.<br/>Reiner starts charging, ignoring the scouts flying towards him. His focus is on me and me only. I swing myself off the ground and start gliding through the streets. He gains on me fast. He really isn’t holding back now.<br/>A loud bang rings from behind me and I glance back to see the armoured titan collapsing, mid sprint, to the ground. His face moves to look up at me as I come to stop on a nearby roof. <br/>“(y/n)!” A voice calls out.<br/>Just as I move my eyes away from the armoured titan to see who is calling my name, a bright light comes from behind me. Over at the wall, the Colossal titan is releasing a large amount of steam. Eren’s titan had been on top of the wall only minutes ago but now it was gone.<br/>What is going on?<br/>The armoured titan rises to his feet, focus still trained on me. I take my chance and bite down on my hand. It’s now or never. <br/>I stand in front of the armoured titan. My fellow scouts yelling things out to me, faces filled with concern and doubt. I’ve betrayed their trust once. The least I can do now is take this bastard done once and for all. <br/>Jean suddenly flies between us, capturing the attention of the armoured titan. A roar leaves me as a warning to him. Not that he’d listen anyway. <br/>Just as I’m about to engage, Sasha and Connie both fly in at the Armoured titan’s face with thunder spears. He swipes his hand through the air, making contact with Sasha. Connie jumps in and whisks her away before he can do anymore damage to her.<br/>Through the smoke, I can make out the armoured titans figure. Charging forward, I get ahold of him around the neck, locking him in place. Out of nowhere a figure emerges from the destruction firing a thunder spear straight into the side of the Armoured titan’s face.<br/>Hanji. The relief that rushes through me is only for a second before the thunder spear explodes, taking me with it.</p><p> </p><p><br/>My eyes flutter open and I’m staring up into the sky. The evening sky, mixtures of oranges, red, maybe a hint of yellow. A smile graces my face as my body feels no pain.<br/>Jean and Hanji’s face appear over mine. I reach my hands out touching the sides of their faces. Did we all die? Is the pain and suffering finally over? Are we finally free?<br/>“(y/n), I love you but you’re crazy.” Jean says, helping to sit me up.<br/>Reality comes back and hits me hard as I realise I’m missing a leg. Most likely blown off in the attack. My eyes move around and I see that Hanji has moved over to a wall. Threatening words leaving her mouth. My head drops to the side and Jean eases me in beside him.<br/>“I love you too.” I say back to Jean.<br/>He groans. “We really need to talk about your actions.”<br/>“Changing into a titan or running away?” I ask.<br/>“Both!” He snaps just as Mikasa tightens the bandage on his arm. “It’s like you have a death wish or something. You scare me, everytime you do something dumb like what you pulled before.”<br/>I shake my head. “I let my anger get to me and I apologise for taking off. I had the best intentions. I wanted to kill Reiner and Bertholdt before anyone else got killed or injured. I’m sick of losing people.”<br/>His hand finds mine and he lets out a long sigh. “I know you did but I was so worried when I watched you take on Reiner just then. That explosion could have killed you.”<br/>“It didn’t though.” I say with a tired smile. “Where is that traitor anyway?”<br/>Jean motions over to the wall where Hanji is. The dismembered figure of Reiner leans against the wall as Hanji has her blade pressed against his throat. <br/>“We need him alive, remember Hanji. If we plan to have another titan shifter among us, we need Reiner or Bertholdt alive.” Jean reminds her.<br/>Hanji’s shoulders are shaking. This is not like her, where is the woman who is always crazy and focused? Something has happened, something bad. Jean stands up, leaving me on the ground for the moment.<br/>Hanji, Jean, and Mikasa start discussing something as I look down at my missing leg. This could have been so much worse. Why Erwin even considered me to become a captain is beyond me. Levi and him are going to be so disappointed in me.<br/>A groan comes from Reiner across the way, making my eyes snap up. If only I had another leg, I’d kill him here and now. I don’t care about making another shifter, I care about avenging those who were killed because of him.<br/>Mikasa takes off and I look at Jean for answers.<br/>“She is going to locate Eren and Armin, now that the Colossal titan has fallen they may have Bertholdt.”<br/>“And, if they have Bertholdt we can kill Reiner. We don’t need both of them.” Hanji explains looking at us both.<br/>She is missing her glasses and a bandage covers her right eye. There is pain on her face. I reach my hand out to her just as a red flare shoots into the sky. We all watch as it rises into the sky, this is the end of Reiner.<br/>Heavy footsteps capture our attention just as the cart titan flings itself towards Hanji. Jean leaps into action, knocking her out of the way. The titan stops in between Reiner and I, my eyes grow wide as I shuffle backwards on my bum. <br/>A blond man with glasses looks down at me. “Take her to.” His eyes are dark and contemplating.<br/>The titan turns it’s head to me, Reiner hanging from its mouth. I force myself up onto my one leg and hop backwards as it moves towards me.<br/>“Jean, Hanji.” I cry out as I pat my sides looking for my gear.<br/>The gear sitting where I had been lying. The titan looks down at it and crushes it under it’s foot.<br/>“(y/n)!” Jean calls back. “Hold on.”<br/>The titan lunges forward and I have nowhere to run. It captures me in it’s mouth, arms pinned to my side. I use my one good leg to kick at the inside of its mouth but even I know that it’s useless.<br/>The titan turns it’s head and I make eye contact with Jean and Hanji one last time before it runs off...</p>
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